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 Linda Thomas
twitter: @TheNewsChick
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Linda is the morning news anchor and features reporter for KIRO Radio. This is her local news blog, with an emphasis on social media, technology, Northwest companies, education, parenting, and anything else that grabs her attention.

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Megan.jpg
Before Manti Te'o, the most well known catfish victim was Nev Schulman. He produced a documentary about his experience of falling in love with this woman Megan. Except the person he eventually met was an older woman, and wasn't anything like she described herself to be. (Image courtesy Catfish/Relativity Media)

Why deceive online? 'It's fun to mess with people's heads'

January 24, 2013 @ 5:47 pm (Updated: 6:57 am - 1/25/13 )

Notre Dame football star Manti Te'o told Katie Couric, and the world, he thought he was having a romantic relationship with a woman on the phone and online. Turns out it was a dude, tricking him.

Ronaiah Tuiasosopo has a high voice and could be mistaken for a female since the two never met.

It's easier for me to understand how Te'o was duped, than it is to understand why someone would set out to deceive another person in such a cruel way.

"I don't know why I started doing it initially. Now I do it because it's fun to mess with people's heads and men are easy to deceive," says Amy, who is behind at least two dozen deceptive online relationships. "It's really fun."

The 24-year-old from Kirkland sent me a Facebook message after I wrote about "Mark" in the story Catfish meets Fatal Attraction for a Seattle man duped online. She wasn't involved with Mark, but she says "people like him make it easy for me to do what I do."

I asked her to explain what she does and why. Here's her response, which may or may not be true since deception is her hobby.

Men are stupid. They really are. They look at my pictures on Facebook and they fall in love with an image. If they wouldn't be so shallow in the first place none of this would happen.

I had a real Facebook page initially and never got any attention from other guys in school. As soon as I changed the picture to some girl in Florida I don't know the same (edited word) bags who ignored me in school would text and FB me all the time.

Once in college I met one of the guys on the other end and he was turned off by my appearance. The same guy who said he wanted to marry me because I made him happy literally ran the other direction. I'm not that bad looking, but I am a little overweight.

Anyway, now I do it because it's my way of teaching guys lessons that they shouldn't judge someone superficially. I won't ever meet the people I'm carrying on with online. They fall for all my excuses of why I can't meet them in person. If they get too suspicious to be worth the effort, I dump them and move on.

I don't feel worse about myself that I do this. I feel better every time I check my email and FB and phone and have messages.

People who are catfish - a person who pretends to be someone they're not particularly to pursue online romances - have issues.

Before Te'o, the most well known catfish victim was Nev Schulman. He produced a documentary about his experience of falling in love with someone who wasn't anything like she described herself to be.

He now has an MTV series introducing viewers to the people on both sides of online identity hoaxes, provides insight into why they do what they do.

Schulman says there are generally five reasons: Revenge; Homophobia: Addicted to attention; Sexual-identity anxiety; Low self esteem.

By LINDA THOMAS

More from Linda Thomas

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Comments (39)


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  • Fuego wrote...
    The old saying
    January 25, 2013 4:57 am
    What comes around, goes around certainly applies here.
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  • jstumbo wrote...
    I bet the girl in the article...
    January 25, 2013 5:26 am
    falls into the "low self esteem" category. Obviously she is fat, but sees it as "a little overweight". She basically cannot get a date because she is fat and probably ugly and her personality is not enough to make up for it, so she has decided to screw around with guys heads as some kind of revenge on males everywhere.
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  • serzsa wrote...
    As well she might be
    January 25, 2013 5:44 am
    but I tend to agree with the first paragraph she wrote.
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  • chellesbelles wrote...
    @jstumbo
    January 25, 2013 8:15 am
    I was going to say the same thing. She'd better watch out, though because if someone does figure out who she is and WHERE she is, she may find herself dead in a park somewhere for screwing with someone's emotions like that. Just sayin'...
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  • Forrest wrote...
    Linda,
    January 25, 2013 6:28 am
    I know you read your blog. Perhaps you should consider the traits of "addicted to attention" and "low self esteem" the next time you respond to some of AJ's blather or vitriol. Don't feed the beast.
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  • mnpat wrote...
    "Perhaps you should consider the traits of "addicted to attention" and "low self esteem"
    January 25, 2013 6:58 am
    Tends to be most women, the real question is why.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • PNWflowergirl wrote...
    REALLY?
    January 25, 2013 10:11 am
    mnpat: "addicted to attention" and "low self esteem" are traits of most women? IGNORANT, just IGNORANT.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • TheNewsChick wrote...
    Forrest
    January 27, 2013 7:06 am
    I hear ya. I really do. I've had a public blog of some sort since 2006 and I know not to feed the trolls.

    I have a slightly different take on people who read my stories or comment here (I'll never call them trolls, btw.)

    Do I cringe when I read some/many of the comments? Absolutely. Yet I still support people's right to say what they'd like. I want to try to understand where people are coming from despite the tone they take.

    I don't respond to every comment, but when I see that someone's addressing me directly, I'll generally respond.

    I've seen discussions deteriorate here rapidly, but I've also seen fascinating conversations between readers.

