Emotions are running high among the Tens. Just when things seemed to be simmering down Luke's sister Rachel came over the boards, pulled a sweater over a mean emailer's head and started raining blows. It was a stunning and ultimately heartwarming display of familial devotion. Also, it's now in the top five reasons to always be nice to Luke. We love you, Rachel Flora Burbank!
To heck with whether the fellas voted and if they feel remorse about it, there's something more important to discuss. We can't let Andrew talk sports anymore. Our rabbit, Branson, knows who John Wooden is and that the Cowboys and Lions always play games on Thanksgiving. First the Clam embarrasses himself by saying the Browns used to play in the NFC and now this? He's as qualified to talk about sports as Hot Greg is to review Grammys shows he doesn't watch.
Emily's son, Cullen, who is in college, loves Eminem. There is so much Eminem loaded onto every piece of electronics we own it's like being catrolled 10 times a day. But instead of some lovely meows it's an embarrassing white guy spitting rhymes and near rhymes from every speaker in the house and car. It would be a personal favor to me if Marshall Mathers stopped making "music" and moved on to the NCIS Jacksonville portion of his career.
My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I'll keep you updated on our hot neighbor's movements. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out the Takedown Podcast Facebook page where we're tracking the progress of a quadruple amputee who murdered his parents and is currently on the roll from authorities.
Much of yesterday's show was spent debating how important it is to vote. In theory everyone should vote but have you talked to people lately? Yikes! Here's my idea. Take 1,000 people in every local election and ask them to read the Voter's Guide. The first person who can successfully summarize every initiative and size up the qualifications and stances of the candidates gets to decide everything. Hopefully he/she will be a nice person and a benevolent dictator but at least we won't be in despair that dummies control our fate.
As many of you know, I was convicted of 38 felonies and am not allowed to vote. Disenfranchised is the fancy term, but it's only for voting. With $4,800 and a dream I can still own a Quizno's. What's odd is that after I got out of prison King County found me and sent me a new voter ID. The FBI probably forgot to tell them I was a danger to democracy. So until I moved to Austin I voted like a madman. On arriving in Texas someone must have leaked the fact that I was a felon because I can't get a voter ID, library card, or even a frequent diner card at Port O'Subs. Travis County officials did, however, give me several guns, concealed and open carry permits, plus a tasty buttermilk ranch dressing recipe as Texas law requires.
While Luke failed to participate in the democratic process yesterday, he successfully carried out Phase Two of our Catroll Cabal's "Holiday Magic" plan. We all felt the thrill when Dave Ross and Michael Medved serenaded Andrew with a chorus of melodious meows. I know you're all anxious to see what our "click clique" has planned next for the Cuyahoga Clam. Patience, my pets. Patience.
My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where for some reason I'm totally surprised old white folks carried midterm elections. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out the Takedown Podcast Facebook page where dummies attack dummies on the regular.
The larger issue of public radio's direction is too complex for my glib style and limited space, but there seem to be some flowers growing through the concrete. LiveWire, Wits, even Snap Judgment with the self-loving Glynn Washington are bringing new formats, ideas, and sharp content to the airwaves. It's up to us to cast aside the same old, tired shows and support these up and comers.
I told the Tens it wasn't over. Our Catroll Cabal held a web conference last Wednesday and hammered out plans for the next six weeks. Phase one was Friday night's massive breach of trust between Andrew and Bean Baxter. The Cuyahoga Clam is right that, due to his really looking forward to opening that email, this one cut to the bone. Shout out to "Senior Operative" Bean on a job well executed. We think you will also enjoy Phase Two and please keep those suggestion cards and letters coming.
My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where if I were able to vote today I would never stop patting myself on the back about it . Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out the Takedown Podcast Facebook page where Matt's language is so foul that some listeners can't even keep up.
Purple Rain was a staple because one of my best friends was crazy about it. Morris Day and all the terrible acting made it fun, though. I memorized Blue Velvet just for college student cred. But the movie I actually loved was Pee-wee's Big Adventure. It was corny and creepy and, despite my smooth, handsome persona I am also both of those things. It was hard to find people to go with me. I dragged my friend Karla to the film several times, each time she was drunker than the last. She has no memory of the film.
I've rewatched all three movies lately. Purple Rain, while the music holds up, is epically bad. Blue Velvet is visually stunning but otherwise wooden. Pee-wee, however, still brings the fastball. There should be a looping video of the Jan Hooks scene at the new Phil Collins Alamo Museum, right next to the "Corn Versatility" exhibit. Let's erase Big Top Pee-wee and tape the new sequel over it.
My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I'll make dirty comments on threads your grandparents are clearly following . Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out the Takedown Podcast Facebook page where my co-host Matt hates everyone else who embraces his vegetarian, earthship building ways.
Fresh out of prison I landed a job in Tukwila, about five minutes from Sea-Tac airport. I drove to work in my brother's old rusty, mildewed, Camaro that overheated at every stoplight unless you shut off the engine. It was a generous gift as I wasn't going to be able to afford a car for a while, but I always parked far away from the office entrance. My co-workers already knew I was an ex-con, but a guy who drives a Camaro? Nope.
The neighborhood Luke parked in is very near where I lived for the first six years after my release. Many nice people live there and there's a good chance his Toyota will be pristine when he Ubers back over there on Tuesday. There's also a chance my old friend Bruce and his three mangy ferrets will be living in there, rent free. But when you're trying to save $8.99 a day you take your chances.
Get ready for #KetchupGate, fellas. There's nothing foodies take more seriously than "NO KETCHUP ON HOT DOGS!" When Luke was asking why mustard was standard at Wienerschnitzel and ketchup wasn't I pictured laser beams of hate shooting out from under "hipster fat guy" hats all over the world. Thankfully I live in Austin where you can order anything you want as long as you take the mandatory side of ranch dressing.
My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I'm all about Russian car crash videos. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out the Takedown Podcast Facebook page where we're doing a Kickstarter for Burnedy's, a restaurant that will serve only burnt food.