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Divorced 29-year-old says people under 25 shouldn't be allowed to marry

BY Jamie Skorheim  on June 4, 2012 @ 10:02 am (Updated: 11:50 am - 6/4/12 )

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A recently divorced woman has a message for those under 25 considering tying the knot: Don't!

A recently divorced woman has a message for those under 25 considering tying the knot: Don't!

In a column for The Huffington Post, 29-year- old Toronto PR professional Jennifer Nagy is making a case for why people under the age of 25 shouldn't be allowed to marry.

"I do believe that it would be for the best, better both for the institution of marriage and the individuals getting married, if we could change the law to prevent couples from getting married before the age of 25," Nagy writes.

Nagy got married when she was 24-years-old, and by age 29, after a nine year relationship, she and her husband separated.

"I was with this person since I was 19 and I found in my experience that going through a long-term relationship starting when you're so young and you don't have the knowledge of yourself and what you want in life, wasn't necessarily the best idea," Nagy tells 97.3 KIRO FM's Ross and Burbank Show.

She says in her case, she'd been so focused on working and developing a career she hadn't really spent a lot of time considering who she was and what she wanted, and when she finally took the time, she realized she felt pretty disconnected from the life she'd established for herself.

"I found myself as a much older woman realizing that I didn't really know myself. I didn't feel connected to my life. Once I decided that, it was very tough to be able to continue with a marriage and a life that I didn't feel any connection to."

Ross and Burbank host Luke Burbank, who also married before age 25, says he too feels he wasn't ready.

"I think about some of the fights that my ex-wife and I had, and some of the ways that I acted. I was just not ready to be married to another human being."

In her column, Nagy cites statistics from the National Center for Health that says around 60 percent of marriages of couples between the ages of 20 and 25 end in divorce.

Co-host Dave Ross says he and his wife made it OK.

"I was married at 21, and next year it will be 40 years if we make it," says Ross.

Nagy says she doesn't expect every marriage between people under age 25 will go bust, but she does think it makes things more difficult.

"I do definitely think that there are people out there that can make it work," says Nagy.

"I think the reason I wrote this article was because I wanted to raise awareness of the fact that people should be thinking about more than just 'I love this person and I want to get married,'" says Nagy. "I think there should be some thought about who I am and whether I'm ready for this, and whether my maturity level, and my potential spouse, whether their maturity levels, are high enough to really survive the ups and downs of marriage."

Listen to Ross and Burbank discussion with Jennifer Nagy:

By JAMIE GRISWOLD, MyNorthwest.com Editor

Jamie Skorheim, MyNorthwest.com Editor
Whether it's floating on Green Lake, eating shrimp tacos at Agua Verde, or taking weekend drives out to the Cascades, she loves to enjoy the Pacific Northwest lifestyle as much as humanly possible.
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Comments (23)


