Not surprisingly, a letter from a dad to his daughter titled, “Dear Daughter: I Hope You Have Awesome Sex,” is taking the Internet by storm.
The letter written by Science Fiction writer Ferret Steinmetz, has nearly 7,500 likes at the Huffington Post, but some think the letter is too much.
“I think his sentiment and what he’s overall trying to say is a nice thing,” says John Curley Show guest host Luke Burbank. “There are a few parts of it where I’m like, ‘maybe you went a little too far.'”
Co-host Andrew Walsh explains the tone he thinks the guy was going for, which he sees as a reaction to the old stereotype of the father as a daughter’s protector.
“He’s saying, ‘Listen, you’re not somebody who I’m supposed to be shaping in my image or a delicate flower who it’s my job to constantly protect from people,'” says Andrew.
Andrew shares an excerpt of the letter:
Look, I love sex. It’s fun. And because I love my daughter, I want her to have all of the same delights in life that I do, and hopefully more. I don’t want to hear about the fine details because, heck, I don’t want those visuals any more than my daughter wants mine. But in the abstract, darling, go out and play.
Luke says having a 19-year-old daughter, just how to deal with the issue of sex is something that he thinks about often. He doesn’t think Steinmetz’s message is a bad one, but he thinks it’s one that would definitely mortify his daughter.
“I can tell you that if I wrote this sort of thing as a message to my 19-year-old daughter, she might be like, ‘Thank you for having an open mind about the choices I make in my life, but also please stop immediately broadcasting it on the Internet.'”
Luke says he and his daughter sort of dance around the issue. Both play the parts that will leave the other comfortable and happy.
“The kids pretend that they’re not doing stuff that’s not OK. The parents pretend like the kids are obeying the rules and taking their advice,” says Burbank. “It’s sort of like that scene where two people bump into each other and say, ‘Excuse me,’ ‘Excuse me,’ and they’ve both picked each other’s pockets.”
But Luke thinks there’s a place for the dance.
“Even though it’s a little old-fashioned, even though it’s a little ridiculous, if my daughter who is 19 wants to party and drink alcohol and smoke weed, and do things that kids in college do, I appreciate a little bit of the dance happening.”
Steinmetz’s letter also indicates he’s big on letting his daughter make whatever mistakes she will, but Luke thinks it’s part of a parent’s job to offer insights they might have gleaned from their own experience or through their own knowledge of their kid.
Luke shares a portion of the letter:
You’re your own person, and some of the things you’re going to love will strike me as insane, ugly, or unenjoyable. This is how large and wonderful the world is! Imagine if everyone loved the same thing.
“Now that’s sort of a nice sentiment, but I think dads noticing if the person that their daughter loves is insane, ugly or unenjoyable, I think that is actually an important thing,” says Luke.
“I think parents are there to look out for their kids a little bit. You can’t control what your kids do, but if your kid gets into a relationship with someone who’s terrible for them, I think it’s reasonable for the parents to say, ‘I don’t think that’s great for you.'”