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 Linda Thomas
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Linda is the morning news anchor and features reporter for KIRO Radio. This is her local news blog, with an emphasis on social media, technology, Northwest companies, education, parenting, and anything else that grabs her attention.

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A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances. Some states, including Washington, consider impersonating someone online illegal. Sometimes the online deception continues in real life, and that can be more devastating as a Seattle man found out recently.

Catfish meets Fatal Attraction for a Seattle man duped online

January 21, 2013 @ 5:36 pm (Updated: 12:28 pm - 1/27/13 )

How could it possibly happen?

Notre Dame football star, and Heisman Trophy runner-up, Manti Te'o says he was tricked into believing an online romance was real. An acquaintance was pretending to be the woman he poured his heart out to on the phone and online. He'll talk about the deception in an interview Thursday with Katie Couric.

While there are those who doubt Te'o was an innocent victim of an elaborate hoax, others know this kind of thing happens all the time.

"I'm talking about my embarrassing situation, hoping I can alert other guys who could be victims," says Mark. "I was duped."

I've changed the name in this story to protect a local man who has already been through enough humiliation. I'm calling him Mark.

The 39-year-old had a good job at the University of Washington, but he was lonely. Like millions of people, he tried to find love online through a dating website.

"I was just looking for companionship and, you know," he says.

Mark hit it off with a woman from the Seattle area last fall.

"I felt like I was in love with her," he says. "She said all the right things online."

All the right things and some almost unbelievable things. She told him she had a lot of money from her parents who passed away.

She had many hardships in her life including suffering the loss of a baby who died just days after it was born due to a heart defect.

"She told me she was a cancer survivor and she also had a liver transplant and all this stuff," he says.

Mark became more sympathetic toward her when he learned her ex-husband had broken into her house, trashed the place, and was threatening her.

"Basically the story was, she had a hard time going back to that house because she feared for her life. She thought her ex would kill her, so she was staying with some friends," says Mark.

"We were getting more serious and I said, 'You need to be safe. If this guy is that crazy come live with me and we'll go from there.'"

Next came word that she was pregnant - with twins - followed by news that she had bladder cancer.

"I believed her," he says, shaking his head.

Mark was never able to go with her to any of her doctors' appointments. She always had reasons why she needed to go alone, or she became too upset and sick to go at all.

He quit his job, like she asked him to do, so he could take care of her. After all, money was not an issue.

At this point, most everyone reading this story is wondering, "Why did you fall for all of this?"

"I don't know why. I think at certain points I felt trapped," he says, trying to explain the past few months of his life.

"I didn't want to tell my parents everything because my mom's a worrier. I didn't want to bother them. I had no job. I had no source of money coming in. My money was dwindling down."

He also admits he was afraid of her.

"A little bit," Mark says. "I didn't think I could be manipulated like that but she had this kind of control I guess."

He started digging into her past and discovered several aliases, at least two other husbands, and a third guy online she was telling other stories too.

He confronted her a month ago.

"She became more violent and actually told me, 'You know I could stab you while you're asleep.'"

That was it. He knew he had to get out. He couldn't gather stuff up from his home because she would be suspicious. One morning he grabbed his wallet and car keys and told her he needed to get something from his vehicle.

He walked out and left everything behind.

While there are two sides to every story, details about the woman have been verified through contact with her parents - they're not dead - and police records.

No job, no money, he left Washington this week to move back to his home state to live with family.

Lessons learned the hard way.

"When you mix what you think is true love with sympathy of others this is what you get," he says. "I was vulnerable, meaning I was lonely and I wanted companionship. She just played all the right strings and I think next time I'll be more guarded on my emotions."

A background check isn't as "unromantic" as it once seemed.

Some states consider impersonating someone online illegal. Washington, California, Texas, and New York currently have laws on the books making it a crime.

Mark doesn't think he'll hear from the woman he says created an identity that was nothing more than a string of lies.

Recently he got a text, purportedly from someone who found the woman's phone after her sudden death. The man says her last wish was to let Mark know how much she loved him.

"Right," he says.

By LINDA THOMAS

More from Linda Thomas

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Comments (45)


  • Add A Comment

  • serzsa wrote...
    And I thought I had problems...
    January 21, 2013 6:47 pm
    .
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Chuck Gould wrote...
    Twisted sister
    January 21, 2013 6:53 pm
    An introduction might happen on line, but certainly not a relationship. The difference between "Mark" and the young man from Notre Dame is that there was at least an actual, physical woman involved. She wasn't who she said she was, (uhm, is that new, for either sex, exactly?) and she obviously had some serious issues. She was a real woman with an unreal story about an unreal past.

    The Notre Dame deal is a different situation. This kid "fell in love" with somebody who never existed, except in his own imagination. He was in love with the idea of being in love...the same mistake a lot of younger people make. The fact that his mystery woman was never actually available for a face-to-face would set off warning signals enough to put Independence Day to shame among more mature adults.

