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 Linda Thomas
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father-daughter-dance.jpg
Father-daughter dances are a sweet tradition in many areas, though last fall a school in Rhode Island banned their annual dance. What are your experiences with daddy-daughter dances? (AP photo)

Awkward moments at local school's daddy-daughter dance

March 21, 2013 @ 6:33 pm (Updated: 10:34 am - 3/22/13 )

It's a sweet tradition in many area schools. Young ladies have a moment of bonding with that special man in their lives through daddy-daughter dances.

A Maple Valley father, who didn't want me to use his name, went to a Tahoma School District dance last weekend with his daughters who are in fifth, seventh and ninth grades.

The girls were dressed up, the dads cleaned up pretty well too. Everyone was having a great time dancing to pop tunes including the Bruno Mars song "Locked out of Heaven."

"Cause your sex takes me to paradise, Yeah your sex takes me to paradise And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause you make feel like, I've been locked out of heaven, for too long, for too long"

"I don't think the kids even pay attention to the lyrics, but when that song came on some of the dads just looked at each other," the KIRO listener says. "We tried to ignore it too."

There were a few other songs that seemed too sexual for a dad-daughter school dance, he says, including Lady Gaga's "Love Machine."

"I'm just a love machine, feeding my fantasy Give me a kiss or three and I'm fine I need a squeeze a day 'stead of this negligee What will the neighbors say this time?"

"At that point the other dads were laughing and started dancing with each other," he says.

He doesn't want to make a big deal out of the music selections because overall the Tahoma School District's dance was a positive experience.

Men in families and communities don't always get the recognition they deserve, this event strengthens bonds.

Last fall, the school system in Cranston, Rhode Island ended their traditional father-daughter and mother-son activities, saying they are a violation of the state's gender discrimination law.

In that case, the American Civil Liberties Union sued on behalf of a single mother who said her daughter was not able to attend a father-daughter dance.

We didn't have school-sponsored father-daughter dance when I was growing up, but some of my favorite memories are of doing the polka and schottische with my dad at family wedding dances.

I haven't thought about that in years. I clearly remember how fast we'd swing around the dance floor in Spillville, Iowa. He was my hero then, and still is today.

Dads, do something fun with your daughters this weekend. She'll remember decades from now and smile.

By LINDA THOMAS

More from Linda Thomas

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Comments (45)


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  • ron prevost wrote...
    In another story today, a parent / honor student event was cancelled because it might make the kesser achievers feel bad.
    March 21, 2013 7:08 pm
    Too bad Rhode Island, the ACLU and too many others think we need to be all inclusive or nothing at all. .... But, to placate the few, we deprive the many - or the achievers - or all who, Like Linda, stood to have their lives enriched. ... After all, it can't be fun if someone, somewhere MIGHT take offence.

    BTW - Yes, whoever picked out that music should at least be re-vetted by the school district. Could be an ignorant mistake, but.............

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • messiah101 wrote...
    ron p,The ACLU deserves NO blame
    March 22, 2013 7:55 am
    The politicians wrote the law not the ACLU.The ACLU simply notified the District that they were breaking that law.The District agreed.Of course a child without a Father would feel left out(and kids can be cruel about another child being excluded) and arrangements should be made to ensure that does not happen. And as far as the music played at the dance goes ,is that music played of the radio?If it is are you asking for it to be played only after the Kiddies have gone to bed?
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  • Idocalex wrote...
    Understood Messiah....
    March 22, 2013 8:30 am
    but I have been in the car listening to the radio, or watching the superbowl on tv with my young kids...and if some age inappropriate comes on like a commercial for some horror movie I can change the channel. At a dance you're kinda stuck...I would hope they would be more sensitve to the audience. On Mother's Day, my mom and I went to my son's school for lunch because my wife was out of town for a family emergency. The schools allow alternate arrangements. I am sure they would let the single mom or same sex moms/dads go to a dance to build memories don't you think? Especially these days when the traditional family is becoming more rare I think kids understand better than we might think.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • ron prevost wrote...
    Obviously you've read the post differently, messiah.
    March 22, 2013 8:31 am
    What I got was that the music was selected for the dance - either by the school or by some DJ. Unless that's another 'sequester' cut, I don't think a school would actually try to save money by simply flipping on the radio.

    .

    And EVERY child is with or without something most others have. Should we eliminate High School track because some can't walk? ... No dogs at home because some are allergic to the smell on another kid's jeans? .... And I kind of suspect a kid without a father (or mother) has already figured that out and has learned or is learning to deal with it.

    Has anyone ever thought that to cancel an event BECAUSE of one kid causes resentment - and therefor is anything but empowering. ???

