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Raising the Bar: Why Women Don't Get Raises As Often As Men Do

BY Rachel Belle  on January 29, 2013 @ 5:27 pm (Updated: 5:29 am - 1/30/13 )

I really dislike asking for a raise. I get nervous, my stomach hurts, I feel dizzy. The more I talked with my friends about our experiences asking for money at work, the more I realized that, in general, it's a different experience for women than it is for men.

"It's very hard for me to ask for money for myself," says KIRO Radio anchorwoman Val Stouffer. "I think part of it is sort of the culture that I was brought up in of nice girls don't talk about money, religion or politics. Definitely, going forward with your life, it really affects how you see yourself and how you interact with people."

It seems like women don't ask for raises as often as men do, and we're much quicker to back down and accept a less than stellar offer compared to our male coworkers. To get a little more concrete evidence, I talked to Cindi Bright, a career counselor at Career Horizons in Bellevue.

"I would describe us women as less likely to ask for what we want. When offers are made to us, it's easier for a woman to just accept what is being offered to her. Men don't hold back. They carry a lot of self confidence and come in and ask for what they want to have."

Personally, I can have a hard time selling my good points during a negotiation because it feels like bragging.

"I've heard that a lot. That women feel like if they advocate, and I'll use the word advocate, for themselves then its considered bragging and it's not. This may be a controversial statement but men do it all the time, right? So, women going in and being able to talk about what they do and how well they've done it is simply advocating for themselves. Get over it and start doing it because that's how you start to gain the traction and get people to pay attention to you."

She says the first negotiation you do at a company is the most important.

"It's hard when you come in and you accept less because once you're in, to be able to get yourself up to par, it's a marathon, right?"

So what do we do? How do we get what we want?

"It's having your facts together and it's knowing how to market yourself and how to be be able to demonstrate why you feel you deserve that raise. To understand what you're asking for and kind of know the landscape of what you're trying to get yourself to."

So why do women, strong, independent, vocal women often cower in the boss' office?

Val thinks it's a lack of self esteem, that permeates many areas of our lives, from body image to how we interact with people at work. Similarly, Cindi says it's a lack of self confidence. The women who aren't having a hard time advocating for themselves? Generation Y. Cindi says these young ladies have no problem asking for what they want, which often means a raise after just three months on the job.

Rachel Belle, Ron and Don Show Reporter
Rachel Belle is a feature contributor and personality on The Ron & Don Show on KIRO Radio (weekdays 3-7pm), and host of Ring My Belle Weekends (Saturdays at 5pm and Sundays at 3pm).
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Comments (11)


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  • murr wrote...
    I wont EVEN start
    January 30, 2013 5:15 am
    Its just funny reading this.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • boeingmarcus wrote...
    Could be Rachel...
    January 30, 2013 5:24 am
    Because you have an annoying voice, annoying attitude and could easily be replaced by someone newly out of broadcasting school.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • hawks$life wrote...
    She's a cutter
    January 30, 2013 6:18 am
    Look at that scar on her arm! Why would anyone give a raise to such an emotional headcase?
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • CH wrote...
    don't be fooled
    January 30, 2013 8:45 am
    females know how to get a rise. I give xkop give one every day.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • SONAR GOD wrote...
    IT IS MUCH MORE PRIMAL
    January 30, 2013 8:57 am
    Women evoled to gatherers they take what comes as it comes, Men evoled as Hunters they go out and kill what they need or want. Looking at this way explains a lot like shopping or how we interact in groups. To many people over think human behavior we have been civilized for a few thousand year but we were primitive for millions its a no brainer which on has more effect.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Seattle Dad wrote...
    No statistical evidence
    January 30, 2013 10:30 am
    that there is a pay disparity or lack of raises for women. I give raises to a staff of 20 people. It is a mix of men and women. One of the women is awesome and got a big raise. One can't perform in this environment and got none. The same distribution goes for the men. Performance is the basis for a raise. The only other explanation is that some companies provide special benefits for women that men would not get, and maybe some women stay with a company out of loyalty for good treatment. In 25 years of white collar work, I've not seen any disparity between men and women for performance based raises.
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  • awbitf wrote...
    What about
    January 30, 2013 10:55 am
    the trending data that women in the workforce are more likely to be in a union? You article doesn't seem to delineate the two. Unionized, your pay schedule is very regimented.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • BikerDude wrote...
    Just
    January 30, 2013 11:05 am
    A bunch of hooey!
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • mnpat wrote...
    Is this a multiple choice answer?
    January 30, 2013 12:43 pm
    Just saying
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Honest wrote...
    Poor Journalism
    January 30, 2013 2:39 pm
    This is a terrible and uninformed article. There is no evidence behind any of the author’s claims and at no point is the author close to answering the question put forth in the title. In any reputable journalistic writing course, students are taught to use evidence to support claims instead of outdated gender-based dogmas like those posited above. This sort of unscientific pseudo-journalism, full of nothing aside from her uninformed opinion and that of an out-of-date career counselor does us no good. It’s troublesome to me that this website serves as a sounding board for a freelance journalist to submit as journalism, her own biased and unintelligent opinions.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
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