    All that said, sometimes I feel like Sheriff Woody in Toy Story 2, wanting to tell the Sids of the world to "Play nice!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkGbvL4shFo

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  • Scoutem wrote...
    Shallow
    January 25, 2013 7:31 am
    This quote always rubs me the wrong way. Yes ladies men are visual creatures. Therefor the better you look the more you will most likely catch someones eye. That being said, I also see many a average guy with a average girl etc.. What bugs me is personally if I keep myself in good shape and outdoor activity, sports etc are important to me. Why is it wrong to want a partner that has the same interests or can participate? That her body and or appearance is important to her? I have had a few break ups because who I was with had gotten "lazy" because of weight gain. Or they became much more interested in wine parties and the Oxygen network. Which caused said weight gain. Why should a guy or girl just be ok with this? If not automatically be "shallow".
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  • anotherfencewalker wrote...
    A real comedian..
    January 25, 2013 7:34 am
    Kids target an individual for ridicule and hilarity because they think it's "funny". Nothing new..it's am age old practice from generation to generation. BUT bring today's technology into the picture and it takes on an entirely different tone. Tweets, email, blogs, Facebook etc brings this third rate funny stuff to the individual at high speed. It never falls off and sticks with that person forever, not to mention it spreads to a bigger audience than was intended. No secrets on the internet. I believe its referred to as "going viral". The media is just as guilty of cultivating this new crop of so-called news. They cover it up by tagging it as an idiotic human interest or entertainment piece. The rest of us call it gossip. And how much does Katie, oprah and the rest get paid for "investigating" this kind of a news bit?
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  • Burn_Notice wrote...
    She is correct.. kinda
    January 25, 2013 7:37 am
    Messing with the heads of "guys" is easy to do but the same can be said for either sex as manipulating people through lies and deception have been around for eons. The question I ask is how sad of a life she must have to spend so much time at screwing with others and gaining pleasure from it. I suggest she spend less time on the social wire trolling for needy susceptible dopes to run her game on and she put down the doughnut, go to the gym and shed those extra 80lbs she is packing around that make her so unattractive to men.

    She changed her facebook page and went to some lengths to create this fake persona. I believe there are some serious psychological issues at play with her. As I see it, the most unattractive thing about her is probably not even her looks; it is her evil crappy hidden personality that make her repulsive.

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  • Cbrew wrote...
    I like how she automatically blamed that guy.....
    January 25, 2013 8:18 am
    that ran the other way... on her weight and appearance... instead of thinking it may have had something to do with the fact that absolutely lied to him and was absolutely not the person she said she was online... Why jump to the conclusion that he ran the other way because of her appearance? That's self esteem problems right there, if she was introspective at all she should realize that there is a great chance he ran the other way because he just found out somebody he was supposed to be able to trust was a complete liar and a fraud. This chick does indeed have issues. She's taking out her revenge for what guys in highschool and college did to her on guys who she never met... That's definitely what i'd call issues. It's a power move, from what i can see, she wants to be in control and be the one to reject the other person... to control the relationship entirely... You can see it in her comments "it's easy to dupe men" she's very angry at Men for having in her mind "duped" her. She enjoys this because instead of being the victim she's flipped the roles and now some men are her victims... a lot going on here... this lady should seek help. It's obvious to me she can't stand being herself and is more comfortable being a character she created online.
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  • 0623 wrote...
    "It's fun, messing with people's heads"
    January 25, 2013 8:31 am
    The previous comments are incomprehensible, as is this woman's basic position. She has revealed an outrageous personality who enjoys hurting people. Others seem to be trying to make excuses for her. What she weighs has little to do with her "hobby"--except as a possible complicating factor in her hateful personality. There is too much of that out there--on the internet, on the highways, in Congress, even in religious groups. Happy up!, people. America is going down the tube, thanks to your chronic rage.
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  • Cbrew wrote...
    0623 - I don't think people are making excuses for her....
    January 25, 2013 8:34 am
    I think they're trying to understand how she is rationalizing what she finds as a "hobby". I doubt anybody condones her behaviour, on the contrary most are pretty disturbed by her idea of a "hobby". We just realize that normal people wouldn't do this so we try to figure out why a person would go and do this sort of thing. I completely agree that she's a messed up human being... she has personality issues like crazy and her "hobby" is basically hurting people... I think most just want to understand why.
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  • PNWflowergirl wrote...
    seriously ....
    January 25, 2013 9:12 am
    This "Megan" needs help, period. However, I have tried the online dating thing, and it isnt just "Megan" playing games. There were plenty of men, sending pics that look nothing like who they are in real life. Even with that said, I met one particular man, looked EXACTLY like his pic, and after dating a while, turned out to be an abusive alcoholic. What gives? Who knows. Im just going to stick to being happy with the single life, rather than dealing with certain people and their psychosis! Just sayin!
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  • Theodorethegreat wrote...
    Dating online is
    January 25, 2013 10:17 am
    a risk. If you go more than a short period of time without meeting in person, you are a moron. If the person goes psycho after meeting and or dating, that is life. Anyone getting "catfished" deserves it.
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