“We’re here to make people feel better,” said Dori.
So he asked them to call in and, voices disguised, confess all their dirtiest secrets. Like listener Goldfinger*, who felt frustrated with homeless people.
“I realize I should have compassion for the less fortunate,” said Goldfinger. “But I’m getting sick and tired of the homeless in Seattle. I don’t mean the legitimate homeless. But I mean the guy up in Shoreline who wears a white shirt and a tie and has been out of gas for at least nine months.”
Goldfinger says he has no more sympathy for legitimate homeless people because of all the scammers out there. And after he confessed, he said he even felt his blood pressure go down.
Mister L had a more serious confession: he used to have a serious drinking problem.
“Over the course of 2005 to 2010, roughly, I have driven the streets of Tacoma and the Pacific Northwest highly intoxicated,” he said.
He never crashed his car or got arrested for a DUI, but during a stay at a treatment facility that helped him overcome his alcohol addiction, he estimated that he drove drunk over 3,000 times.
“After some time of being sober, I appreciate this chance to apologize to your listeners and anyone who was on the road at those times. I’m sorry that I endangered your lives,” he said.
Jester called in to confess that he had an anger management problem and wanted to know how he could anonymously make it up to a friend he’d wronged.
“We kind of got into a squabble. I got angry, I kind of have a bad temper, so I took my knife and I wrecked his brewing equipment,” said Jester.
Dori told him that he could send him cash in the mail so he’d be able to repair his equipment, while producer Jake told him to buy his friend some beer.
There was just one listener that Dori couldn’t absolve, a listener that hung up at the last minute: Sori confessed to voting for Christine Gregoire.
“There are some things we can’t forgive,” said Dori.
*Names have been changed to protect listeners’ identities.