Hope Solo Stevens 980
Saltz said that sometimes people try to turn their bad parent into a good parent, by seeking out those traits later in life. (Photo: WhoSay.com/HopeSolo/)

After Jerramy Stevens' latest arrest, a theory on what keeps Hope Solo around

BY Alyssa Kleven  on November 29, 2012 @ 7:38 am (Updated: 2:22 pm - 11/29/12 )

Dr. Gail Saltz said what makes most people uncomfortable with with her theory on why we pick mates is having "marry, sex, and parent" in the same sentence. Though that isn't what her theory is about.

Saltz, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, told Seattle's Morning News that many people do find themselves marrying someone who represents their opposite sex parent.

That's the kind of reasonable explanation many people are looking for in the highly publicized relationship between newlywed soccer star Hope Solo and former Seahawk Jerramy Stevens, as they continue to make headlines.

Stevens was arrested again Wednesday this time for violation of probation in Florida. According to authorities, the probation violation is from past possession of marijuana. Police arrested Stevens at his apartment in Tampa.

Stevens was arrested just two weeks ago at a pre-wedding party in Kirkland. Officers responding to the house party said they had probable cause to arrest Stevens because Solo, Stevens' then-fiance, had a cut on her elbow and the two had been arguing.

Solo attended Stevens' court hearing the following day before the pair was married later that evening.

Charges for the Nov. 12, 2012 arrest were dismissed.

While preparing for an exhibition soccer match in Solo told reporters she is happy and that she's "never been hit."

Solo again, wrote on her Twitter account on Thursday "My beautiful husband & i happy as can be! Let me set the record straight!!! Jerramy has NEVER treated me poorly!"

Whether Solo has been hit or not, Stevens still has quite the rap sheet. It goes back to 1998 and includes a guilty plea for a hit-and-run incident, a DUI and multiple arrests for marijuana possession.

So why would a shining soccer star, fresh from the London Olympics with a gold medal around her neck, choose to be with Stevens?

Saltz said much of it likely leads back to her tumultuous relationship with her father. Solo wrote about her dad in her book "Solo: A Memoir of Hope."

"People manage trauma in their past, often, by reliving it. It's a misguided attempt, unfortunately, to rework it, to process it and in some ways to understand it but to get back into it," explained Saltz.

Saltz said that sometimes people try to turn their bad parent into a good parent by seeking out those traits later in life. She said they think, "'I'm going to look for them again, I'm going to fall in love with them, they're the ones for me;' to try and put it in the short hand, that's why women often go out there and repeat it."

Once kids are in the mix, the cycle starts all over again.

She said that for some, like Solo and Stevens, it may be hard for their cycle to continue.

"When the media spotlight is on certain people, it makes it hard for them to go on," said Saltz. "But when it's not someone famous, they live in misery."

The doctor said since she doesn't have a relationship with Solo and Stevens personally, she can't speak to their case specifically.

Still, Saltz said, "It's always more complicated than it appears to be on the surface."

Alyssa Kleven, MyNorthwest.com Editor
Alyssa Kleven is an editor and content producer at MyNorthwest.com. She enjoys doting over her adorable dachshund Winnie - named for Arcade Fire front-man Win Butler.
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Comments (8)


  • Add A Comment

  • chardma wrote...
    physician
    November 29, 2012 9:58 am
    this doctor has not seen the individuals and if she had she would be violating her ethics to talk about them...I seriously question the ethics of her commenting on this couple..don't see how this is helpful or newsworthy
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • deltta wrote...
    I still
    November 29, 2012 10:04 am
    Don't care
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • HPD 5-0 wrote...
    Solo...
    November 29, 2012 11:04 am
    The world is full of women w/ "daddy issues". The world is also full of losers waiting to prey on them...
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Paul Kersey wrote...
    It's the Era Of The Bimbo
    November 29, 2012 1:55 pm
    Sandra Fluke should be person of the year.

    Susan Rice should be promoted for being female and properly tinted.

    Elizabeth Warren should be granted an Indian casino license.

    Hope Solo should be awarded an Honorary Doctorate in Women's Studies.

    GO BIMBOS

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • William Lawn wrote...
    Bimbos and bitter old white guys
    November 29, 2012 4:28 pm
    who lost the election

    Is there a bad movie about that?

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Paul Kersey wrote...
    That's not a bad movie
    November 29, 2012 5:34 pm
    that would be Joe Biden on The View.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • adkim67 wrote...
    sick and tired of this NON news story
    November 29, 2012 4:51 pm
    I'm sick and tired of hearing about this whack job, Stevens. He's a total disgrace as a human being. She's nutty for going along with him in any capacity. But the big gripe is the NEWS people.. is this the best story you guys can come up with.. Drop it already!
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Burn_Notice wrote...
    This is another Junk Story
    November 30, 2012 12:52 am
    Anyone at MYNW could have picked up the phone and called the their legal mouthpiece and been told then that an arrest for a probation violation is common place after an arrest on a subsequent matter. Once Stevens was arrested the night before his wedding on the domestic violence allegation then it automatically kicks the ball in motion for a arrest warrant etc and a "Show Cause" hearing to determine if his probation should be revoked in the Florida case.

    A defendant can have their probation revoked and be remanded into custody to serve any remaining time left on their original sentence even if they are later found not guilty of the subsequent offense. The burden of proof used in a probation violation is a preponderance of the evidence. It is NOT beyond a reasonable doubt.

    Remember people, MYNW is nothing more than blog, so if your expectations of journalism are low, you'll be right at home reading the latest quasi-news stories on MYNW.

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }