JOHN CURLEY AND SHARI ELLIKER

Does spirituality make better, more successful children?

Apr 25, 2015, 10:08 PM | Updated: 10:29 pm

KIRO Radio's Tom and Curley ponder a new book that proposes spirituality makes better children. (AP)

(AP)

This happy, well-rounded life is brought to you by: God.

At least according to Columbia University Psychologist Lisa J. Miller who recently authored the book, “The Spiritual Child: The New Science on Parenting for Health and Lifelong Thriving.”

The book states that if parents want their children to have a happier life, stay away from drugs and risky sexual behaviors, and handle life’s trials better, spirituality is the key.

“It’s an interesting idea,” said KIRO Radio’s John Curley. “If your kids have spirituality then they’ll have all these things.”

The spiritual notion, Curley points out, can be confusing when looking at a recent Gallup study.

“You get more pregnancies, you get more crime, you get more problems in the higher church-attending states than you do in others,” he said.

The top church going states, Curley continued, are Utah, Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana. The lesser church-going states are Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Massachusetts and Washington (with Oregon close behind).

“Utah is No. 1 on church attendance, but it’s number 45 on teenage pregnancy,” Curley said. “But then you get Mississippi, which is No. 2 in church attendance, but it’s No. 2 or 3 in teenage pregnancy.”

Spirituality can also teach life skills, but what if parents are not religious or spiritual themselves?

“Kids that have been raised with a religion or at least with a sense of spirituality, are better able to be mature adults, and better able to cope with the world, appreciate the world and be the people we hope our kids grow up to be,” said Tom Tangney, KIRO Radio co-host.

Tom said he is now culturally Catholic, but not a strict follower. He grew up in the church and went to a Catholic college. He also sent his kids to Catholic schools because he feels he was instilled with good morals. But Tom’s kids can choose whatever they wish, he said.

But if parents aren’t spiritual, it doesn’t have to stop them from encouraging the trait in their children.

“The idea that a kid can sit there for an hour and stare at an ant hill, or walk by a homeless person and feel some sort of empathy … these aspects of caring about one another,” Curley said. “What they are saying is that if you aren’t a regular church-goer and religion is not a part of your life, encourage the spirituality in the child, don’t squash it with cynicism or sarcasm. Don’t talk about religion being the opiate of the masses or that if you are a knuckle-dragging Bible thumper that you are a racist or a bigot. You want to find the parts of what religion is, which is caring about other people, and encourage that in the child.”

But it’s a double-edge sword, according to Tom.

“I do think you can raise a kid religiously and it can be negative. It can be so restrictive and doesn’t teach this sense of empathy, awe, and transcendence. It could be a very restrictive thing,” Tom said. “Just because it has a religious base, that is no guarantee that your kid will turn out any better.”

John Curley and Shari Elliker on KIRO Newsradio 97.3 FM
  • listen to tom and curleyTune in to KIRO Newsradio weekdays at 3pm for John Curley and Shari Elliker.

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Does spirituality make better, more successful children?