TCTI: Too Crazy Too Ignore
 Dave Ross

Former member of Westboro Baptist Church leaves family to escape brainwashing

BY Alyssa Kleven  on March 5, 2013 @ 7:12 am (Updated: 9:07 am - 3/5/13 )

laurendrain.jpg
Former Westboro Baptist Church member posed for the NoH8 campaign, and said she did so in direct response to the judgments of the WBC. (Image courtesy Lauren Drain's Facebook page/Adam Bouska)
Taken into the fold of the Westboro Baptist Church, and leaving her family behind when she departed years later, Lauren Drain, is sharing her story.

Drain is the author of "Banished: Surviving My Years in the Westboro Baptist Church." She told KIRO Radio's Dave Ross when she was a teenager her father found something compelling inside the church he had planned on exposing.

"My father has always been looking for a doctrine - that he could say is the truth, and that he could get up on a pedestal and be vocal."

Drain's father was there to make a documentary, exposing the Westboro Baptist Church. Instead, he and his family became a part of one of the most notorious hate groups still in existence in the United States.

"At the time, I was a teenager. I was going out with friends. I had started talking to guys. I think a lot of that scared him." She said he wanted more control, and he pulled her out of school. Now her friends were off limits.

The church supported the ideology: no outside influence. "To be a good Christian means you just associated with the church members."

When Drain's family first joined the church, she said they were demonstrating - but they hadn't yet reached the level of picketing the funerals of children killed at Sandy Hook Elementary. There were fewer funeral pickets in general. But once there, Drain said she was brainwashed.

Drain was inundated with the theology of hate: sermons, daily emails, and lots of Bible studies. Church members will say it's focused on the Bible, but Drain said they skip over verses about God's love, forgiveness and hope.

"They teach kids to be to be just as arrogant and just as sanctimonious as the [adults] are," said Drain.

The children buy into it with their money too. Every member of the family pays their way to picketing events. While some funds come from the church's attorney office, she said, inside Westboro there are no hobbies or family vacations to save up for. You don't spend your paycheck on anything.

As a teenager, she got job. "All of my paycheck went to paying for picket trips."

Once at the picketing sites, Drain was brainwashed to believe she was helping those people see the error of their ways.

She once felt that's how she demonstrated being a good Christian. "That's not the only way to be a good Christian," she learned. "In fact, it's the wrong way.

It took finally having a chance to be away from the church to snap out of it. Drain said they controlled everything she thought.

Finally on her own, she had a chance to realize what they're saying wasn't right. "I was being hypocritical, judgmental, and it's not my place to say those things," she said.

She eventually left the church - which also meant leaving behind her mom and dad, two young siblings, and a teenage sister.

There is nothing to justify that kind of behavior, but she still hopes that her parents will come to realize that.

Talking to her mom on the phone recently, she said it felt like her mom had just shut down. She worried that Drain was going to ask her to leave her father. Instead, Drain told her mom, only that she loved her and missed her - and would be there for her if she ever wanted to talk.

Drain's family has said on national television that they've disowned her. She's getting married soon. Her parents won't be attending.

To convince people from leaving the church, Drain said they are often told they will fail at life on the outside. Maybe die of a terrible disease. They won't have any friends, either.

"They wanted to believe that everything in my life would fail - because I'm not there," said Drain. "I wanted to show them, and my siblings, I can succeed."

Read more:
Confessions from a former Westboro Baptist Church member

Alyssa Kleven, MyNorthwest.com Editor
Alyssa Kleven is an editor and content producer at MyNorthwest.com. She enjoys doting over her adorable dachshund Winnie - named for Arcade Fire front-man Win Butler.
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Comments (23)


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  • Oly80 wrote...
    i kinda feel like...
    March 5, 2013 9:34 am
    this story told us everything her book would.

    not too hard to figure out what her book would contain.

    that church has a lot of hate. it gets money from suing people who try to silence them. it's the classroom bully who knows how to stay just out of trouble's reach, and walk the line antagonizing and provoking people to do something they can sue over.

    maybe if we all just ignore them? i don't know...

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  • Cbrew wrote...
    I don't know what i'd do if i ever met one of these people.....
    March 5, 2013 9:37 am
    I have personally witnessed the sacrifices of the American soldier from my time in the Army... I have attended too many military funerals, none of them were protested, but I honestly don't know what i'd do if I ever encountered a group of these people... I would likely end up behind bars... even though they are the scum of the Earth, our freedom of speech allows that it may be abused. I understand this, just don't think i could contain myself from beating the ever living crap out of every one of them.
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  • faithbased wrote...
    Thier "doctrine" is NOT the truth of Christ Jesus
    March 5, 2013 9:55 am
    I'm glad to see that Lauren Drain has come to know that the WBC "doctrine" is NOT the truth of Christ. I can't understand how someone can sincerely read God's word and think that the WBC teachings are anywhere close to the greatness, Mercy and grace of our savior Christ Jesus. WBC hurts people and projects a false and terrible image of the church.
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  • Cbrew wrote...
    Faithbased - It's so unfortunate
    March 5, 2013 10:13 am
    that whacko's like these people are out there... unfortunately in this day and age, people who are not of our faith see this and it goes into their minds as part of what we Christians really are... similarly non-believers and people who don't truly know what Christianity is see reports of Catholic Priests molesting children and think that is part of what Christians are... The reality is so much different, the true believers and followers of Jesus Christ don't use his words for political agendas or to advance a hatred for a particular group... Christ's teachings on the other hand are very much aligned with the ideas and ideals that make up the fabric of this nation. It's truly difficult to explain this to a non-believer in this day and age. The actions of a few crazy people and a few sinners are all that those people see now... not the fact that we who truly follow Christ only mean to bring peace to this world and to live in peace as best we can in a world so corrupted.
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  • Daddy Dennis wrote...
    Not the point.
    March 5, 2013 11:40 am
    Their doctrine opposes the doctrine of the Bible. Anyone with even the smallest knowledge on the subject knows this is true. This is a big reason they still have such a small following.

