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How to spend a perfect Valentine’s Day date at the movies

New movies normally open on Fridays, but this week Hollywood has its crop of new films all opening, Thursday, Valentine’s Day. Tinseltown is hoping all you lovebirds out there catch a movie to either cap off or kick off your Valentine’s Day celebration.

First off, for all the ladies out there hoping to do something nice for their man, what better way to show your love and devotion than taking him to “Good Day to Die Hard,” the fifth installment in the Bruce Willis Die Hard franchise. This time out Willis, aka John McLain, is kicking a lot of Russian butt – right alongside his estranged son, CIA secret agent John McLain, Jr.

This is a pretty lousy movie, so it will help if your beau is not into things like a good storyline or character development. But lots of things get blown up: like cars and buildings and nuclear power plants.

Thousands of rounds of ammo are shot off from hundreds of assault weapons, killing dozens upon dozens of bad guys, and miraculously, NOT Bruce Willis OR his son.

Speaking of miracles, twice these two jump out of skyscrapers and survive. Twice again, Willis has to hang on for dear life from the open end of a huge transport helicopter, once through sheer arm strength, the second time from inside an armored truck that’s dangling just outside the chopper. Both times he’s swung free right before a spectacular crash.

What more could an undiscriminating guy want to see on Valentine’s Day.

And now, a recommendation for the guys out there looking to prove their love and devotion to their girlfriends or wives. What the Die Hard series is for guys, movies based on Nicholas Sparks books are for gals (or ladies or women.) Conveniently, there’s a new one out this Valentine’s Day called “Safe Haven.” In case the name Nicholas Sparks doesn’t ring a bell, maybe the following movie roll call will: “The Notebook,” “Message In a Bottle,” “Dear John,” or “Night in Rodanthe.”

Safe Haven is the eighth Sparks novel made into a film. Now I haven’t seen Safe Haven – it was bad enough I had to sit through the Die Hard movie this week – but from the look of the trailer, it sounds like it’s like all his other movies – hyper romanticized versions of love triumphing over difficulties.

What woman wouldn’t appreciate the supreme sacrifice it would take for most guys to sit through “Safe Haven” with her? After all, that’s what Valentine’s Day is all about, right?

But if taking your boyfriend/husband to “Good Day to Die Hard,” or your girlfriend/wife to “Safe Haven” seems a little to steep a price to pay, I also have a compromise suggestion …

Find a multiplex that’s showing both films, and while HE sees the Die Hard film, SHE can watch “Safe Haven” and then meet up right afterwards.

He’ll be riding high on a testosterone rush and she’ll be like emotional jelly. It could prove to be the best Valentine’s Day night ever.

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