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Linda Thomas
twitter: @TheNewsChick
About Linda
Linda is the morning news anchor and features reporter for KIRO Radio. This is her local news blog, with an emphasis on social media, technology, Northwest companies, education, parenting, and anything else that grabs her attention.

If you have a news tip or story idea, I'd love to hear from you...

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A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances. Some states, including Washington, consider impersonating someone online illegal. Sometimes the online deception continues in real life, and that can be more devastating as a Seattle man found out recently.

Catfish meets Fatal Attraction for a Seattle man duped online

How could it possibly happen?

Notre Dame football star, and Heisman Trophy runner-up, Manti Te'o says he was tricked into believing an online romance was real. An acquaintance was pretending to be the woman he poured his heart out to on the phone and online. He'll talk about the deception in an interview Thursday with Katie Couric.

While there are those who doubt Te'o was an innocent victim of an elaborate hoax, others know this kind of thing happens all the time.

"I'm talking about my embarrassing situation, hoping I can alert other guys who could be victims," says Mark. "I was duped."

I've changed the name in this story to protect a local man who has already been through enough humiliation. I'm calling him Mark.

The 39-year-old had a good job at the University of Washington, but he was lonely. Like millions of people, he tried to find love online through a dating website.

"I was just looking for companionship and, you know," he says.

Mark hit it off with a woman from the Seattle area last fall.

"I felt like I was in love with her," he says. "She said all the right things online."

All the right things and some almost unbelievable things. She told him she had a lot of money from her parents who passed away.

She had many hardships in her life including suffering the loss of a baby who died just days after it was born due to a heart defect.

"She told me she was a cancer survivor and she also had a liver transplant and all this stuff," he says.

Mark became more sympathetic toward her when he learned her ex-husband had broken into her house, trashed the place, and was threatening her.

"Basically the story was, she had a hard time going back to that house because she feared for her life. She thought her ex would kill her, so she was staying with some friends," says Mark.

"We were getting more serious and I said, 'You need to be safe. If this guy is that crazy come live with me and we'll go from there.'"

Next came word that she was pregnant - with twins - followed by news that she had bladder cancer.

"I believed her," he says, shaking his head.

Mark was never able to go with her to any of her doctors' appointments. She always had reasons why she needed to go alone, or she became too upset and sick to go at all.

He quit his job, like she asked him to do, so he could take care of her. After all, money was not an issue.

At this point, most everyone reading this story is wondering, "Why did you fall for all of this?"

"I don't know why. I think at certain points I felt trapped," he says, trying to explain the past few months of his life.

"I didn't want to tell my parents everything because my mom's a worrier. I didn't want to bother them. I had no job. I had no source of money coming in. My money was dwindling down."

He also admits he was afraid of her.

"A little bit," Mark says. "I didn't think I could be manipulated like that but she had this kind of control I guess."

He started digging into her past and discovered several aliases, at least two other husbands, and a third guy online she was telling other stories too.

He confronted her a month ago.

"She became more violent and actually told me, 'You know I could stab you while you're asleep.'"

That was it. He knew he had to get out. He couldn't gather stuff up from his home because she would be suspicious. One morning he grabbed his wallet and car keys and told her he needed to get something from his vehicle.

He walked out and left everything behind.

While there are two sides to every story, details about the woman have been verified through contact with her parents - they're not dead - and police records.

No job, no money, he left Washington this week to move back to his home state to live with family.

Lessons learned the hard way.

"When you mix what you think is true love with sympathy of others this is what you get," he says. "I was vulnerable, meaning I was lonely and I wanted companionship. She just played all the right strings and I think next time I'll be more guarded on my emotions."

A background check isn't as "unromantic" as it once seemed.

Some states consider impersonating someone online illegal. Washington, California, Texas, and New York currently have laws on the books making it a crime.

Mark doesn't think he'll hear from the woman he says created an identity that was nothing more than a string of lies.

Recently he got a text, purportedly from someone who found the woman's phone after her sudden death. The man says her last wish was to let Mark know how much she loved him.

"Right," he says.

By LINDA THOMAS


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Comments (45)


  • Add A Comment

  • CH wrote...
    ron prevost wrote...
    "Look at the William Lawn saga playing out here for the past few weeks. " You stepped in it Ron. You now are on BLAWN official list! Welcome aboard!
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • William Lawn wrote...
    CH
    Yay, a new ally in our quest to stamp out FLOUNDERs.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • boyerbl wrote...
    Next door to Bill Gates
    Before I meet my wonderful wife (online) I used to tell women I met in chat rooms that I lived next door to Bill Gates (Bothell). You would instantly see the gold diggers PMing me. Actually I found honesty and a good BS story meter is the best policy when hooking up online. I would listen to their stories and take notes to refer too at a later date.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • CH wrote...
    Yay, a new ally in our quest to stamp out FLOUNDERs. wrong -
    Yay, a new ally in our quest to stamp "ON" FLOUNDERs! Sorry LT this is where the flounders hung out! Right BL? This CH signing out! Over and out. Gone, out of here. The end. See ya. By BY. Until we ne again. Don't put off today what you could do yesterday.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Cbrew wrote...
    When i was a younger man, 17 years old...
    I believe i was duped by someone online, nothing this tragic or crazy. I talked to a woman online who claimed to be my age and was a very interesting person to talk to, i spoke with her on the phone and online for months, we developed a relationship but when I told her I needed to meet her face to face she didn't show, that was the end of it for me. I'll never know why or understand what the point was of carrying on over the internet but never being willing to meet face to face, but the bottom line is, You can't really get in too deep of a relationship if you never meet the person or at least i couldn't... I guess the moral of the story is, meeting people online is fine, it's not the 1900's anymore, we live in the digital age but just like in the real world, people may not be who they say they are or who they lead you to believe(ask my ex wife), you can't just take people at their word, trust is earned, hopefully with the recent major news stories about Manti Te'o and all, people who may be in these types of situations will open their eyes, if someone you met online and developed a bond with doesn't want to meet you or comes up with stories for why they can't meet you, you should immediately see a red flag fly up and you should question who you're really talking to.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Oly80 wrote...
    Linda, your story is kinda what this is about...
    here's a REAL example, though:

