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Dude. Andrew's bar fight story was intense. It was almost surreal, too, because we all know that Andrew is a super nice guy who wouldn't be mean to anyone. That lady was crazy, though. I'm surprised he left a tip at all, although I guess fifty cents is almost more a slap in the face than leaving nothing. What he should've done is draw a perfect copy of the emoji that's a smiling pile of poop. That would've showed her.

Is it okay?!

SavedBytheBell-cartoon

Beef is worse than pork and poultry when it comes to the environment: The problem with studies is next week there will be another study which says that pigs' urine is slowly burning a hole into the ground and in 3000 years the Earth will look like Swiss cheese. Eat what you wanna eat. It's all going to burn anyway and our grandkids will probably colonize Mars so it's all good.

Name dropping: Yes, it's totally okay to name drop. It can break the ice in an awkward situation. It can freeze the ice if you're talking to someone you don't wanna keep talking to. It can make a story interesting or it could be a segue into a whole new awesome conversation. I say this as someone who has zero names to drop, though, so what do I know?

Amazon and the CIA: I guess this makes me a cynic, but I just assume that everything I do or say or put online is available to the world if they're smart enough to access it. To me this whole "cloud" thing will just make it easier for the government to know that I've almost bought the complete series of Daria on DVD about 712 times.

-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

Song of the Day: When They Fight They Fight by TheGenerationals

My Song of the Day: Mistakes We Knew We Were Making by Mae

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Sorry about the silence yesterday everyone. This albino was alsicko. I think the heat got to me or something. I'm on the mend though thanks mostly to alternating water, Gatorade, and meatloaf. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I'm actually typing this from bed so pardon the brevity, but I couldn't let you guys head into your weekend without my inane thoughts on things.

SavedBytheBell-cartoon

1. I love Luke's mom. Every story he tells endears me to her even more. Much like her, "I say, I say, what's up dog?" I too have a phrase I say when I'm confused. "Thank you, Paul Bunyan?" It's borrowed from a good friend of mine who I think borrowed it from a friend of hers. Circle of life and all.

2. Andrew is adorable when he talks about his stuffed animals. And he also has the best laugh. Seriously. My stuffed animal tale is this. When I was born, because of the whole albinism thing, no one was sure if I could really see or not because, ya know, you can't really play the "how many fingers am I holding up?" game with a newborn. Go figure. It wasn't until I was a month or two old when I looked over at a Garfield stuffed animal and smiled at it. That's how my folks knew I could see. Sweet, right? It also embedded in me a love for Garfield which is where I learned the art of sarcasm.

3. After today, I would add Wordpress.com tech support to the list that shall not be named.

4. As far as candy I'd include in the bag, I'd have to say Chick-o-Sticks Bit-O-Honey, and anything else with an O in the middle.

5. Have a great weekend! Rumor has it you'll be hearing me on the show sometime in the near future.

-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

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In the name of all that is holy, stop talking about food!!! Oh, and congrats for being 188, Luke.

SavedBytheBell-cartoon

I can't talk about Weird Al. I will just say that my husband could not be more happy with Al's new tunes, and I could not be less happy.

So Andrew thinks if he worries enough about something it'll work itself out and Burbank believes in jinxes. What inexplicable thing do I believe in?

Monsters under the bed.

For reals guys. I guess it's not necessarily monsters, but if I don't fall asleep fast enough, my imagination convinces me that if I open my eyes there's going to be an alien staring at me. Or if I stick my foot out of the bed, some creepy thing is going to grab it and… I don't know… tickle it or something.

I'm feeling very vulnerable now. Please share your weird inexplicable belief so I don't feel so alone.

-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

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Evidently I'm never going to lose weight while blogging for this podcast. Will the food talk never end? I've given up hope and will be diving into my kids' dino chicken nuggets as soon as I write this. If I last that long.

So Burbank's on KIRO this week and… part of TBTL is on KIRO… but we're listening to it before it's on KIRO…? That was too confusing for me. I was actually listening to Burbank on KIRO before putting on TBTL and it was like old times… except I didn't start listening until after they were off the air. So… it was like an alternate Archie universe old times for me.

Are you following? Me either.

SavedBytheBell-cartoon

If you're interested in reading the full ESPN story on Michael Sam — the first openly gay NFL player — you can do so here. Maybe it's because I'm a woman or because I'm quasi-liberal, but the fact that this whole thing is news just does not compute. Are we really naïve enough to think that straight dudes weren't sizing up other straight dudes in the shower? I mean, kudos to the Rams for making him feel like one of the guys, but… I don't know. The idea that guys showering after practice is a big deal just makes me shake my head in disbelief. Aren't there real tragedies occurring like the whole Cleveland-James debacle?

Time for me to have some nuggets.

-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

P.S. I apologize for not keeping on the songs of the day and am getting back into the habit starting now. As a reminder, my music taste isn't all that great.

TBTL Song of the Day: Pizza Pie by Norman Fox & Rob Roys
My Song of the Day: What's Going On by Marvin Gaye

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Why are the guys determined to ruin my nights this week? Wednesday night it was talking about awesome food. Thursday night it was freaking me out with talking about torture and bugs and creepy movie scenes. Not awesome.

SavedBytheBell-cartoon

Detroit should sell the art. I was going to find some way to ease into the topic, but that's the bottom line. If your people are suffering, your city is dying, and there's a means to an end (am I using that phrase right?) then the city should take that opportunity. It's like when I was struggling to pay rent back in my college days and I had to sell my nice guitar so I could make ends meet. I made the sacrifice for the better good. Sell the art, Detroit.

While I'm ranting about poor decisions, I am completely disgusted by the satire site saying that Curley had died. Not funny. Just rude and mean. Why make up mean things when there's plenty of real stuff to be mean about on the internet? And why be mean in the first place? This week I had a post go up on a super popular mommy blog and some of the comments towards the piece, and me as a mom, were just so awful. I don't understand why people have to share their anger issues on the internet. It makes me sad.

And oh my word I am so with Burbank on the favoriting tweets things. Retweet or move on. Unless you really like something I said. Then I guess I'll take a favorite. I need the positive affirmation.

This has been a rollercoaster of emotion blog post brought to you by the Widowmaker or whatever that ride is called.

-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

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TBTL Backyard Picnic
When: Thursday, August 28, 6:30pm to 9pm
Where: Chateau Ste. Michelle lawn | Map
What: It's down home potluck style, so bring a dish to share with your Tens friends. Well behaved and leashed dogs are welcome. There will be lawn games, karaoke and of course TBTL.

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