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Can we pardon President Trump’s French?

(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

On Thursday, during a discussion about immigrant protection, President Trump used vulgar language to describe countries such as Haiti and African countries.

RELATED: Trump denies using vulgarity

The president was using the American version of the French word “latrine.” And I’m only allowed to use the French word as an over-the-air broadcaster.

But CNN’s Jake Tapper, for example, was allowed to say the original word because he’s on cable.

Technically, under FCC rules, I could say it on the air too, but only between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. And as much as I love you all, I’m not going to do my commentary two hours earlier just to be able to accurately quote the president.

The reason for the FCC rule is so that parents, by limiting their children only to broadcast media, can guarantee that those children will reach adulthood without speaking like a CNN anchor.

And I highly recommend you do, in fact, raise them to only listen to broadcast media. That way, instead of swearing when they get upset they’ll just make bleeping noises — which is good because you’ll always know where they are.

But Dave, you say, what about the merits of the case here? What about the president’s malicious and false slur against the millions of Americans who come from Haiti and Africa?

I say, relax! The time is coming when we will no longer have to tolerate this kind of false and disrespectful language being uttered in public. Because I know someone who is ready to throw the book at people who do this.

“We want fairness. You can’t say things that are false, knowingly false, and be able to smile as money pours into your bank account,” President Trump previously said.

Yep. Jake Tapper is going to jail! Where all he’ll have is a bed and a … latrine.

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