Listeners give Ursula advice for empty nest syndrome
Aug 16, 2018, 9:02 PM | Updated: Aug 17, 2018, 10:39 am
(University of Colorado Boulder Facebook)
News anchor Ursula Reutin was feeling a bit down on the Dori Monson Show on Thursday — she is about to go through the tough transition that all parents inevitably face sooner or later.
“I have just a heavy heart because my husband and I are soon going to be empty-nesters,” Ursula said.
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Ursula’s youngest son will head off to the University of Colorado Boulder tomorrow, officially emptying her home of kids.
Dori asked listeners to call in and give Ursula and her husband advice for how to deal with the sadness of empty nest syndrome.
Jeremy from Bellevue said that saying goodbye to your young college student is its own grieving process, not unlike the kind of grieving one has after a death or a divorce.
“You lose a part of your identity, and you don’t know how to operate anymore because it seems like a large part of you is no longer there,” he said.
While the golden years with the kids out of the house are normally looked at as an idyllic time of life, Jeremy said, what few people talk about is how gut-wrenching it can be to say goodbye to your young adult children.
“The important part too is to allow yourself to grieve, be okay with the fact that you have to change,” he said. “It’s a shock right now.”
Kimmy from West Seattle grew up in Boulder, CO, and, like Ursula’s son, attended the University of Colorado. According to Kimmy, Ursula’s son has much to look forward to in his new state and new school.
“After a couple of weeks, you hear some joy in their voice, what they discovered in the new town they’re in, and the new friends that they’re gonna have that are gonna be lifelong friends,” she said.
She said to look at the process not as a sad one, but as a celebration of what the young student has accomplished.
“The bonus — after four years of college, you get a pay raise,” Kimmy laughed.
Rachel in Lynnwood saw her two daughters move to New York and California, respectively.
“Our planned visits together were what got me through,” Rachel said.
In between being able to fly to her daughters’ new homes, Rachel said, spending time with friends is a great way to fill your empty hours.
Jimmy lives in Colorado and agreed with Kimmy that the mountainous state has much to recommend itself — including more tolerance for political differences than Washington.
“There’s a great mix of both liberal and conservative kids, and they co-exist here, people co-exist here a lot better,” he said. “Your son is gonna have a great time.”
He added, “Just embrace him being gone – it’s actually gonna make the family time spent together better, because absence does make the heart grow fonder.”
Jeremy got a few laughs out of Ursula when he offered to exchange phone numbers and check up on her son to make sure the freshman stays out of trouble.
At the end of the segment, Ursula remarked that hearing from listeners had helped her to feel better about facing an empty nest.
“Knowing that other people have gone through it and survived, and even thrived, yes, that did help,” Ursula said.