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Linda Thomas
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Linda is the morning news anchor and features reporter for KIRO Radio. This is her local news blog, with an emphasis on social media, technology, Northwest companies, education, parenting, and anything else that grabs her attention.

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Beyond the boob, what's attachment parenting?

TimeTime magazine certainly has our attention.

When the magazine hits stands next week it'll be partially concealed. TV stations blurred it, radio talk hosts are weighing in, and thousands of comments are being posted online. All the fuss is about Time magazine's cover of a mom breastfeeding a three-year-old boy.

For a feature story about "attachment parenting," which is also called extreme parenting, the magazine photographed Adam Grumet with his mouth over the partly exposed breast of his mom, Jamie Lynn Grumet.

Time editors say the point of any magazine cover is to get the publics' attention. Oh, it has.

"I think is awesome. I am so tired of people condemning moms who nurse pass one. I plan to nurse my baby for as long as she wants."

"I don't have a problem with the cover picture, it's the 'are you mom enough' wording in the big headline that makes it offensive, as if you are not 'mom enough' if you don't breastfeed your three year old or practice attachment parenting."

"That is so weird. I breastfeed, and if I'm still doing it after a year (or 18mos tops) I will be pumping. If they are off a bottle, why would they still be on the boob? Put it in a cup. It's just for the mom's enjoyment at that point. I have a 3 year old and cannot imagine breastfeeding him. That's absurd. In this society it is wrong."

"How does her husband deal with this?"

Time2That's a sample of the comments on a moms' message board.

Most people are initially focusing on the shock value of the cover and making a judgment based on their own experiences - myself included. When KIRO's afternoon talk host Don O'Neill asked me about the issue on the Ron and Don Show, I told him I thought it was odd to breastfeed a pre-schooler.

Looking beyond the cover, what is attachment parenting?

Attachment parenting isn't new. People who are into this style of parenting tell me it's a return to the instinctual behaviors of our ancestors.

The version of attachment parenting Time writes about comes from Dr. William Sears, a pediatrician and the author or co-author of more than 30 parenting book.

Some of the values associated with attachment parenting include natural childbirth or home birth, stay-at-home parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding well past the first year, homeschooling, anti-circumcision movement, natural medicine and support of organic foods.

Here are the eight principals of this kind of parenting style:

1. Prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting. Proponents of attachment parenting believe it is important to eliminate negative thoughts and feelings about pregnancy. Doing so, they say, readies a mom for the emotionally demanding work of being a parent.

2. Feed with love and respect. Breastfeeding is the ideal way to create a secure attachment. It also teaches infants that parents will listen to their cues and fulfill their needs.

Time33. Respond with sensitivity. With attachment parenting, parents consider all expressions of emotions, including repeated tantrums, as real efforts at communication. Those efforts are to be taken seriously and understood rather than punished or dismissed.

4. Use nurturing touch. Attachment parenting advises maximum skin-to-skin touching. Ways to achieve that include joint baths and "baby-wearing" which is carrying babies during the day in a sling.

5. Engage in nighttime parenting. With co-sleeping, an infant sleeps in the same room with parents so they can feed and emotionally soothe the child during the night. Some parents sleep in the same bed with babies. It's thought that this creates an even more secure attachment.

6. Provide constant, loving care. Proponents of attachment parenting advise the nearly constant presence of a parent. That includes during walks, parents' night out, and work. They advocate against childcare for more than 20 hours a week for babies younger than 30 months old.

7. Practice positive discipline. Parents are advised to distract, redirect, and guide even the youngest of babies, and to model positive behavior. Attachment parenting aims at understanding what a child's negative behavior is communicating. Parents are encouraged to work out a solution together with a child, rather than spanking or simply imposing their will on children.

8. Strive for balance in personal and family life. Parents are encouraged to create a support network, live a healthy lifestyle, and prevent parenting burn-out.

The benefit? Dr. Sears and other supporters believe that a secure, trusting attachment to parents during childhood form the basis for secure relationships and independence as adults.

By LINDA THOMAS

Photos courtesy Time magazine: Jamie Lynne Grumet of Los Angeles and her son, age 3; Dionna Ford of Kansas City, Mo., and her children, ages 4 years and 5 months; Jessica Cary of Brooklyn and her daughter, age 3. See more photos here


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Comments (28)


  • Add A Comment

  • SickofSeattleite wrote...
    i breast fed my babies...
    but beyond 18 mo is gross....it's not 1820 anymore people, ever heard of soy milk?
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Milred wrote...
    Soy is not
    milk, it's juice.... Louis Black
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • TYR wrote...
    Don't you know...
    This 3 year old has caught the eye of some college football recruiters.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Cash wrote...
    Why
    Can't people just keep this private and to themselves? Do we really need to have ladies posing with their medium size child to make a point nobody really cares about anyway? Do what you want and move on...
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • True Believer wrote...
    Really?
    When the child has bigger feet than the mom, I think it's time to give up the boob! If the mom thinks it's so important for the child to have breast milk at an older age, maybe pumping would be best and he can drink it from a tippy cup?
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • sirhcdeer wrote...
    Values of attachement parenting...
    Interesting facets of the "attachement" crowd. I wonder if they also promote the "orgasmic birth" concept as well. wouldn't surprise me one bit. Like others have mentioned, breast feeding is great, but this just seems like a "in your face" social movement. Take it down a notch folks.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • boyerbl wrote...
    So if...
    So if this mother who wanted to nurse hher 3 year old son at work woulld any of her co-workers be liable if they objected?
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • boyerbl wrote...
    A poll...
    I did a poll at work and every one of my female co-workers found this grossly offensive (some of the men just smiled).
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • circuitfr wrote...
    wow
    I figured all the liberals and hippies in Seattle would be for this...funny how not....hypocrites.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • kata wrote...
    you keep using that word
    I do not think it means what you think it means.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • kata wrote...
    Lots of hype
    very little substance. As far as I know there isn't a single study that says that breastfeeding past 18mos is better (physically or emotionally) for a child that just simply staying home with them and seeing to it they get attention, gentle discipline and a healthy diet. Attachment parenting is a collection of common sense parenting ideas twisted into an extreme -- and of course the magazine picks the one aspect that is sure to sell issues. This just makes me think TIME magazine is getting desperate.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • zadoc wrote...
    A poll...
    Once a kid, especially a boy, is old enough to talk and to remember breastfeeding, well, I'm no shrink but I think that's going to cause him some problems later on. POLL: Your opinion on a 3 to 4 year old still breast feeding? Vote: http://www.wepolls.com/p/9521336
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Howdy wrote...
    It's not about nutrition
    It's about these women being attention seekers. And they're passing it on to the next generation.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }