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Should Holly Petraeus, the general's wife, have done a better job maintaining her appearance? Is that a valid excuse for infidelity? (mail.com)

Do you owe your spouse a hot body?

BY Stephanie Klein  on November 13, 2012 @ 8:35 pm (Updated: 9:18 pm - 11/13/12 )

Some of Dori's listeners have been saying it's no wonder that General David Petraeus cheated on his wife. She has let herself go and is 'frumpy' while he maintains a strict fitness regime.

So Dori poses the question: Do you owe your spouse at least an effort to maintain your appearance?

(Dori stresses that no one on the show believes Petraeus was OK to cheat on his wife, or any other man for that matter.)

This isn't about Petraeus, says Dori, it's about the 40-year-old guy who wrote in to the show and said that he works out four days a week and he's attracted to the women at the gym. He says he'd never act on it, but he resents that his wife doesn't seem to care about her appearance.

The next question is how far you stretch outside of your own comfort zone to appease someone. Another woman wrote into the show to say she colors her hair and works out, but feels ridiculous wearing a lot of make-up. Is the next step plastic surgery?

Dori refers to Bruce Jenner and other celebrities who look comical after plastic surgery and says he's not suggesting that route. But he does think it's a good idea to hit the gym on a regular basis for both your spouse and yourself.

"I don't understand people who are younger letting themselves go. We only have one shot at this life."

Dori also points out that it's a fact men are attracted to the physical attributes of a woman while women are attracted to a powerful man.

In the end, Dori just believes it's a fascinating topic of conversation. Keep it going.

What you're saying on Facebook:

Kelly West Is meaningless what she looks like, hello... Tiger Woods wife?

Tammi Graham David Petraeus is no "looker" himself! How many of us look the same as we did 20-30 years ago?! This is NO excuse for an affair!

Linda Vizzare We have no idea what kind of marriage the General and Mrs. Petraeus have had behind close doors for the last 30 plus years. This is a poor excuse for bad behavior. If this how some would justify this explain why Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston. She must of let herself go by gaining a pound!!!

Andy Sytsma I believe we should keep ourselves up first for yourself then your spouse. Do the best you can! I have changed my diet as well as my wife and we workout.

Amani Runako Moss I about choked on my coffee when I saw the Mrs!! sheesh! However it's a sad situation all the way around. No one deserves to be cheated on.

Daniel Gedutis the whole thing about all these high-ranking officials having affairs: It does not matter if their wives are attractive or not, it is about who they are spending time with.

Stephanie Klein, MyNorthwest.com Editor
Stephanie joined the MyNorthwest.com team in February 2008. She has built the site into a two-time National Edward R. Murrow Award winner (Best Radio Website 2010, 2012).
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Comments (7)


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  • JMet wrote...
    owe each other responsible living and commitment
    November 13, 2012 9:51 pm
    No, we certainly don't owe our spouse a 'hot body.' Unless it mattered to put it in your vows, then stop you're belly aching and have the integrity to live behind the vows you did take. One of those is health. Exercise is important in maintaining out health and long life. We owe that to anyone in our lives. Our children, our families, and most importantly, ourselves. Even into the late 80's, gyms were mostly 'meatheads' like the "Governator" who were getting pumped up. No one from day to day life was in a gym. Then, the mid 90's gyms started gaining ground. Up went the number of people going to gyms, and up went the amount of time spent away from the family and core relationship. Gyms have since, always been referred to as 'meat markets.' The more time spent away from the core and spent on vanity (rather than health) is a certain equation for disaster. For most of us; work, dinner, and a few recreational activities is a full life. That doesn't leave a lot of time for 'together time' as it is, especially if kids are involved. I'm beginning to wonder if the faithfulness and fidelity that all of us were raised to vow is truly a myth that never existed, even in the 'olden' days. The bottom line is marriage, ANY KIND, straight, gay, I DON'T CARE ... if you promise fidelity, then that's what you owe. If that's not important, and you want an open marriage, then toss out the vow. But if you don't have the fortitude to stand behind the vows you make, THEN DON'T MAKE THEM! Otherwise, instead of going to the gym, how about going for a walk ... together. Go for a bike ride, go skiing, do anything, to stay healthy for each other and to stay connected, always. Otherwise, the uptick we see in infidelity in the media only translates to more acceptance of it in our society. Look at what Bill Clinton did to the definition of 'sex' and then talk to a young person today about whether oral sex is really sex. If we're looking to find beauty outside of our relationship, it can be found every where. Unfortunately, with the sexualization of society and progression of technology it's only going to get worse. Time to hunker down with your values or stop trying to aspire to them.
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  • daveismenotyou wrote...
    Brevity
    November 13, 2012 10:41 pm
    can be your friend
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  • TLucas wrote...
    R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
    November 14, 2012 11:13 am
    It all comes down to respect. Respect for your spouse and respect for yourself and those around you. While I have friends of the opposite sex, out of respect for my spouse and my children I will not do anything that could be perceived as inappropriate. That includes the amount of time I spend with those friends. My spouse affords me the same respect. We teach our children who are entering the "dating" world that you should not give up your friends but if you would be upset if your bf/gf acted that way then you certainly shouldn't act that way. Societies acceptance of the "If it makes me feel good then it must be okay. No matter who it affects" attitude has gotten out of hand.
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  • OhReally! wrote...
    Do we owe our spouse a hot body
    November 14, 2012 12:42 pm
    Oh Hell to the No! Please what an insulting question. Posed no less by a man. Guess what men when you start needing viagra because you cannot perform around 50 years old.... women don't trade you in
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  • roomtemp wrote...
    'when you start needing viagra because you cannot perform around 50'
    November 15, 2012 7:08 pm
    This brings up a chicken vs. egg conundrum. Which came first, the viagra or the blindfold?

    Coming up on 50, been at the same weight for 30 years, and everything works just fine btw. :P

    I'd say yes... You owe it to your spouse (and yourself) to keep some semblance of your optimal form.

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  • William Lawn wrote...
    No mirrors in the Monson household?
    November 14, 2012 2:24 pm
    Or at least in Dori's room.
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  • MagneticPatriot wrote...
    Stand by your Man??? Where else would they stand?
    November 15, 2012 12:17 pm
    Sorry but Petraeus's wife along with Bill Clinton's - Hillory, where else would they go and who would have them? Sorry but they are not the most attractive people in the world!
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