There’s really nothing more to say we haven’t heard before except that here it is – Election Eve. That magical night when the Great Ballot goes house to house turning undecided voters into little red people and little blue people.
It’s your last chance to figure it out and what better way to get in the mood than for me to read to you that beloved election season classic, The Night Before Tuesday.
The night before Tuesday; and in every house
Each likely voter sits down with their spouse.
The kids are asleep, but emit quiet screams
As that day’s attack ads poison their dreams.
You hear them scream ‘daddy,’ you hear them scream ‘mommy:’
“I’m tired of Bronco Bama and Mitt Romney.”
So momma with her pencil and I with my pen
Sat down with our ballots to try this again.
What facts are we missing? What more do we need?
Another debate? A little more weed?
It costs one billion dollars to choose this one guy!
One billion dollars – and what does it buy?
You CAN put Commander in Chief on your bio,
But everyone with a phone hates your guts in Ohio.
We’ve heard every speech, we’ve all been bored stiff
Since either choice leads to the same fiscal cliff
And so I voted RED, and she voted BLUE…
And we climbed into bed, and made love ’til two.
So drink and be merry, and be of good cheer!
That most sacred day has begun to draw near
We’ve reached that most wonderful time of the year:
When the ads, and it’s voice, will all disappear.