DAVE ROSS

I sense a political massacre coming

Jul 28, 2017, 5:58 AM

Scaramucci, The mooch...

White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais, File)

(AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais, File)

I sense a political massacre coming. But first, some historical perspective.

If you read the Alexander Hamilton biography, you know that what’s happening in President Trump’s White House is hardly new in American politics.

The Founders themselves gleefully slimed and threatened each other in the press, and of course, Hamilton himself was shot dead by a sitting vice president.

So the fact that President Trump has appointed The Fonz – I’m sorry, the Mooch (The Fonz never swore) — as his spokesman is not the end of the world. The language he used in his interview with reporter Ryan Lizza is nothing you wouldn’t hear on a street corner after a drug deal gone bad, or on the Access Hollywood bus, or among hedge fund executives, apparently.

But, unfortunately, I had to refer listeners to other sources for the quotes, because the FCC prohibits me from uttering them on the air. I could have bleeped them, but that would cover up what makes them news.

The whole system is rigged against radio. How can we accurately cover the president when broadcasting his spokesman’s words is against the law?

Maybe we should ask Siri.

Siri, how come it’s illegal to say [expletive deleted] paranoid schizophrenic on the air?

“I don’t know. Frankly, I’ve wondered that myself.”

Anyway, I’m sure the Mooch feels terrible about this. But in a way, it’s a sign of progress. Used to be you had to hang around the boys’ bathroom to learn those words. Now, your kids can learn them from an upscale magazine.

So bottom line: looks like Reince Priebus is out, then Sessions, then Mueller. And once all that happens – to restore the cosmic balance — Kathy Griffin gets her job back.

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