TCTI: Too Crazy Too Ignore
 Dave Ross

Beware of talking pineapples

April 27, 2012 @ 9:10 am (Updated: 8:38 am - 4/28/12 )

It was one of those reading tests that we all dreaded. Eigth graders in New York were given a passage from a book by childrens' author Daniel Pinkwater about a race between a talking pineapple and a hare.

All the animals end up betting on the pineapple, reasoning that a tropical fruit would never challenge a hare to a race unless he had something up his sleeve.

But alas, the Pineapple just sits there, the hare wins easily, and the animals eat the Pineapple.

Among the test questions -- "who is the wisest animal in the forest?"

Last week, this story was racing around the web as yet another example of testing run amok, so I asked Mr Pinkwater why he'd write such a thing. And it turns out:

"Not a word, other than the two words Daniel Pinkwater are the same as anything that I might have written."

It is SIMILAR to a paragraph from a book of his called Borgel, but the test writers re-wrote it:

"In my story, a rabbit, not a hare, challenges an eggplant, not a pineapple, to a race."

Oh now we get it. No actually no we don't. So is there a moral?

"The moral: Don't bet on an eggplant."

A valuable life lesson for all our eighth grade children. And good publicity for Borgel the book it sort of came from:

"In the end, they meet God who is an orange popsicle," said Pinkwater.

Oh THAT part would have gone down well on a public school reading comprehension test.

Which leads us to the ultimate moral of this story:

"Anybody who uses work of mine on a test is mad," said Pinkwater.

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Comments (5)


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  • ron prevost wrote...
    ?????????? DAVE ?......................................
    April 28, 2012 2:46 pm
    Do you have the slightest idea what this story and 'test' are all about ????? ......... Did Luke get back early and 'share' with you ? ................... There have been non-sensecal stories and books, even, in the past, but there usually is at least SOME logic. .. Through the Looking Glass, for example, actually is profound once you get it. ............ But THIS ????? ............................... OH - I just read the post again. It's the test writers who were on acid, or some such
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  • Chuck Gould wrote...
    And beware the hookah press...
    April 29, 2012 7:14 am
    Premise: A pineapple challenges a hare to a race.

    Question: Who is the wisest animal in the forest?

    Dunno. Pass the Doritos.

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  • Lonestar wrote...
    The eggplant is Obama
    April 29, 2012 4:03 pm
    Because he is purple, people think he is wise. So they bet on him. But he doesn't do anything. He's just an eggplant. And here's another clue for you all. The walrus wasn't Paul. It was really John. So things aren't what they seem.
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