One of the casualties of the recent budget cuts is that the White House tours have been canceled. Spokesman Jay Carney knows that a lot of tourists will be disappointed.
"The Secret Service presented options. The White House made the decision that we would unfortunately have to temporarily suspend these tours."
Well, on the Fox News Channel - Eric Bolling, former commodities trader turned talk host - proposed a solution.
"Word is, it will cost around $74,000. If I can get the White House doors open, I will pick up the tab. Mr. Carney, you know this is an offer you can't refuse. Give me a call."
Bolling hosts a show called "The Five." His other four panelists seemed stunned.
"I think we just realized "The Five" isn't your primary source of income!" laughed one.
"If Kimberly and I volunteer to do the tours, can we get in on that scratch?" asked another.
But he's serious. "I will absolutely write the check."
And if that's what it takes - if well-off Americans would rather pay a la carte instead of the additional taxes the President wants, why not take the deal?
In fact, since Congress can't pass a budget, since the President is so desperate he's started treating the members to fancy meals, plying them with Lobster Thermidor - a pox on them all!
They had their chance. We have the Internet now. The White House can post a list of the cuts, and anyone with money who feels strongly about them can use one-click ordering to put it on their Pay Pal account.
It's no more arbitrary than what's going on already.