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I tackled a naked man on Eastlake

The hiding place on Eastlake. (Zak Burns, KIRO Radio)

Part One:

I live in Eastlake. I love my neighborhood. I don’t think there is anywhere in Seattle I’d rather be. It’s safe, it’s beautiful, and I can walk to work.

So can my wife. She has done so hundreds of times. She has, to this point, walked unescorted, even at night. I have thought a couple of times that she should get some pepper spray, but those thoughts are normally fleeting. It’s a safe place.

After what happened a few weeks ago, I feel different. Hopefully, it’s a temporary feeling.

I was watching “Better Call Saul” when I got a frantic Facetime audio call from my clearly upset spouse. She was running and her voice was shaky. I leaped up.

I have to edit some of the language, but this is how the conversation went:

Me: Hi.

Her: (out of breath) Some guy is totally naked and wearing a mask and masturbating and he said that he wanted to lick my white *****.

Me: WHERE ARE YOU?

Her: Running towards the apartment.

I was downstairs in 15 seconds. I charged towards her and then towards the bushes where she said he was hiding. I called for him to come out. I was enraged and ready to, I’ll admit it, do him as much damage as I possibly could. Which, at my current state in that moment, probably would have been substantial.

He was gone. My wife and I stood there for a moment and then called 911. We didn’t think he could have gotten far. He was naked and wearing a mask, after all. People tend to notice things like that.

Unfortunately, he was gone by the time the cops arrived.

Later, after the report was filed, my wife assured me that she was OK. She’s tough. Understand that this man was four feet from her.

So I’m trying to not let this one isolated incident change my perception of Eastlake. But we had an attempted break-in just over a month ago. It’s getting harder. Yet, I don’t intend to move. I will continue to defend my neighborhood and Seattle as a whole. This stuff happens.

I just hate that it happened to her. So much. My anger is still right there. It will be there for a good while.

Part Two:

Flash forward to Monday night. Again, I was home watching “Better Call Saul.” I texted my wife and asked if she wanted me to come meet her. She said no and that she will be home in a few minutes.

A few minutes later, my phone rang. It’s Jessica. She was across the street from his hiding spot and could see him peering at her. He was naked. He was touching himself.

I sprinted downstairs and ran toward the area of bushes he shrouds himself in. I saw his silhouette. I, unfortunately, could see he was naked. I started screaming at him to stay where he was.

He started to run. This probably wasn’t the smartest decision, but I tackled him onto the sidewalk.
I am on top of a naked pervert and doing everything I can to detain him. He fought back; he tried to bite me. He tried to bribe me, which I, admittedly, found amusing.

Jessica called 911. For six minutes, I had to make sure he didn’t go anywhere. Then the cops arrived and put him in cuffs. We gave our statements and found out they had been looking for this guy for two years. He takes the bus all the way from West Seattle.

I am happy to post this update, especially for Jessica, who really needed this closure. I will post updates as charges are filed or if I am called to testify.

Thanks to Officer Garick Mattson.

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