    The amount of times I have heard young people use these folks as examples of Christianity really tells us all we need to know about what is going on here. The more people opposed to Christianity discuss this group, the more people are driven away from Jesus Christ as a result. The added bonus is they get to watch an institution they find morally reprehensible (the military) forced through agony and discomfort by the discussion and coverage.

    If we are not willing to protect the peace and serenity of a parent as they lower their child into a grave, we do not have disturbing the peace laws. Those who need peace the most get none. No protection. Just cameras and anti-Christian folks looking for poster children at the expense of mourners.

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  • Chuck Gould wrote...
    She left her family behind? Luke 18, 29...
    March 5, 2013 10:26 am
    And He said to them, “Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God,30who will not receive many times as much at this time and in the age to come, eternal life.”

    Somethings *are* more important than family.

    She hasn't wasted any time trying to cash in though, has she?

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Stevebo wrote...
    Hate will likely always exist within humanity in one form or another...
    March 5, 2013 10:51 am
    The WBC is currently the one in the headlines... there have been ones before and there will undoubtedly (and unfortunately) be ones to follow...

    I'm glad this girl was able to break out, and I hope she can profit from her story and use that money to have a more full life away from the church (I use that term loosely... I see it more as a cult than anything).

    Chuck you almost seem to be condemning this girl for writing the book? I'd like to think that the issue is a bit more complex than just profiting.

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  • Chuck Gould wrote...
    Stevebo, if you have a message about which you are genuinely passionate,
    March 5, 2013 11:17 am
    you give it away, not sell it.

    I'm not condemning the girl for writing the book. But I am not above observing that for now she is, or attempting to, pay her way through life based on her unfortunate upbringing in the hate group.

    The book is a commercial enterprise, not a Christian outreach. Nothing wrong with commerce, but the two shouldn't be confused. I don't see anywhere in any of the earliest Christian writings where Jesus charged admission. :-)

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  • gaymarriedchristianfromhollywood wrote...
    i think it's fair.
    March 6, 2013 4:24 am
    She couldn't publish her own book and if the publisher is going to make money why shouldn't she?
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Oly80 wrote...
    chuck, kinda sad...
    March 5, 2013 11:26 am
    "She hasn't wasted any time trying to cash in though, has she?"

    but, still, a good point.

    didn't take her too long to get married, either, did it?

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Daddy Dennis wrote...
    This is why they are discussed...
    March 5, 2013 11:17 am
    "As a teenager, she got job."

    The reason why left wing hacks get a special pleasure out of covering this group is two-fold. The first reason is the hack's disgust and hatred of the military. Watching military funerals get protested satisfies a thirst inside their hearts to see the military trashed.

    The second reason is because these people call themselves Christians. It is the best of both worlds. They get to watch the hated military attacked AND get to watch Christianity shamed and mislabeled. It is a little piece of paradise for them.

    In South Central Los Angeles they have funeral protestors as well. Gangs show up to the funerals of other gangs to start trouble. But since they are black, not attacking the military, and not calling themselves Christians they get what funeral protestors have historically received: A trip to jail in a cop car.

    Perhaps if these gangbangers were white and called themselves Christians as they attacked military families guys like Dave Ross, Andy Walsh, and Luke Burbank would love talking about them as well.

    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • gaymarriedchristianfromhollywood wrote...
    Your sanity called
    March 6, 2013 4:35 am
    It wants to know if it's safe to come back now.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Brian Oblivion wrote...
    Fred Phelps is the
    March 5, 2013 11:47 am
    patriarch of this disgusting crew of vermin, and he has run for political office at least five times as a DEMOCRAT.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • gaymarriedchristianfromhollywood wrote...
    20 years ago before he went bonkers
    March 6, 2013 4:33 am
    Let's see, wbc hates Obama (literally thinks he's the anti Christ), hates gays, hates Muslims...yeah, sounds like a Democrat...Not
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Hectic wrote...
    No respect
    March 5, 2013 11:48 am
    I have no repsect for this lady. She left her brothers and sisters there to suffer. If she had any morals she would be fighting for custody or kidnapping them or whatever it would take. But she just walked away...How can she live with herself?
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  • gaymarriedchristianfromhollywood wrote...
    hey man,
    March 6, 2013 4:37 am
    Sometimes it's all you can do to save yourself.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • CH wrote...
    Is it time to pass the plate?
    March 5, 2013 1:37 pm
    hey BLAW you put money in the basket, not take it out?
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • fisher wrote...
    Brainwashing and indoctrination are common to all religions.
    March 5, 2013 6:07 pm
    The religion of a person has more to do with geography than ideals. If you were born in Italy, you're likely Catholic. If you were born in Israel, you're likely Jewish. If you were born in Saudi Arabia, you're likely a Sunni Muslim. If you were born in Iran, you're likely a Shia Muslim. If you were born in India, you're likely a Hindu. Your parents and those around you start the brain washing at an early age. I don't care if you're religious or not but brain washing is common to all religions. Just remember, all religions started out as a cult. When the cult had enough members, they became a religion. Mormons are a recent example of that. By the way, if you were born in Utah, you're likely a ........
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
  • Paul Kersey wrote...
    imagine if we elected a President
    March 5, 2013 6:16 pm
    Who had spent 20 years at Westboro. That would be just like...uhm now.
    { "Thumbs Up":"1","Thumbs Down":"-1" }
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