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Can they survive the showers?

Former Jets linebacker Jonathan Vilma wondered what he would do if a gay person looks at him in the shower. (AP Photo/File)

America’s showers are once again the battlefront in the latest skirmish over gayness.

Way back in 1993, when Bill Clinton tried to make gay soldiers equal, it was one of the first questions to come up: what will happen in the showers?

And now it’s 2014, NFL prospect Michael Sam has announced he’s gay, and what’s got people freaked out?

“He would not be accepted as much as we’d think he’d be accepted. Imagine he’s the guy next me and you know I get dressed, naked, taking a shower, the whole nine. And it just so happens he looks me,” said former Jets linebacker Jonathan Vilma – wondering what to do if a gay person looks at him.

Well, having been to the health club myself, where they have an open shower, I can tell you that looking happens. You have to look somewhere.

But here’s what you do when you’re in an open shower and someone looks in your direction. You suck in your gut and keep showering.

I’ve never been in an official NFL shower, but it must be a pretty high anxiety experience – everyone trying to avoid looking at anything. Since the players must know by now that they’ve been showering with gay athletes for years, I guess you all have to shower with your eyes closed. At least you don’t have to worry about sucking in your gut like the rest of us.

Although, considering how much money the NFL takes in, the teams could probably afford privacy dividers.

The other thing is, in the event someone did decide to get fresh, you’re all football players. You can probably protect yourselves.

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