Dori Monson: How to resolve strife in Middle East and get a Seattle tunnel built

Jul 28, 2014, 2:33 PM | Updated: 4:50 pm

Hamas' web of tunnels is taking center stage in the relentless conflict between the militant group and Israel, with Israel's ground war placing their destruction as a key objective. (AP Photo/Tsafrir Abayov, File)

(AP Photo/Tsafrir Abayov, File)

Taken from Monday’s edition of The Dori Monson Show.

I have really shocking news for all the taxpayers of our region. We are just getting word that the repair of the Bertha tunnel is falling behind schedule.

According to the Washington State Department of Transportation, they’re going to have an updated schedule later this week, but it appears Bertha (aka Christine) has fallen behind schedule.

This is a tough job to do some days. I don’t like being the bearer of bad news. I don’t like just spotlighting problems here. So I do have a solution.

What do we do about this? Aside from just biding our time and waiting, I have an idea. I hope that everyone at WSDOT and Seattle Tunnel Partners are listening to me.

This is going to seem like a non sequitur until I brilliantly tie all this together. But last week, we had on this guy up in Bellingham who is putting a resolution in front of the Bellingham City Council to demand peace between the Israelis and Hamas.

Now, what is Israel doing right now? They are bombing the Hamas tunnels that go from Gaza into Israel. And Hamas, yes they’re terrorists, but they apparently are brilliant at building tunnels.

So, what I am proposing to WSDOT and Seattle Tunnel Partners is instead of the people you have running this project now, why don’t you bring Hamas over here. I know we don’t like getting into bed with terrorists – that rubs people the wrong way – but they are fantastic, apparently, at digging tunnels.

So get Hamas over here, and then once they’re done, they can go up to be with their buddies in Bellingham, who have been supporting them with this resolution.

We get a tunnel built. Bellingham gets Hamas, and then once Hamas leaves the Middle East, Israel can have a little peace, and all of a sudden, we’ve solved Middle East strife, and gotten the Seattle tunnel built.

Again, I don’t expect anything other than maybe a hearty handshake and a thank you from the people in charge of our region if you pursue this and get the tunnel built for a fraction of the amount of this monstrosity that we’re working on right now.

It’s just an idea. I’m tossing it out there. I’m just in the brainstorming stages.

Taken from Monday’s edition of The Dori Monson Show.