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My husband's name, as well as the names of both our children, begins with L so I often go around singing "T-T-T-Toni and the L's..."

If you're looking for a new drinking game, listen to Wednesday's episode and take a shot every time I say "um" or "like." Tired and emotional guaranteed.

So here's the thing. What do YOU want from this blog? You're reading it now so you've gotta be looking for something. Do you want humorous recaps? Opinions on something the guys said? Should the blog have its own segments? Contests? Giveaways? I welcome any and all suggestions. TBTL is for the listeners and I want the blog to be the same way.

And since Andrew doesn't want people sending him cookies, I will take them all.

-Toni // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

I was worried halfway through Tuesday's show that I'd have to talk about religion. Thank goodness for crabby cabbies and dead flowers.

Here's the thing. I think Luke is full of it. I honestly believe that the stick he uses to measure his life fulfillment is not how many people he can cram into a concert hall. He's married to a great lady, he's raised an awesome daughter, and he has one of the single cutest animals to ever grace the earth with her urine. He's a lucky dude and he knows it. I know he knows it because he says how great those people and pets are in his life. So I think he's full of it.


I think we all have some flowers we're grasping for. I know I do. I'm in a super bizarre place in life where I'm trying to build a brand and oh em gee I can't believe I said that. But it's true. I'm trying to get my name out there because there are some flowers I want to hold for a while. I want to be published. I want to make some money writing. I want to tell people my ideas and have those ideas resonate with them. I want those flowers.

And that's okay. I'm okay with the flowers wilting because at least I got them delivered to me, right? I'd rather have the chance to hold some flowers and watch them die than to never place an order with the Almighty florist. (And I said I wouldn't talk religion. Dangit.)

I don't think many, if any, of us tens are basing our success in life by the things we want to accomplish and achieve and win. We're all over the top realistic about our stations in life and most of us are probably even viewing our lives through a more Eeyore-like lens than what's actually our reality. CoughAndrewCough.

This is a hodgepodge of poor analogies so I'll end with this. Get some flowers. Enjoy holding them. Watch them wilt. Dry them out and press them in a book and look back on the amazing accomplishments in your life.

Then go to CrossFit.

-Toni @realtonihammer whitestten@gmail.com


hand in a box

I had some alternate titles:
1. Let Me Massage Your Feelings
2. Sound Leakage
3. Me Sad Banh Mi

I took the straight road route since, let's face it, there's going to be plenty of time to make cheeky headlines. Between you and me-we all know Luke and Andrew don't read the blog-I was pretty surprised it went as smoothly as it did. Of course now I'm going to dream about drowning under packing peanuts for the next couple weeks.

Seriously, though, I thought the show was great! I know I was a bit melancholy in the last post about how things are changing and cry me a river and such. Today's show, though, put my mind at ease. It's still Luke being super self-conscious about inconsequential things, and Andrew obsessing about if he's going to go the gym or not. Everything's the same! We're just going to have a whole new cast of characters to hear about like sunbathing cat lady. Cheers to the future!

Here's today's homework. Please use a number two pencil and if you don't know the answer- just put C.

What should be the name of this new version of TBTL?
Do baristas, bartenders, butchers, bakers, candlestick makers, etc. care about tips?
Extra credit: During which version of the show did you start listening and what's your favorite memory thus far?

I'll end with my two cents on the barista question. I worked at a coffee shop in Portland International Airport for a couple months and normally worked the 5 a.m. shift. That's when the floodgates open and every person in that long security line wants coffee and they want it ten minutes ago. I thought I needed coffee in the morning and my addiction paled (get it? Pale? I'm albino?) in comparison to the businessmen and businesswomen needing their cup o' joe before their flight. I was more concerned one of them was going to eat my face than I was worrying if they were going to leave a tip.




red eyes, runny nose
bees, pollen, sun, oh my!
spring time has arrived

My son's nose running like Carl Lewis tells me that spring has arrived. In the Crash Pad of Pale, that means it's time to open the windows, clean out the closet, and make some serious life modifications.

I don't know about you, but I've been struggling a bit with the changing scenery of TBTL. For years its headquarters has been the house with too many steps in Seattle. Even when Luke's in Chicago, or Jen is in an undisclosed Midwest location, the show's soggy roots were always firmly planted in the Emerald City. It's been my imaginary home away from home: comfortable, lived in, and I don't worry too much if I leave a towel on the bathroom floor.

Now Andrew is getting tan in So Cal, and Luke's on his way to Port Townsend with the treadmill strapped to his back because he couldn't bring himself to ask the movers to take it. Seattle is no longer TBTL's residence.

Rather than fear the future— which is my first instinct towards any transition—I've chosen to be inspired by the new paths the gents are forging. They're taking chances. They're altering their personal status quo. They're going for greener pastures. Now's the season for all of us to make some adjustments to our lives. In the summer we're too excited about barbecues and bonfires; in the fall we're caught up in complaining about how we miss summer; in the winter we're just trying to keep warm. Spring is the time of new life for the flowers and us as well.

If you have a dream, I think now is the time to go after it. Start that small business, write that novel, learn to do a cartwheel. Whatever it is you've always wanted to do, but didn't think you could, I encourage to run after it. If you try and fail you'll most likely get a good story out of it at the very least. If you don't try, though, you'll never know.

This cheesy, inspirational blog post has been brought to you by Toni, the dreaming Ten.


What the heckfire, Burbank? I don't know who Tony is, but I did not agree this. MUTINY! This is me, officially declaring mutiny. If Luke still lived in Seattle I would drive to his house right now and set him on fire.


More like Luke BURNbank

Pysch out. I'm a couple weeks behind on the show, so I don't know what Luke has said about the blog situation, but Toni is the new primary future former blogger, and she's already killing the game. I'll still be around. I'll see you every other weekend, some holidays, and for three weeks in the summer. I want you to know I don't love you any less, and if you tell me what snacks Toni won't let you have, I'll make sure my kitchen is stocked with them when you come over - and you have to tell me if Toni has any late night visitors.

Song of the every other weekend Antisocial Gucci Mane

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