MYNORTHWEST NEWS

After Jerramy Stevens’ latest arrest, a theory on what keeps Hope Solo around

Nov 29, 2012, 7:38 AM | Updated: 2:22 pm

Saltz said that sometimes people try to turn their bad parent into a good parent, by seeking out th...

Saltz said that sometimes people try to turn their bad parent into a good parent, by seeking out those traits later in life. (Photo: WhoSay.com/HopeSolo/)

(Photo: WhoSay.com/HopeSolo/)

Dr. Gail Saltz said what makes most people uncomfortable with with her theory on why we pick mates is having “marry, sex, and parent” in the same sentence. Though that isn’t what her theory is about.

Saltz, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, told Seattle’s Morning News that many people do find themselves marrying someone who represents their opposite sex parent.

That’s the kind of reasonable explanation many people are looking for in the highly publicized relationship between newlywed soccer star Hope Solo and former Seahawk Jerramy Stevens, as they continue to make headlines.

Stevens was arrested again Wednesday this time for violation of probation in Florida. According to authorities, the probation violation is from past possession of marijuana. Police arrested Stevens at his apartment in Tampa.

Stevens was arrested just two weeks ago at a pre-wedding party in Kirkland. Officers responding to the house party said they had probable cause to arrest Stevens because Solo, Stevens’ then-fiance, had a cut on her elbow and the two had been arguing.

Solo attended Stevens’ court hearing the following day before the pair was married later that evening.

Charges for the Nov. 12, 2012 arrest were dismissed.

While preparing for an exhibition soccer match in Solo told reporters she is happy and that she’s “never been hit.”

Solo again, wrote on her Twitter account on Thursday “My beautiful husband & i happy as can be! Let me set the record straight!!! Jerramy has NEVER treated me poorly!”

Whether Solo has been hit or not, Stevens still has quite the rap sheet. It goes back to 1998 and includes a guilty plea for a hit-and-run incident, a DUI and multiple arrests for marijuana possession.

So why would a shining soccer star, fresh from the London Olympics with a gold medal around her neck, choose to be with Stevens?

Saltz said much of it likely leads back to her tumultuous relationship with her father. Solo wrote about her dad in her book “Solo: A Memoir of Hope.”

“People manage trauma in their past, often, by reliving it. It’s a misguided attempt, unfortunately, to rework it, to process it and in some ways to understand it but to get back into it,” explained Saltz.

Saltz said that sometimes people try to turn their bad parent into a good parent by seeking out those traits later in life. She said they think, “‘I’m going to look for them again, I’m going to fall in love with them, they’re the ones for me;’ to try and put it in the short hand, that’s why women often go out there and repeat it.”

Once kids are in the mix, the cycle starts all over again.

She said that for some, like Solo and Stevens, it may be hard for their cycle to continue.

“When the media spotlight is on certain people, it makes it hard for them to go on,” said Saltz. “But when it’s not someone famous, they live in misery.”

The doctor said since she doesn’t have a relationship with Solo and Stevens personally, she can’t speak to their case specifically.

Still, Saltz said, “It’s always more complicated than it appears to be on the surface.”

MyNorthwest News

Image: Brightly colored eggs are set on a table on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington,...

Ted Buehner

Expect good Easter weekend weather for egg hunts, chilly evening Mariners games

Both Saturday and Sunday of Easter weekend will feature temperatures warming to around 60 degrees across much of Western Washington.

3 hours ago

Taylor Swift performs onstage during the Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour at Lumen Field on July 22, 20...

Micki Gamez, KIRO Newsradio and Bill Kaczaraba, MyNorthwest

Seattle tourism dollars break records following All-Star Week, Taylor Swift

It was a record-setting year for dollars flowing into Seattle from tourists.

4 hours ago

Image: A bridge in Carnation....

Julia Dallas

Carnation frustrated with Seattle again after 8th false emergency alarm induces widespread panic

Carnation citizens have faced a series of panic-inducing alarms after SPU's system for the Tolt Dam falsely sounded eight times.

5 hours ago

Grocery store shopper...

Bill Kaczaraba

Ways to deal with Seattle grocery store sticker shock

Seattle grocery store sticker shock continues to play havoc on locals, but there are ways to counter high prices.

6 hours ago

belltown hellcat social media...

Frank Sumrall

Infamous ‘Belltown Hellcat’ social media influencer charged with reckless driving

The social media influencer has been accused of driving 107 miles per hour through Belltown in a Dodge Hellcat.

7 hours ago

KIRO Newsradio gracie awards...

MyNorthwest Staff

KIRO Newsradio anchors receive Gracie Awards for outstanding work

Heather Bosch and Lisa Brooks, anchors at KIRO Newsradio, have been honored by the Alliance for Women in Media with prestigious Gracie Awards.

10 hours ago

After Jerramy Stevens’ latest arrest, a theory on what keeps Hope Solo around