TCTI: Too Crazy Too Ignore
 Dave Ross

The real secret to remembering names

June 22, 2012 @ 2:30 pm (Updated: 9:23 am - 6/24/12 )

Here's the real reason you don't remember names: not because you have a bad memory for names, but because you don't care.

A professor at Kansas State University this week issued a study pointing out that we remember what we're interested in and so, unless you're in a business like sales or politics or teaching where names are important, it's natural to forget them. And it's embarrassing! Because a greeting is a social transaction, and if someone remembers your name and you can't remember theirs it's like finding yourself at the checkout with an empty wallet.

When this study came out a few days ago I heard people saying this shows that we all need to learn to care more about people, to be more interested in our relationships. Basically saying that people who forget names are rude and should be making an extra effort to remember them.

But may I just say, isn't this a two way street? How about if the people whose names we've been forgetting, would just make an extra effort to be a little more interesting? Maybe the reason we're not interested is that they're DULL.

I don't fault them for this. We can't ALL be interesting. All I'm saying is - if a person isn't interesting, why should they expect us to remember their name? Especially with the number of strange names today. You can't even tell what sex people are anymore.

Hello, my name is Syntax and this is my wife Thesaurus.
Here's another idea: why not go back to names that describe what you do? Baker. Miller. Cook. You knew immediately who they were. But now you can't tell. Especially with a name like Dave Ross. No one remembers me. But if I say "Hello, my name is Mr. Radio Voice, how are you?" You can't forget that! And now we have a relationship.

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Comments (4)


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  • ron prevost wrote...
    Once more, Dave. as of 9:00AM 6/24, the posting of your blog was ignored anyway by MYNW.
    June 24, 2012 8:12 am
    Perhaps the posters should read the blog when they finally get around to it. After all, if the TITLE is what the blog is to be about, perhaps they could learn some other memory tricks.

    But, going with the secret of remembering names, I really have none myself. When you're slim and funny looking - and now old - most people remember ME, so I don't have to remember their names (faces, yes, but don't ask me to introduce you to somebody else). Of course, being in real estate, I meet a lot of financial people, so they all recognize me. - So scratch robbing banks as a side line.

    Not knowing what YOUR secret is (as not yet posted), Dave, I can't comment further. ... But I have a feeling that lack of a Dave Ross commentary is actually going to stop out commenters from taking off and running in God knows what direction.

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  • ron prevost wrote...
    OK - 9:20. It's posted. - finally
    June 24, 2012 8:31 am
    I was going to add something, but I can't remember what.
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  • fartforce1 wrote...
    Remembering names, 101.
    June 24, 2012 11:48 am
    I once had a hard time with names. No reason to remember a persons name you will never meet again so why bother? Right? Wrong. I didnt remember names because it was just a single spec of information. When you back a name with an association. Where the person works, a hobbies, a cool thing about hat person then you will remember it, true. what I do is make a conscious effort to remember the name. I write it down. I wait five minutes after I met the person and try to remember the name and if I dontn I look at my notes. I dont forget names anymore because I developed the ability by reinforcing the good habit.
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  • rational wrote...
    fartforce1
    June 24, 2012 10:33 pm
    Good post. I have noticed that my chances of forgetting a name is drastically higher if I don't expect to ever encounter the person again.
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