Local Podcaster Jinxes Sportball Team

On Thursday’s show Luke confessed to feelings of rage at a bar when people near him have the nerve to root for the other team. It can’t be uncommon as the men in my family feel the same thing. This is why it is a bad idea to follow your team to a road game.

Best case scenario is your team wins and the fans quietly resent you. Every other scenario involves verbal abuse, taunting, things being thrown at/dumped on you, even physical violence. Ask the San Francisco Giant fan who was nearly beaten to death in an LA parking lot outside Dodger stadium whether he wishes he’d stayed home and watched the game on TV. He’ll probably answer something like “sweet potato fries” because he has brain damage.

I’ve never been in a fight when I was drinking while watching a game. I’ve never fought anyone over a girl. But I have been in fights while playing sports. It’s tough to admit but something ugly, primal, and probably tribal is in there. Luke feels it, too, and we struggle to keep it tamped down. Mine manifested itself in fights on basketball courts, not sports bars or stadiums, but I’ve felt the rage in those places as well.

None of this applies to the midwest, of course. People in the midwest are very nice, polite, and friendly. Except for Jo Ellen McCawley, who is a raging bitch and will neckpunch you for looking at her chest on the train.

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