The weekend in 60 secondsApril 9, 2012 @ 4:12 am (Updated: 6:34 am - 4/9/12 )
In case you lived the dream and slept all weekend, here's the poem I did this morning: "The weekend in 60 seconds." (I ran the clicking stopwatch under it in honor of Mike Wallace.)
"The weekend in 60 seconds"
By Bill Radke
60 Minutes WAS Mike Wallace.
Interviews were nearly flawless.
Now he's in heaven, grilling the greeter.
"What are you trying to hide, Saint Peter?
In Virginia, a fighter jet --
In bad a shape as you can get --
Hits a building from out of the sky.
How in the world did nobody die?
It could have been one of the great disasters...
Bubba Watson won the Masters.
Barely beating Louis Oosthuizen
That shot from the woods? Muy surpizin.
(Tiger Woods got so upset
He kicked his club. No discipline yet.)
She won the jackpot but somehow,
She just can't find her ticket now.
So claims a Mega Millions player
Good enough for me. Let's pay her.
Mariners look like they can hit.
Rick Santorum fixin' to quit.
Seal and Heidi Klum ARE splitting
Anne Hathaway chopped her hair -- no kidding.
Cornish has uninvited Mike Daisey
I'll tell you why I think that's crazy.
Let him speak and take back his degree.
More on that at 5:33.
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