DAVE ROSS

An ode to Amazon Key

Oct 26, 2017, 6:21 AM | Updated: 12:13 pm

It is Amazon’s solution to the problem of package theft.

Amazon Key includes a remote-controlled door lock and a security camera so packages can be dropped off inside your home while you’re away. When the delivery driver arrives, Amazon gets a notification. The company activates the camera and opens the door remotely so the driver can open your door and put your package inside.

This is a watershed moment. Because if it catches on it will mean we now trust Amazon more than Santa Claus.

Ode to Amazon Key

Now each day is Christmas and all through your house
Are Amazon products, including the mouse

Which is under your hand and stays very quiet
As you move to an item and click once to buy it

And that’s all it takes, just that one little tap
And you can head off for a long winter’s nap.

And as you nod off there will come to your home
A big yellow sleigh pulled by eight tiny drones

With an Amazon driver so lively and quick
He can open your door without using a pick

He won’t need your key, he won’t need your chimney
He’ll drop off the packages quickly and nimbly

He’ll bring every gift, not one will be missed
Since Alexa can hear every wish on your list.

So as visions of sugarplums dance through your head
You can order up real ones direct from your bed!

The stockings now hung by the chimney with care?
The Amazon driver delivered them there.

Totally safe, and always on-time
Provided of course you have Amazon Prime.

Dave's Commentary

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An ode to Amazon Key