Have you ever had your handwriting analyzed? Like getting your palm read or going to a psychic, it fulfills that strange human need to have a complete stranger tell you things you already know about yourself. I had the world's best handwriting analyzer, Bart Baggett, take a look at our penmanship. Bart has 25 years experience, five books and has helped solve crimes and mysteries using his skills.
First, he checks to make sure he's got everyone's names down pat.
"Donald or Don? He's my favorite character so far. He's a trip."
Hee hee. We'll get to Don a little later. Since it's my story, we'll start with me.
"You probably have the prettiest handwriting in radio. You have very beautiful, feminine handwriting. For those of you at home, it's literally like a third grade teacher writing so pretty and so perfect and so feminine. It's just so fun to look at. Its aesthetically pleasing. Now, she's proud of that. I would be scared of this. People who write too pretty tend to be perfectionists, they tend to have anxiety when things go wrong. They tend to be concerned about their image and what people look like. I love the fact you're so organized. But I'm afraid you're going to get anxious if things fall apart at the seams."
This confused me, because despite being very Type A, I have a very silly side. Bart says this does not come out in my handwriting, probably because I actually care about my penmanship and make an effort to keep it looking nice. Something I was not expecting, a look into my family life.
"Your cursive writing says you're close to your mother but your father is missing. Maybe he's passed away or maybe the relationship is not as close."
He's exactly right. Now on to Sean. Silly, silly Sean, with his pinata business and his Four Loko drinking high jinx.
"I don't want to insult Sean. He's like the normal guy. What can I say about Sean that's so interesting because he literally is the most middle of road. Average self esteem, average ego, very humble. I mean, he's just kind of a good person. I guess the one thing he might be unhappy that I'm saying is he's probably a little sexually frustrated."
Let's move on to our hardworking producer, Libby.
"I like Libby! She's spunky and outgoing and bright and social. Her handwriting actually writes like a man. She's analytical, hyper critical, very honest. She might have a little temper. She's kind of aggressive like a guy. That doesn't mean she's not feminine. But she is really, really driven and has a good eye for detail. Man, she's smart. Getting into an argument with her would be difficult because she's smart, she's got a little bit of resentment and she loves strong, smart men. So she'll sit and go toe to toe with the toughest guy in the room."
I think that's pretty spot on.
"Now Ron, he's probably the most introverted of all the personalities. That doesn't mean he can't be emotive, but anyone who writes this small is normally an engineer, a computer programmer or a racecar driver. They're intense individuals. His signature is big which means a big healthy ego. The one thing that pops out about Ron is his aggressiveness. Which is interesting because you think Don is the aggressive one, but he's a big personality. Actually, Ron is more aggressive because he's so focused like a time bomb."
OK, and now on to the most fascinating handwriting analysis, Don O'Neill.
"He has all of the 'Hell Traits' in my first book. By 'Hell Traits' I mean defiance, hates to follow rules, he's got a huge ego which means he's going to be so confident in public. This guy's going to shake your hand, look into your eyes, he's going to be great. But that ego is also masking an insecurity. He's exceptionally sensitive to whether people like him or not. It's a fear of not being loved."
How does Don do with the ladies?
"He has a huge issue with women. He has probably had a scattered past of strong women that he feels he's been betrayed by. So now he's only attracted to really strong, tough girls. Then he feels like it's an accomplishment to get them to love him. So I would say his relationships are tumultuous at best."
But he's got his good traits as well.
"He's got the biggest sex drive of the afternoon show. He's dynamic, he's energetic, he's smart, he's got a good eye for detail. But he just doesn't fit into a box. He is someone who likes to be on his own, defiant and make his own rules."
Bart says you can change your personality by changing your handwriting. For example, he used to have really low self esteem, and he crossed his T-s really low.
"The higher up that stem you get, the more ambitious you are, the more confident you are and the more success you'll have in life. So I literally say, change your T-bar, raise it to the upper part of the stem and you'll raise your self image."
You can learn to analyze handwriting on Bart's website, http://handwritinguniversity.com/