This is the Broccoli
Sep 25, 2014, 9:07 AM | Updated: 9:10 am
Who steals a turtle? And not just a turtle. A GIANT tortoise. Who does that? Who wakes up one day and thinks, “I’m going to steal a giant tortoise today to get some quick cash.” For the love, go wash some windows or bag groceries or something. Go on Craigslist and find a gig where you can make a quick $50. And, while you’re on Cragislist, look out for tortoise owner groups. Those are the people you’re hurting. Think about THAT.
Also, I really feel like Luke dropped the ball on this segment because he didn’t play the “I like turtles” drop nearly enough. I expected to hear it no less than 7 times and was sorely disappointing.
And, so I can get back in Luke’s good graces, I’m totally with him on the enormity of the overlap in the Venn diagram of people with the money to buy an iPhone 6 and the people who think you can actually safely put your phone in the microwave. I posted that story on Facebook and got just a touch of push back because of how cruel it is that someone would make that fake ad. Yes, it’s cruel, but it’s kind of like the Herbert Spencer survival of the fittest idea, don’t you think? If you think you can safely put your brand new phone into a microwave… you probably shouldn’t have an iPhone.
Rant over. I was upbeat yesterday. Get off my lawn.
-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer