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The Equifax of life

(AP Photo/David Goldman, File)

I know, what’s the point of even covering data breaches anymore? I guess to shame the corporation that let it happen.

Ross: Can we discuss this? Or is it insensitive?

Yet, the real criminals are the hackers, right? Yes, it’s bad to leave the car unlocked, but that doesn’t excuse the guy who steals it.

So shaming Equifax for leaking 143 million records only goes so far. We need to get at the hackers.

I asked cyber security expert Jason Glassberg how to find them so we could pour Krazy Glue on their keyboards. But he doesn’t know where they are. What he does know is that they made off with a lot: Name, address, social security number, birthday, account numbers…

“This kind of data has a term for it in the underground circles, it’s known as a fulls. Fulls meaning it’s a full data set.”

And they steal it so they can sell it to other cyber criminals. You know what they charge? $20! That’s what everything about you is worth.

“You multiply $20 by 143 million you can see it’s potentially quite a lot of money.”

So they sell you out for 20 bucks a pop and use the money for who knows what. Probably pimple cream. And about all you can do is daily pat-downs of all your accounts.

“I mean I know I literally have to go and monitor my accounts. I’m probably going to move that up to every day.”

More time in front of the screen. Whooppee!

But as always, technology to the rescue. Did you see the breakthrough feature on the new iPhone 10? 3D facial recognition instead of a password! The software even compensates for the aging process. And as that technology spreads, the day is coming when no crook can get access to your accounts. Unless he kidnaps you.

I can’t wait.

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