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FILM: White House Down…way, WAY down!

WARNING: The following trailer depicts a movie that appears exciting…this is false advertising!

White House Down is the worst movie Roland Emmerich has ever done…and Roland Emmerich is responsible for the American version of Godzilla (1999). Actually, looking at his string of hits which include The Patriot, Independence Day, Day After Tomorrow, and 10,000 BC I note that even when his movies have been bad in the past, they’ve also been consistently entertaining. Not so here.

White House Down is a poorly acted, embarrassing, unpatriotic mess of a film. Heartthrob Channing Tatum stars as Cale, a divorced father of one who is on a tour of the White House with his YouTube- and politically-obsessed daughter Emily. Dad is desperate to impress his daughter, but since he’s been a goof-off, he’s unlikely to gain the job he seeks.

Enter John Boehner, Dick Cheney, the Tea-Party, former war veterans, white supremacists, and other terrorists. The only hope the White House has is the man they did not want. Of course, they don’t really use Dick Cheney and Boehner as terrorists, but it’s not hard to see the politics in their terrorist-character make-up. I am so thoroughly sick of the American government and American military being the source of evil in the world within Hollywood films I could get sick, but this is the worst of the recent bunch.

President Obama- I mean “Sawyer,” played by Jamie Foxx has a plan for peace in the Middle East–get America out and send trillions of dollars over for roads and highways. But the evil conservatives and their corporate and defense department allies just won’t let it happen.

The rest of the movie is irrelevant, as the suspense is never genuine, the action never thrilling, the humor never funny, and the effects never convincing. James Woods, an ordinarily compelling screen presence is wasted here, as is Maggie Gyllenhaal. Jamie Foxx, fresh from Django Unchained, fails to escape the humiliations this script inflicted on all talent involved.

White House Down deserves special scorn for trying to capitalize on the Independence Day holiday. It’s not “so bad, it’s fun,” but simply bad.

IF you find yourself desperately wanting to see the White House under attack, go see Olympus has Fallen, the movie depicting a North Korean terrorist takeover of the White House that was released earlier this year. It’s silly, but the action’s a lot of fun. And when it comes to dialogue, White House Down makes Olympus look like Ben Hur. And as a BONUS, it’s playing at the bargain theater in Federal Way.

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