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Seattle online dating guru shares her "dealbreakers"

Dating in Seattle can be tough, but one woman who documents her ventures in online dating, has some advice (and horror stories.) It's been about four years and she's been on a little over 100 first dates, many of those ended up turning in to second dates.

"It's really easy to be a girl who's online dating," Kate Bergstrom told TBTL.

Bergstrom, along with TBTL Tens, shared their online dating success and disasters on a recent podcast of the show.

Listen to Online Dating Horror Stories! (And some nice stories too) on the TBTL podcast

Bergstrom's blog, which is also republished by, tends to share more disasters than successes. But after all her time in the online dating field, she does have some dealbreakers to share with those ready to put their hearts on the line.

Bergstrom uses She said that she briefly gave the site eHarmony a chance, but wasn't a fan of filling out the large questionnaire. She suggests opting for the pay-per-month sites over free dating sites like

"When people don't have to pay for something, they perhaps don't take it as seriously," she said.

According to Bergstrom, pictures can say a lot about the person, but there are definitely some photo choices to stay away from. She said that if there are only pictures of scenery, that's a bad sign.

"If there is a picture taken of them only in a towel, taken with their cell phone, that screams d-bag," said Bergstrom.

She also said that obvious spelling and grammar mistakes, like men who can't spell "Seattle" correctly, should probably be avoided.

Luke shared a note that one TBTL listener had received in her online dating mailbox. The note praised her for her ethereal beauty and said that she didn't need to respond, but the man just had to share how her "perfection" struck him.

This lead Bergstram to another online dating faux-pas: "He didn't say anything specific, or that indicated he had read her profile." She said it's likely a note that he copy and pasted and sent to many women, getting a few responses back from women who mostly, above other things, wanted to be complimented.

Other than these dealbreaking scenarios, Bergstram said you can run into some other problems with online dating: Including the professional online daters.

"It's so easy to get really addicted to the initial rush," Bergstram said of the first date. "Then, it's really easy to get picky."

About the Author

Alyssa Kleven is an editor and content producer at She enjoys doting over her adorable dachshund Winnie - named for Arcade Fire front-man Win Butler.


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