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  • messiah101 wrote...
    ron p
    March 22, 2013 9:00 am
    My main purpose of my reply to you was not for the music played but for you attempting to put blame on the ACLU for asking the school district to follow the LAW.The ACLU did not install the law or lobby for the law they simply sounded the alarm that the law maybe broken if the function took place.I find it unbelievable that folks like you who attack the ACLU cannot understand the valuable service they provide.Rightys set new standards for knee jerk reactions to ACLU cases
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  • ron prevost wrote...
    Subtel clue, messiah. .. If someone is breaking the law, you don't SUE them - you bring charges.
    March 22, 2013 9:28 am
    And I am all for civil liberties, but too often the ACLU goes out of its was not to enhance the liberties of either the many or the few, but to curtail the liberties of everyone.

    And, BTW, messiah. With marriage equality now are the schools to eliminate all other events like 'mommy and me' because some kid may have two 'dads' ???

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  • ron prevost wrote...
    Oh, and this supposid NJ Law ?
    March 22, 2013 10:22 am
    Does that also mean the schools can no longer recognize Mothers Day? Just in case, you know.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • messiah101 wrote...
    ron p
    March 22, 2013 11:20 am
    If you research the story a bit deeper the ACLU did not sue they called and informed the district of the law.And in your last paragraph your question shows me you did not read what I have written before on this topic ,the events like "mommy and me" should be cancelled IF the law says they are illegal.Why would you ever believe having them would be OK IF an existing law stated they were Wrong?
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  • ron prevost wrote...
    If that's the case, messiah, you should call Linda/News Chick.
    March 22, 2013 12:12 pm
    Note the original story states the ACLC .."sued on behalf of a single mother..". ... It's not MY job to confirm everything reported in a KIRO blog - or in YOUR prior posts.

    .

    But, has it ever occurred to you that every weird law passed by your 'progressive' friends just might NOT be 'wrong' ? ..... That's something I have commented on more than once. The left seems to think they can pass just about ANY law - even if they 99% believe its unconstitutional - because it either might slip by the courts or, going through the 9th Circ. Court, be in effect for at least a year or two before being thrown out. ... Too bad for your buddy Bloomberg with the court blocking his nanny coke law even before it could go into effect.

    There IS this other idea that constitutionality (and common sense) should be considered, but that's not the progressive way of doing things.

