Finally! Seattle solves its ping-pong problem
Seattle still has a lot of problems: Horrible traffic, growing violent crime downtown, unemployment still way too high… But our great city leaders have finally solved one of our city’s most pressing issues:
To be specific, the lack of a public ping-pong table at City Hall.
In a much acclaimed public event today, the city announced that it has acquired a ping-pong table that will be available for public play. City Councilman Nick Licata told KIRO Radio: “this is an opportunity to allow the public to come in and enjoy themselves… you give the person your ID, and in exchange, the security guard will give you your paddles and ping-pong balls”.
As several listeners have pointed out, they’re going to require you to drop off ID to get a ball and paddle? You mean, we have a higher threshold for playing ping-pong than we have for voting in Seattle?
And what about illegals who don’t have any ID? How horribly unfair to them. Will they be excluded from the ID requirement? I certainly hope so – we need some ping-pong diplomacy.
Of course, they’ve only put in one table at City Hall. There will no doubt be a demand for more very soon. Look for the ping-pong property tax levy on the ballot very soon. Of course, they won’t call it the “ping-pong levy”. They’ll call it the “Families, parks, and Medic One Levy” – with all proceeds going to new ping-pong tables.
But here is the most extraordinary aspect of this story. City Councilman Nick Licata is the lead city official in this effort. Long before he became a politician, Nick Licata rose to public prominence as one of the co-founders of “Citizens for More Important Things” – a group in the mid-90’s dedicated to stopping the new Mariners stadium from being built in Seattle. That organization said that government should focus on more important issues than building a baseball stadium.
That catapulted Licata to the City Council. Now that he’s a political insider, he finally has found that more important thing…