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While I enjoy fruit much more than Luke I am on his side here. Let's talk about pears. I've never had one that wasn't a pale imitation of an apple. How would you like a piece of fruit that isn't very juicy or flavorful, but has the added benefit of being as tough to chew as 40 grit sandpaper? I understand we need pears as they are cheap, bland, and serve as the base for most of the fruit juices we consume but let's keep them on the farm and off my dinner table. And if pears are so awesome where is my pear pie?

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TBTL ladies love The Mummy. Who wouldn't love The Mummy? He's a smart, handsome middle aged bounder crashing in a utility shed behind your neighbors house. His whole carefree, brother can you spare some gin lifestyle has genuine appeal. And I believe he's a statistical oddity. I doubt there are any other debonair, English speaking, Caucasian males in the Seattle area who don't have a bank account. He says "FEH" to white privilege! Bravo, sir!

I love it when Andrew talks about his father. They seem to have a special relationship that bridges the difference in their political views. While the Cuyahoga Clam is fiscally Hodor and socially Hodor his dad is the opposite. If I were Clam Sr. I would constantly be saying "your grandfather didn't work in the Frisbee mines for 53 years to see you run your sausage hole about global Hordor and Hodor credits!"

My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I will keep posting about only using the left lane for passing until your eyes permanently roll back in your head. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out Takedown Podcast's FB page where we share regional snacks by mailing them to one another. What could go wrong?

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On Friday Andrew mentioned that he had a "wake-up call" at the doctor recently when he was told he was gaining weight and losing height. I am also becoming more of a shapely gal as I age but the point was driven home even more starkly recently.

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Being both hungry and cheap, I decided to go to work early and fix myself something before the shift. I made a nice plate of pasta and sat down in a near empty dining room to enjoy my meal. While sprinkling Parmesan cheese out of the shaker I noticed my moobs were jigglng. I thought "this is a sign, buddy, you need to make some changes." Right then and there I decided I could never let this happen again. As God is my witness, from that day forward, I always unscrew the cap and pour the cheese onto my pasta.

Now that my Cheddar Bays are out of the way (well they are still kind of in the way if I try to play golf) it's time to address the elephant in the room. And I'm not talking about Hodor Kotb because as Emily and I were FB stalking him yesterday we decided he looks pretty damn good. It's the fact that the door was opened on Friday for a return to the TBTL Weigh In at the start of every show. Luke was kind enough to put it out to a vote on the sTens page and immediately the Yes votes took a commanding lead from what I can only assume were mostly people who hadn't yet heard Friday's show. Luke seemed ambivalent and Andrew all but said he doesn't want to do it, mostly because it's from an era of the show of which he was not a participant. sTens I implore you to stop the weigh-ins. Middle-aged white guys have been through enough. Why should they suffer for our nostalgia?

NOTE: Kam Chancellor will not be discussed here, I just wanted to put up a picture of Kam Chancellor.

My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where it's nothing but screen grabs from local TV weather reports indicating that I am cold. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out Takedown Podcast's FB page where we just posted a new show chock full of great ideas by me.

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Give snake owners, ferret enthusiasts, and recumbent bicyclists credit. They were trailblazers for the "look at me" culture. Let's include Luke's unicycling in this, because you actually have to actually DO something. Taking care of an exotic animal or learning to ride a unicycle may not be rocket surgery, but it's something. Today's attention seeker just holds a phone up to a disgusting bathroom mirror, makes duck lips, and fires it out over Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Vine, Yo, Ello, Oodbye, and all other corners of the internet for creepers to creep on.

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In another callback to the holiday show intros Camaro Kev talked about Sammy Hagar's greatest songs and embarrassed himself by neglecting to mention the Red Rocker's Three Lock Box. This video is not the best representation of the concept, as none of the young ladies in it seem to be guarding their purity with any enthusiasm, much less hardware. But it is a fine example of Hagar's less horrible work.

Just received the new issue of Sidekick Weekly and finally saw a mention of the Cuyahoga Clam under Hank Kingsley's "Hey Now!" column. Hank speculates that Luke is holding off firing Andrew because he's confident that cigarettes and pastrami will take care of the problem, putting Hodor Kotb to rest in the marble orchard and opening the door for Alison Rosen as the new TBTL News Girl.

My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I often post about disgusting looking miracle fruits. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out Takedown Podcast's FB page where feelings are played with like a loose tooth.

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Happy New Year fellow Tens. I hope this post finds you in better shape than Emily and Cullen, who are coughing so violently that I'm sure they are headed to the marble orchard. While I do my best to take care of them I wanted to take a moment to tell y'all how much I enjoy being a part of this TBTL community. It's a bright spot in every day for me.

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Emily gave me a subscription to Sidekick News for Christmas so I could keep up on "Andrew being fired" news. Nothing yet but the investigative piece about missing person Jennifer Andrews was compelling. And I saw an ad in the back from someone looking to buy a house in Port Townsend. Don't worry, Alison Rosen, we'll find you a nice place to live before you start your new job.

On one of the replay shows Luke talked about going to Jo-Ann's Fabrics. He made two common mistakes. One? It's Jo-Ann Fabrics. Two? Yes, you are probably the only straight man in the building, but it is a building full of people who hang out at Jo-Ann Fabrics. Better to send the wife and enjoy at least 40 minutes alone at home, where you also know you are the only straight man in the building. So get busy, son.

My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where it's all about telling you what I paid for gas today. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out Takedown Podcast's FB page where we just did a show about last meals that nearly made me expire from hilarity.

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atoastto

Dear Friendos, during the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it's easy to forget to take the time to raise a toast to the important things in life. Things like:

#AToastTo The Tens of Listeners… who continue to listen to TBTL despite all the barriers Luke and Andrew create to enjoying the show.

#AToastTo Elevens… who don't even like TBTL, but are forced to listen, despite all the barriers Luke and Andrew create to enjoying the show.

#AToastTo Andrew… for apologizing profusely during the show, and then later apologizing for all the apologizing.

#AToastTo Susie Burbank… who never met a deal she didn't like or a carton of milk she didn't freeze (and forget to thaw out)

#AToastTo Rudy… For barking incessantly during the show, and often being the only interesting part of said episode.

Got one to add? Head over to twitter and use the hashtag #AToastTo and we'll see it and retweet it!

— Luke

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