Whistle? Check. Clipboard? Check. Tight, Sansabelt pants? Check. Plaid sport coat with extra wide lapels? Check. 97.3 KIRO FM's John Curley is ready for some football.
Curley is gearing up to take the helm for the first time as head coach of his son's football team of eight and nine year olds in Sammamish.
He's gearing up, but first he has to figure out his philosophy.
"We're all old school when it comes to how football was treated back in the 70's and 80's."
That means the way he was coached might not fly with parents in this day and age.
"You never got water, water was for the weak. If you weren't listening you ran, you ran constantly," Curley remembers.
But it seems that meant the kids who struggled the most got singled out most often.
"So let me get this straight. The kid with asthma who is like 40 pounds overweight and his pants don't fit right and never fit right all year, he's last. Guess what, he's going to be last again, so he's going to have to run again. That never seemed to make sense to me."
And then there's how to get your point across. If you can't make them run, do you at least yell at them? Curley loves old school football coaches like NFL great Bill Parcells, who wouldn't hesitate to scream at his players or even dump a trash can on them in anger.
"In today's politically correct world, can you get away with that without having parents call you up and say 'Why did you say the word 'crap' or why did you tell my kid that he's crap?'"
Curley admits to a special fondness for one former coach who yelled so aggressively, he would end up spewing spit along with it.
"He would actually fill your face and the back of your head with stink and then later on you'd get hit on the line and all this stink would come forward. It was cigar and coffee and a whole bunch of stink coming up as well."
Then there's the inspirational speech.
"I hope that at some point in the season I say a speech, or I mess up some words so that the kids will forever for the rest of their lives, be able to remember them and repeat them almost verbatim when they see each other 30 years down the road," he laughs.
But even if he doesn't achieve such lofty goals, there's no doubt he'll stand out, since it's likely none of his fellow coaches has a hankering to fashion himself after some guy from the 70's.
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