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Single woman says Seattle men are too timid

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Freelance writer Danielle Campoamor, 26, has stirred plenty of conversation and controversy with a Seattle Times commentary lambasting Seattle men and the local dating scene. (Danielle Campoamor Twitter page) | Zoom
Nothing sums up Danielle Campoamor's dating experiences since moving from Alaska to Seattle than the meeting that ultimately led to her first relationship. She says it's a sad commentary on the state of Seattle men.

The 26-year-old freelance writer met her prospective suitor and chatted him up in a local bar. But despite some seeming sparks between them, the guy turned out to be so timid, he started to leave without taking any action, Danielle told KIRO Radio's Luke Burbank Show.

"So I actually turned around and gave him my number."

It's just one example of the dating struggles that prompted Danielle to write a widely circulated editorial in The Seattle Times that asks "what's wrong with Seattle's dating scene."

"It is just an entirely different world. The men here just seem to be timid or scared," she said of the commentary sparking a storm.

One guy even had his dad ask her on a date on his behalf. She actually went on the date, feeling "a little bad" for the guy. It led to what she called "one of the most substantial relationships" in her Seattle dating career.

Danielle doesn't know if it's fear of rejection or simply political correctness that keeps many Seattle guys at bay.

"People are so afraid of upsetting anyone," she said.

It's a far cry from her experiences in Alaska. There, rough-hewn men have no problem approaching women, asking for their phone numbers and buying them drinks. And there's little hesitation to get in a brawl if necessary "if it means gaining the attention of that one woman who caught their eye," she wrote in the editorial.

Danielle speculates too many men have fallen victim to technology, incapable of courting without a keyboard. While it might be easy to be aggressive on Facebook or Twitter, a face-to-face encounter is simply too overwhelming.

"If the woman is at all assertive, not even aggressive but just assertive and outgoing, joking around, they kind of just stand back and have no idea what to do at all."

Her editorial has sparked a strong reaction, with over 400 comments ranging from support to harsh criticism. But there has been one unexpected benefit for Danielle: an influx of dating offers. She's actually considering at least a couple.

"It's so embarrassing, but yeah" she laughed.

Danielle's advice for the guys out there? Stop over-thinking it and get over your fear.

"Sure there might be an awkward situation. Sure you might get rejected, but it isn't the end of the world. There are plenty of other people out there. And to miss out on opportunities because you're so afraid of what that other person might think or say is just a little ridiculous," she said.

Josh Kerns, MyNorthwest.com
Josh Kerns is an award winning reporter/anchor and host of KIRO Radio's Seattle Sounds (Sunday afternoons 5-6p) and a digital content producer for MyNorthwest.com.
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