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The sky is falling

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius testifies on Capitol Hill in Washington, Wednesday, Oct. 30, 2013, before the House Energy and Commerce Committee hearing on the difficulties plaguing the implementation of the Affordable Care Act. Partisan sparks were flying in Congress on Tuesday as Sebelius, President Barack Obama's top health official apologized for wasting consumers' time as they tried to use the crippled website that allows them to buy government mandated health insurance under the overhaul known as Obamacare. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

There were so many quotable moments at Wednesday’s hearing on the non-rollout.

“My Republican colleagues’ actions right here remind me of the story of “Chicken Little,” who ran around yelling, ‘The sky is falling, the sky is falling!’ But unlike Chicken Little, my Republican colleagues are actually rooting for the sky to fall,” said Democrat Elliot Engle.

But Republican Joe Barton would not be outdone, “Some might actually say we were in “The Wizard of Oz” land, given the parallel universes we appear to be inhabiting.”

A reference inspired by the fact that the witness, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, is from Kansas.

“Well, Madam Secretary,” said Barton, “while you’re from Kansas, we’re not from Kansas anymore.”

No – as it turns out we’re in a land where even single men will have to buy insurance that covers pregnancy.

“Men often do need maternity coverage for their spouses, yes,” said Sebelius.

“A single male, age 32, does not need maternity coverage. Has a man ever delivered a baby?” one Congresswoman questioned.

They managed to get through the whole hearing without any indication that either side was the least bit interested actually cooperating on a solution, although I thought Colorado Republican Cory Gardner tossed off an interesting idea.

“I would also like to submit a waiver from my district from Obamacare and hope that you will consider waiving Obamacare for the 4th Congressional District,” said Gardner.

There you go, exactly as I was suggesting last week: Let voters decide if they want their Congressional district covered. And if they vote no, they are free to be kicked off their policies for a preexisting conditions, free not to be insured for pregnancy on account of being a man, and free to pay jacked-up premiums on account of being a woman.

But at least we learned why this is so controversial.

“Some people like to drive a Ford, not a Ferrari, and some people like to drink out of a red solo cup, not a crystal stem,” said Republican Marsha Blackburn.

I think she’s saying that what America really wants is not health insurance, but a cheap car and a stiff drink.

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