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Are we ready America?

cedargrove
Are you ready for the Summer Olympics? (AP Photo)

I think it's to our credit that it took an American to get cynical Londoners enthusiastic about their Olympics again.

"I hear there's a guy called Mitt Romney, he wants to know whether we're ready? Are we ready?" London Mayor Boris Johnson said to cheers from a crowd in Hyde Park.

Yes, London is ready and I'm ready too. Ready for two weeks of athletic performances that will amaze all of us and inspire all of us, and ultimately remind all of us how hopelessly inferior we are.

This is the specialty of the Summer Olympics.

With the Winter Olympics, the athletes are mostly bundled up and a lot of the sports involve coasting downhill.

The Summer Olympics are about nearly naked bodies in tests of endurance and fine motor coordination which leave the rest of us realizing that we come from the shallow end of the gene pool.

Even for people who think they're in great shape -- this is a cruel reality check. You feel as if you have to amp up your workout just to be worthy of watching.

The Summer athletes are like visitors from the Andromeda Galaxy who could shut down the power grid if they wanted to, but instead they just shame us. Like the archer from South Korea who broke an Olympic record in the first round of the archery competition despite being legally blind in his left eye.

Which brings up another thing: They all have inspiring back stories that make the rest of us feel like hopeless slackers.

They sing. They dance, have black belts. They're gorgeous. They overcame adversity. It just makes you want to paint over your bathroom mirror.

Just the same, being a patriot, I hope we win the usual boatload of medals. Maybe it will persuade the world that the reason we're so heavy is all the gold around our necks.

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Comments (8)


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  • ron prevost wrote...
    dave, Dave, Dave. You've become obsessed lately with sex and naked bodies.
    And moving from pajama snuggling to near naked vollyball, no less. But, then, everybody over hypes the Olympics.

    Long, long ago when the only thing other than baseball and boxing we could see on a regular basis was ABC's Wide World of Sports, gymnastics and track might have been interesting. But now, channel surfing even in January you can find swimming. ... The Olympics are no longer such a big deal.

    Quick, Dave, ANYONE - name three American Olympians. .. That's why we are getting 'nearly naked bodies'. ... To get more viewers.

    Of course, in the original Olympics the contestants were all nude (but there were no women competing). So, London gives the age old Olympic sport of beach vollyball. ... What the heck - I'll watch that quicker than the marathon.

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  • clevesside wrote...
    The Opening Ceremonies....
    ...in London must top Beijing from 2008. You want dazzling, glorifying excess, how do you improve on it? We'll see what happens. Maybe some royal waves from a cherry-picker?
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  • deltta wrote...
    Dave
    Please stop applying your own limitations to others.
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  • gworker wrote...
    The Olympics Wasted Money
    Billions spent on stadiums, pools, tracks and security for a bunch of Pro athletes. Ten days after its all over most people will not remember the winners names and the facilities will fall into disrepair and need taxpayer money to maintain them or be torn down. A bunch of money spent for people to feel good about sports. What a waste!
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  • maplefish wrote...
    How bout
    The Women's oil wresting competition?
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  • clevesside wrote...
    Maybe since it's in London,
    ...pub hop marathon?? To just finish is to win.
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  • Cbrew wrote...
    Dave - really?
    Maybe i'm wierd but i don't do that when i see the olympics... Maybe it's coming from the Military, maybe it's having run hundreds of miles often times with combat boots or gear on or whatever... or maybe it's having witnessed guys in the military that could run at near olympic speed... but whatever it is... I don't feel inferior to these athletes when i watch them, if anything i think to myself, if i wanted to dedicate my life to just 1 thing I feel like i could compete myself... but lets be honest, it's not feasible for must of us who feel like making real money and having a life outside of 1 single event/sport. Games are great Dave, and don't get me wrong i'm not trying to downplay how athletically gifted these people are, but it's not like they do things that are impossible... much can be done with focus and determination... I just don't think it makes these athletes so unique that you should feel inferior to them in any way.
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  • southi5 wrote...
    @Cbrew
    I'm with you. I'm amazed with these athletes and impressed at the motivation and endurance they show. Once every 4 years the summer athletes get to compete on the largest stage in the world, since I was a kid I've gotten excited and awe struck with the Olympics, some of these commenters need to suck it up and drive on! Be with most of the rest of the WORLD and get into it or get out of the way!
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