    in college (earl 2000's) my dorm room friends and i would chat online with, well, chicks from all over.

    one in particular became a favorite of ours. he was a shy guy and i had a girlfriend (now my wife), so i pushed the conversation and got us on good, friendly terms.

    something was wrong, though.

    the girl in the picture she sent us was REALLY cute. but, not crazy out of control, so we just moved on thinking, "cool, a cute chick chats with us." she was cool, funny, all that stuff.

    NOW, my dormmate decided to get a webcame and all that good stuff so we could video chat with her. SHE said that her internet wasn't that fast and it would be a waste of money and time. okay, fine. we thought.

    at this point i wasn't talking/chatting with her very much, other than just saying hi. my FRIEND, though, kept talking to her regularly.

    it came to pass that my friend ended up calling me over the summer when i was back home from school and told me this story: (you can probably guess what happened...)

    SHOCKER!!! it wasn't her in the picture.

    turns out my friend had really fallen for this girl and they had actually continued dating over the internet the last part of spring quarter AND into the summer.

    one day he was really pressing her to send him another picture, and get a webcame so he could SEE her in real time and he caught her. he went on to find that the picture was of a friend of hers, that she, well, didn't look like her friend, and that he'd be lied to this whole time.

    now, in true romantic movie style, they ended up staying together and even got married. but, THAT'S more like what i thought this article would be like. not a dude who met a chick AND physically started dating her and she just turned out to be crazy.

    just thought i'd share...

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • bmaddy wrote...
    Geezus
    Sucker born every minute! This guy should try Christine Mingle or Adultfriendfinder
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • 42blueyes wrote...
    WHAT!
    I think some people are missing points in this story. He met her, dated and she moved in with him. This was not a continued internet conversation, they started a life together and he was tricked. Moral of the story our world is full of sociopaths who are very good liars and can convince even a lie detector that its all true. I have read of these cases and they can be dangerous as well as cunning. They believe their own stories and have had some professionals fooled from day one. Anyone can be tricked, I bet even some of you SMART people won't admit it.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • boyerbl wrote...
    The new name for being Catfish'd
    The new term for being Catfished is now: "I was Te'o-ed"
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • lisaj wrote...
    Grammar stickler here....
    ...her parents were (allegedly) killed in AN accident, not A accident. Linda usually articulates very well and sounds very professional, but that just threw off the story for me.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • TheNewsChick wrote...
    Thanks for sharing here and through email
    A lot of sad stories from people through email today and mentions here of situations where "smart" people were tricked into believing the best in people, only to find the worst. Might do a follow up. And a behind-the-curtains note to LisaJ...I heard that too in the audio piece. I don't know why I said "a" but it stopped me to. Couldn't edit it today because I had to run out for a story, but I'll fix it tomorrow. Grammar is both beautiful, and a curse!
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • soo purletiv wrote...
    @ TheNewsChick
    Please, what ever you do, don't let the "college educated" Oly80 do ANY of your editing.

    Not only is he full of XXXX, his supposed "college education" failed him and his parents miserably...

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Oly80 wrote...
    HANG ON.
    soo...

    what's with the attack!? i didn't say ANYTHING to you.

    i commented ONLY ON THE ARTICLE and SHARED MY STORY.

    what's your problem? have i shut you down too many times? if so, GROW UP and take your lumps like an ADULT. wow.

    to say i'm full of "XXXX" is a LAUGH, PROVE when you've found me being in the WRONG. THEN you can talk.

    till then, keep the trolling attacks to yourself.

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Oly80 wrote...
    btw...
    my guess is that you're just another AJ McLawn alias.

    if only this site would actually GET RID of the people who operate several characters at once and actually do some serious monitoring of the users.

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • gomariners wrote...
    It happens
    Drama like this is not uncommon. A few years ago a young guy (17) was killed by a jealous older, married man after they both were "in love" with (screen name) Tall, hot, blonde... the catch was the tall, hot, blonde was an older married woman that was using pictures of her very pretty daughter to create on online life. Search "Tall, hot, blonde" for info. None of them ever met (obviously) yet the older guy KILLED his competition! Crazy.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
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