DAVE ROSS

Facebook is like the Stormy Daniels of social media

Mar 28, 2018, 7:37 AM | Updated: 8:26 am

Facebook CEO...

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg is planning to testify before Congress about how his company collects and uses people’s data. (File, Associated Press)

(File, Associated Press)

Not to say we told you so, but we told you so.

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A lot of media have been warning for years that when you sign up with Facebook you agree that the service can “use your name, profile picture, content and information … to serve ads that are more relevant to you … without any compensation to you.”

I don’t know how they can even call it a privacy policy. It’s closer to an exhibitionist policy.

Facebook is like the Stormy Daniels of social media.

You were infatuated at first. You shared your life story, your hopes, your dreams, your favorite food, your favorite color. You believed you had a solid non-disclosure agreement. It was totally consensual — you thought you had an understanding.

And then, one day, you logged on, saw the ads, and you realized Facebook really wasn’t that into you. It only wanted your favorite color so it could sell you overpriced pink yoga pants. It only wanted to know your favorite food so it could sell you the digital meat thermometer.

It is a beautiful thermometer. I’m still not sure why I bought four of them. Somehow I couldn’t help myself. The yoga pants aren’t bad either. They match my 400-watt vegetable juicer.


Facebook, oh Facebook,
You done me so wrong.

You promised me privacy
Then strung me along

You shared all my secrets
My photographs too-

And you got me to vote
To elect you know who.

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Facebook is like the Stormy Daniels of social media