    Once much past "hello" and some initial spark of interest, it's time to meet the heart throb in the real world.

    As always, it's easy to dupe somebody if you can figure out what they desperately want. With young guys, the very short list of choices doesn't require a lot of imagination.

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • ron prevost wrote...
    deception happens all the time on line
    January 22, 2013 1:57 am
    Look at the William Lawn saga playing out here for the past few weeks.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • William Lawn wrote...
    Ron Flounder Prevost
    January 22, 2013 8:14 am
    You are just another FLOUNDER handle, aren't you?

    Admit it Flounder, you are CAUGHT!

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Jeddite wrote...
    OH FFS, "MARK"
    January 21, 2013 9:29 pm
    1) dead baby; 2) cancer survivor; 3) liver transplant; 4) abusive ex-; 5) pregnant; 6) more cancer. If "Mark" wasnt such a thundering moron desperate to play white knight because his hand couldnt suffice, he'd have seen through this obvious charade. How much more did she need to claim? 7) abducted by aliens? 8) held in a secret CIA prison by George W. Bush? 9) home destroyed in some "big name" hurricane? 10) in the WTC on September 11? 11) addicted to pain killers? HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW "MARK"
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • William Lawn wrote...
    Jeddite
    January 22, 2013 8:54 am
    She sounds like a typical woman in America these days. They're pretty much all like this; crazy and liars.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • alphaa wrote...
    online
    January 22, 2013 5:20 am
    This kind of story is why I have rules about online dating: no personal info until I've met them in person, 2 emails only, move to phone, ask out...if not progressing.....than buhbye!! Many people online seem to want the titillation of seeing if I Would date them but never make an effort to get beyond the computer. Public places only, keep info secure enough that they can't google you until you have met face to face...lonliness is a vunerability which has been used against people since the beginning of time.....
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • William Lawn wrote...
    alphaa
    January 22, 2013 8:19 am
    You must be one lonely man.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • waltergee wrote...
    agree
    January 22, 2013 8:46 pm
    agree
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Ted Bundi wrote...
    When the statment starts with..
    January 22, 2013 5:27 am
    ""I'm talking about my..." that's when you lose me.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • sportsguru wrote...
    What single man
    January 22, 2013 5:48 am

    hasn't experience lonliness at some point in there single life? This guy was just a straight up sucker,ha,ha,ha. I tried the online dating before I got married and it was a nightmare that I would not do again if my life depended on it.

    Men acting like they are women, women sending pictures of themself from 30 years ago,lol, mad stalkers beeooches, fat women posting pictures of there younger sister, strippers, prostitutes, I mean it goes on and on and on, but I would never give up my livihood to be with some online chick that I have only a connection to over the internet only?

    This guy was a retard of the first degree.

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • William Lawn wrote...
    sportsguru
    January 22, 2013 8:15 am
    You need to get out. It sounds like you have the craigslist dating cycle down pat. ALL you will find on there are women that are in FLOUNDER the FATTY's league.

    You are SO much better than FLOUNDER the FATTY FAT FATFACE!

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Newton wrote...
    Sheriffs all across the Country pledge.
    January 22, 2013 5:49 am
    To uphold the Second Admendment like they were sworn to do. Stand up Sheriffs to stop this Lawless President. Second Admendment is Not to be Infringed upon. What part of that written Constitutional law of United States second amendment does he not understand.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Chuck Gould wrote...
    What does gun control have to do with.....
    January 22, 2013 7:05 am
    this topic?
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • monkeyal wrote...
    News reports have stories of people who have analyzed and parsed the words of
    January 22, 2013 5:59 am
    one of his books and concluded that he included a 'composite girlfriend'. A fictionalized person that really was a collection of several different women. Maybe we have a new name for Prez44. Just call him "Mark Manti" Obama.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • shark75 wrote...
    There's an old saying:
    January 22, 2013 6:55 am
    "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is." For the idiots, we should revise that to say the exact same thing, except omit "probably"....
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Oly80 wrote...
    that's a really good point, shark...
    January 22, 2013 11:12 am
    "probably" totally throws idiots off.

    to them, it means "in every OTHER CASE, but not mine."

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • 42blueyes wrote...
    Judge not?
    January 22, 2013 6:58 am
    Well I guess we all are the smart ones or are we? I think most comments are from the ones who have never made mistakes in life that make you feel humilated. I have alittle humility knowing that there are good people who are caring and compasionate that get sucked in at one time or another. I feel for MARK cause he has done what alot of humans do when they are at a vunerable state of mind, care and console someone you think you can trust. It can happen to the best of us.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • waltergee wrote...
    frustrating
    January 22, 2013 8:48 pm
    It gets frustrating when someone ca't see what is so clear
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }