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'Working moms despise themselves'April 15, 2012 @ 6:19 pm (Updated: 9:45 am - 4/16/12 )
The attacks on moms continue. Stay-at-home moms, working moms, we're apparently all messed up.
Stay-home moms were offended when CNN contributor and Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen said Ann Romney "never worked a day in her life ." She later apologized and tried to clarify her main point that Mitt and Ann Romney are out of touch with the economic realities most families face. Still, the damage was done, and moms felt like their choice to be a stay-at-home mom was viewed as being inferior to those who raise kids and work outside the home.
Now a slam against working moms comes from Fox News contributor Keith Ablow. He wrote a column attacking working women like Hilary Rosen and others who raise kids and hold down a job at the same time. He believes women who hold down a job and raise kids secretly "despise" themselves for not being at home. Here's a part of his column:
"These 'anti-gender' women have it in for anyone who embraces her femininity, maternal instincts and capacity to nurture as their highest priority - postponing or passing up other laudable opportunities to work at, say, a law firm or as a marketing executive. They despise the notion that some women may indeed be drawn, instinctively and happily, toward creating special and loving environments in which to raise their children, while spending all their available time sustaining and enriching those environments and those children.
They despise the parts of themselves that may be drawn to such roles, as well. That’s why women like Hilary Rosen make such outlandish statements, to begin with. They’re essentially talking to themselves, albeit, with the rest of the world forced to listen, trying to reassure themselves that their own choices in life weren’t only equally as good as those of other women, but better. Far, far better. They feel like their choices are better because they have thrown off the shackles of roles that were once expected of them, leaving them not only freer than, but superior to, those women who don’t feel enslaved at home, but feel fulfilled at home."
Ablow appeared on Fox News repeating his theory that "working women despise themselves."
Thank you so much media analysts who seek to enflame, rather than inform. I don't despise myself Mr. Ablow, but I'm not fond of men like you who come up with theories about moms - feeling fully qualified to do so because you've changed a few diapers along the way, so you "know what it's like."
I've been both a stay-home mom and a working mom. Both have their benefits and costs. There isn't a mom doing either role who hasn't second-guessed her decision at some point.
The internal dialogue goes something like this:
Working mom have it so easy. They get to spend all day on their own, talking to other adults, eating their lunch without a child hanging off of them. Their kids are going to turn out fine, and their careers aren't going to suffer.
Stay-at-home moms have it made. They get to spend all day with their children, witnessing every milestone as it happens rather than as reported by a nanny or day care provider. They can spend the day in the park, and wear comfy clothes all day.
No mom thinks her choice - assuming she has one, many of us don't feel like we do - is "far, far better." It just is what it is.
By LINDA THOMAS
AP Photo, Italian Member of the European Parliament Licia Ronzulli takes part in a vote as she cradles her baby.
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