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Is there a less dangerous way Russia’s leader can prove his manhood?

In this video grab provided by RU-RTR Russian television via AP television on March 1, 2018, Russia's new Sarmat intercontinental ballistic missile blasts off during a test launch from an undisclosed location in Russia. President Vladimir Putin declared Thursday that Russia has developed a range of new nuclear weapons, claiming they can't be intercepted by enemies. (RU-RTR Russian Television via AP)

Just when everything was going so well, I turned on the news to hear Russia has developed a range of new nuclear weapons.

I no longer want to read minds

“In an address to the Russian people, Vladimir Putin claims he’s developed a new arsenal of weapons the U.S. cannot counter.”

And what would that be?

“These include a nuclear-powered cruise missile, a hypersonic missile that can strike anywhere, and a nuclear-powered underwater drone.”

Great! So now we have to upgrade our own arsenal with even sneakier missiles –– and suddenly we’re back to the Cold War.

I have been trying to look at the upside of all this. Cold wars do help employ all those people who were told to get STEM degrees.

And our military parade will now be twice as big.

Supposedly having a common enemy brings a nation together. Except, that sure didn’t happen during the last Cold War. We still battled over civil rights, Vietnam, women’s liberation, and men’s haircuts.

Apparently, it takes a police state to be truly free

Which brings us to the considerable downside of a cold war, like, for example, a Russian general presses the wrong button and instead of posting a phony Facebook article launches the invincible hypersonic missile.

I understand all leaders need to prove their manhood. I was just hoping that by now they’d find a less dangerous way to do it.

Why can’t Russia and the U.S. just launch hypersonic steel tariffs at each other?

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