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Brace yourselves, amigos

Dude. Andrew’s bar fight story was intense. It was almost surreal, too, because we all know that Andrew is a super nice guy who wouldn’t be mean to anyone. That lady was crazy, though. I’m surprised he left a tip at all, although I guess fifty cents is almost more a slap in the face than leaving nothing. What he should’ve done is draw a perfect copy of the emoji that’s a smiling pile of poop. That would’ve showed her.

Is it okay?!


Beef is worse than pork and poultry when it comes to the environment: The problem with studies is next week there will be another study which says that pigs’ urine is slowly burning a hole into the ground and in 3000 years the Earth will look like Swiss cheese. Eat what you wanna eat. It’s all going to burn anyway and our grandkids will probably colonize Mars so it’s all good.

Name dropping: Yes, it’s totally okay to name drop. It can break the ice in an awkward situation. It can freeze the ice if you’re talking to someone you don’t wanna keep talking to. It can make a story interesting or it could be a segue into a whole new awesome conversation. I say this as someone who has zero names to drop, though, so what do I know?

Amazon and the CIA: I guess this makes me a cynic, but I just assume that everything I do or say or put online is available to the world if they’re smart enough to access it. To me this whole “cloud” thing will just make it easier for the government to know that I’ve almost bought the complete series of Daria on DVD about 712 times.

-toni hammer // // @realtonihammer

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