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Andyana Jones and the Lake Abomination

Egads man. Look at that man-mouthed, gonad hunting water monstrosity.

“It’s the pirahna’s ugly cousin, and it’s coming for your children’s genitals. Find out more at 11.” -Local news networks across the country.

I’m making jokes because that’s what I do when I’m scared. That thing is terrifying.


No no no no no no.

Have you been meaning to see Far & Away, the 1992 Ron Howard film starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, but the last twenty one years have been busy? Well you, sir or madam, are in luck, because Luke and Andrew will explain the plot to you in a new segment Luke’s calling “Two Minutes You Will Never Get Back.”

The guys decide that the only proper way to memorialize a beloved t-shirt when it’s worn out is to shoot into space from a t-shirt cannon. That sounds pretty sweet, but I prefer viking funerals for my tees. Put it in a toy boat, set it aflame, and push it into Lake Washington. Do they make miniature TruckNutz I could fit on a toy boat? Pacu trap – lure it up there and kill it with fire. You’re welcome, America.

Luke’s song of the day- Enya – Orinoco Flow (Sail Away)

My song of the day – Haim – Forever

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