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  • The King's Son wrote...
    They do deserve blame...
    March 22, 2013 8:32 am
    No self-respecting law firm or attorney would take a case like that. They are in it to make headlines and cash. The ACLU is consistently on the wrong side of morality and this is just one of countless examples of them upholding a false sense of piety and fairness in opposition to common sense and intelligence everywhere.
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  • messiah101 wrote...
    King
    March 22, 2013 9:07 am
    The ACLU makes no laws.How do you arrive at your point of view when the ACLU expects existing laws to be enforced?Laws are not put on the books for 99 of 100 they are put on the books foe everyone to follow.The GUT feeling morality that you apparently run your life on is often found wrong when looked at through the legal microscope. And after all we are a nation of laws aren't we?
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  • The King's Son wrote...
    It sounds nice...
    March 25, 2013 8:37 am
    when you put it that way. But what they are actually trying to do is expand the sovreignty of existing laws. I guarentee that the laws in question in this case were never passed with a stupid case like this in mind. The ACLU takes advantage of an imperfect legal system created by fallible people to their own gain.
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  • Ontos wrote...
    Too bad you were a life-long kesser achiever
    March 22, 2013 7:56 am
    And you find enrichment only in Dori's latest rant.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • ron prevost wrote...
    TYPO, Typo, typo
    March 22, 2013 8:16 am
    I must be a Lesser achieving keyboard typist.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Skykomish2 wrote...
    Political Correctness
    March 22, 2013 6:05 am
    OK, maybe at one time we were too far on the politically UNcorrect scale. But we've swung too far the other way. Its time to get back to a state of reality.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • messiah101 wrote...
    Skykomish, Reality?
    March 22, 2013 9:10 am
    In this case as with most "REALITY" is the law.It has nothing to do with political correctness.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • CH wrote...
    let's see
    March 22, 2013 6:45 am
    Dori's clip. Dori dances at the Mariners game http://youtu.be/JStlwyScjbs If you want ham for Easter this is the ticket!!
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  • TheNewsChick wrote...
    CH
    March 22, 2013 6:54 am
    Dori might have a different take on this. I'm generally not easily outraged, especially since the dad I talked to thought this was funny more than anything.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • mnpat wrote...
    "Men in families and communities don't always get the recognition they deserve, this event strengthens bonds. "
    March 22, 2013 8:06 am
    Ya think? Due to the feminist that feel every man is a child raper/wife beater/mom killer....and of course the only thing most men are good for according to the courts is child support....it's nice to see someone out there giving a little kudos. It would be nice someday to see woman allow men to be a art of the children's lives.
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  • messiah101 wrote...
    mnpat ,Your whine on this issue is quit
    March 22, 2013 9:16 am
    Unmanly.Do you have a level of estrogen so high that you require appreciation?How you arrived at the point that you believe feminists feel that every man is a child raper/wife beater/mom killer shows your true ignorance.Tell us mnpatjust how far behind are you on your child support?
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • mnpat wrote...
    messiah101,
    March 22, 2013 10:20 am
    Not behind at all, in fact I raised my children on my own without child support, waiting for the states to see the light and change the way they do bussiness in family law courts across the land....any other questions you want answered while we are at it.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • messiah101 wrote...
    mnpat.Matter of fact I do
    March 22, 2013 11:25 am
    I asked you in my post about how you arrived on your position on feminists and you chose to ignore it.It also sounds as if you had marital problems in the past but did not get court ordered child support is that correct?
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • mnpat wrote...
    messiah101
    March 22, 2013 11:53 am
    Feminist in general feel entitled, I disagree with the entitlement frame of mind. Women by law are granted more federal or state protection (by law) that benefit their gender....those that are married are given 1200+ laws and benifits granted by way of a marriage certificates, single people have much less protection by law. Family law courts by using the 1920's "Tender Years Doctrune" have furthered the fostering of one gender over another, media has and political correctness has also perpetuated the victim society and war on women ........."businessWeek story, entitled "The Unmarried Penalty" describes how "86 million adults in Unmarried America -- making up about half of all households, 42 percent of employees, and 35 percent of voters -- face big 'unmarried' disadvantages," such as: fewer job benefits, higher unemployment, lower pay, higher taxes, lower social security and unemployment benefits, fewer estate tax breaks, and higher auto insurance rates.".........so m-101, my disagreement regarding feminism and gay benefits and marriage benefits are because these same benefits enjoyed by those parties supersedes those that aren't married, gay/lesbian/transgendered or a woman. I'm very familiar with the fact that most liberals agree with the victim society aspect but I do not.
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  • messiah101 wrote...
    mnpat
    March 22, 2013 1:48 pm
    You seemed to have missed what the entire Feminist movement was about.WOW!
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Ontos wrote...
    Maybe this would be more palatable
    March 22, 2013 8:15 am
    If we simply hung a "closed for easter" sign on it.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • CH wrote...
    Linda ask him
    March 22, 2013 8:26 am
    get his view on your story. We would love to know. Bet he has a clip.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • gaymarriedchristianfromhollywood wrote...
    I am so fed up with fake outrage on both sides.
    March 22, 2013 8:44 am
    When did we become a nation of weenies? I don't know if it's the internet or Dori Monson, but everything lately gives everybody the vapors. It's like nobody can function anymore without being outraged over the most trivial things.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • hpygolkyone wrote...
    One Word.........
    March 22, 2013 8:48 am
    ......AMEN.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Oly80 wrote...
    uh, g.m.c.f.h...
    March 22, 2013 9:16 am
    nailed it.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • messiah101 wrote...
    gaymarried
    March 22, 2013 9:22 am
    The fact is most people are not outraged.Although the media loves to promote the idea that they are.They constantly feed the fire by injecting topics like gay marriage,abortion,gun control,taxes and,child molestors, into our daily diet of propaganda.If they have no stories they invent them by only giving you part of the facts,just enough to get you to say to yourself,Gee that ain't right.Because if the entire story was given a reasonable person would say to themselves, I can see why that happened
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Ontos wrote...
    Dori
    March 22, 2013 9:47 am
    Makes a living off giving folks the heebie-jeebies about inconsequential stuff.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • SeattleNative wrote...
    Nobody is more "outraged"...
    March 22, 2013 10:42 am
    ...than the ACLU.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Citizen of Krazy Town wrote...
    Here's a great supporting example to my comment on R&D's blog about rape.
    March 22, 2013 9:48 am
    Don't for a second think that these lyrics are going in one ear and out another. The kids pick up on the lyrics better than adults, more often than not. And when those lyrics reinforce male sexual dominance over women and female pressure to "be sexy", it indoctrinates the kids into an established set of behaviors later on in life that primarily puts women at a disadvantage to men. It's good that those dads felt creeped out because if they really thought about how that activity and those songs impacted their daughters, they would be horrified.
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  • Oly80 wrote...
    spot on...
    March 22, 2013 11:04 am
    again, citizen!
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Ontos wrote...
    Maybe Dick in Bothell
    March 22, 2013 9:52 am
    will send a "DMail" in complaining about this too. Dori salivates.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • chubby wrote...
    I wonder . . .
    March 22, 2013 10:27 am
    how many times Anne Bremner drove drunk before she was finally caught. Ask her next time you have her on your show, Dori. Hypocrite! Oh wait, Dori says that people drive an average of 80 times before they are caught. And please, please, please start taking phone calls from listeners again. It is torture to listen to you banter with that pea brain producer, Jake. It's talk radio . . . the callers make the show!
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  • messiah101 wrote...
    chubby Let it go
    March 22, 2013 11:27 am
    Why not change the station and listen to someone else then Dori,after all its your choice.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • messiah101 wrote...
    chubby Remember this
    March 22, 2013 11:29 am
    The warning label says "if you have a chubby for more then 4 hrs see a Doctor immediatly
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • ron prevost wrote...
    LOL
    March 22, 2013 12:41 pm
    score one for the messiah !
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
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