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  • Zoeller wrote...
    What crock! Nagy would still be a divorced old Nag! Even if-
    June 4, 2012 11:40 am
    She would have married this guy after the age of 25! Is she trying to say she that might not of married this guy if she would have waited another year or two? Right!!! She would have still married this guy and she would still be divorced. (End Of Story.)
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  • TheKingBoar wrote...
    Idiot idea
    June 4, 2012 12:07 pm
    Maybe instead of spending so much time/money planning a wedding, people would be better off laying the foundation for a good marriage. I've been with my wife for 8 years now, married for 5. We started dating at 16. Our self centered society is so focused on figuring out who "I" am, and developing "me" that they neglect that young married people who do lay a foundation have a chance to shape each other. My wife and I have shaped each others personalities and interests in a way that has brought us closer and I would never change that. There are benefits to marrying young, as long as you're more intelligent than the author of that article was and is now.
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  • jhosford4 wrote...
    TheKingBoar
    June 5, 2012 6:52 am
    I'm in your boat KingBoar. My wife and I started dating sophomore year of highschool. Dated for 5 years, got married at 21ish. Been married for 2 1/2 years, have have a good enough job that we are having our first kid this year....i turn 24 later this week. The makes us the exception today, not the norm, but it also shows it's possible. Like you said, being married is about "us" not "me" and though we have had our fights like any couple, you put the effort in to work figure it out.
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  • InfoSupervisor86 wrote...
    Sometimes I wonder...
    June 4, 2012 12:52 pm
    why people try to create "rules" to make themselves feel better about things that didn't work out in their life... Just because you got divorced doesn't mean anyone under 25 should be banned from being married. Just because you burned your mouth on hot coffee from McDonalds doesn't mean they should have to put waivers on their receipts. Lets use our brains here people : )
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  • cobain501 wrote...
    What a tool
    June 4, 2012 1:02 pm
    What's true for 1 person should be true for everyone? Why is this person getting any attention at all? Proof that sensationalist media wins out. I'm sure its true that Marriage is bad if you see it only as a means for, as Nagy writes, "what you want in life," as opposed to actual love which is sacrificial and not self seeking. If you want to talk about doing something better for the "institution of marriage" as Nagy is talking about, then how about understanding that Marriage is about loving another person unconditonally, sacrificially, and without wanting or needing anything in return. Its not just selfishly hitching up with someone who happens to share your selfish ambitions. Those will change or wear out and then you'll get divorced like Nagy. What a tool. Someone silence this ignoramous.
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  • wowza wrote...
    23 years and counting
    June 4, 2012 1:15 pm
    What's the normal divorce rate? I agree that it's more difficult when you're younger because you start going through so many different changes once you're in the "real" world and working. HOWEVER, if you simply make the commitment and absolutely refuse to give up, you can make it work. It's not easy no matter what your age when you marry. I completely disagree with this persons assessment of the entire situation but osrry that she had such a sour experience.
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  • El Duderino wrote...
    State's Rights
    June 4, 2012 1:20 pm
    This has always been a states issue. No state I am aware of doesn't treat all 18+ year olds as adults. Most allow those younger than 18 to marry with parental consent (this varies greatly from state to state).

    Unintended consequences seems strong and obvious here. So young people should cohabitate and basically have a common law marriage until 25? Yeah that's a great idea, let's not let them legally commit to something they want.

    This coming from a guy who married at 19 and divorced at 21, remarried at 28 and going strong for 8+ years. Allow people to live their lives already.

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  • ron prevost wrote...
    Interesting that Luke who strongly supports gay marriage
    June 4, 2012 1:52 pm
    agrees that straight couple should not marry until after 25.

    No judgement, Luke. Just 'interesting'.

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • mnpat wrote...
    I'm sure "No-Fault" divorce has much to do with it,
    June 4, 2012 5:01 pm
    Wanted by the feminist it has turned marriage into a game. "Feminist Shere Hite once bragged that 91% of divorces were initiated by women. Even today over 2/3rds of divorces are the choice of women and not because, as those who rely on sexist stereotypes insist, her man cheats on her or beats on her. Rather, all but a tiny number of women who present their man with divorce papers report that their reasons are such things as "I fell out of love," "I need to find myself," and "I love him but I'm not in love with him anymore.".... When there is no chips in the game, it is rather easy to get out and fold like a old dollar bill.
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  • irony wrote...
    the problem isn't 25....
    June 4, 2012 5:28 pm
    the problem is people are living together before marriage. those who don't have an extremely higher rate of long term marriage. what happens is the guy gets sex before he bonds with the girl and there is no real relationship.
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  • istj04 wrote...
    TERM DESIGNATION I SAY!
    June 4, 2012 10:27 pm
    Since government insists on being so damned stupid about WHO it will "recognize" or discriminate against in adult marriages, why NOT take the insanity to the next level, and put a TERM DESIGNATION on a marriage license? Keep it short at first, and let it get "longer" as the marriage stays together. That way there are NO DIVORCES! Bad marriages can simple "expire" like a driver's license, or a politician's term of office!
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  • ron prevost wrote...
    bad example with a politician's term of office.
    June 5, 2012 5:45 am
    For democrats in this county and state, that could be forever.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • SickofSeattleite wrote...
    @istj04
    June 5, 2012 6:07 am
    interesting idea....maybe if it was an option.... in addition to the forever one....
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