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I have a bone to pick with both the guys today. First Andrew and his movie chatter. He admits to not having seen most of the films nominated, yet complains they are probably boring because they're based on true stories. Have we seen so many films about John DuPont or the handsome sniper fella that we're pre-bored with their portrayals and tired stories about crazy obsessions with Olympic wrestlers or shooting Persian children in the head?

Cullen and I saw Foxcatcher on Wednesday night. Good film with brilliant performances, particularly by Mark Ruffalo. The director is Bennett Miller, who also did Capote and Moneyball. Also movies based on real people who probably bore Andrew to death. I may never see one of Miller's films in the theater again because while I love them, he employs very minimal soundtracks. These are quiet movies. It took me two hours to eat a small bag of popcorn because I had to wait and wait and quickly wolf down as much as I could during a helicopter ride or wrestling match scene. I may have to go to some louder, mouthbreathing fare such as The Wedding Ringer. Or as I call it, Dorf On Hitch.

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Finally, I'm angry at Luke over his MmmBop video. He could have just sent it over to Linh Pham and that would have been the end of it. Instead, he slaps it up on the sTens page, Emily sees it and is more determined than ever for us to move to Port Townsend. The video is very obviously staged. It's not raining, there's a dog asking to play, some carefully arranged cows, a racoon doing his best Bill Radke deadpan at the camera… I'm quite sure that if Luke panned down a little at the end we would have seen a bluebird on his shoulder. Knock it off!

My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I drunkenly post song lyrics with impunity. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out Takedown Podcast's FB page where we celebrate regional cuisine. Ohio is most famous for soup, gum and cigarettes.

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On Wednesday Andrew talked about his fear of being handcuffed, specifically behind the back. While I don't know how that would even work with his specific body type, I can sympathize. In 1993 I turned myself in at the Bellevue police station to face 38 felony charges and was transported to King County Jail handcuffed in this fashion. Never has my nose itched so badly, and even more humiliating I had to change the radio station with my tongue.

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For better or worse, once in federal custody it was almost always shackles, meaning my hands and ankles were tightly chained together in front of me. I have little complaint with the U.S. Marshals, as they were always respectful and kind while transporting me from jails to holding cells to prisons. One time while moving from Pierce County Jail to the Puyallup lockup on my (eventual) way to FCI Sheridan in Oregon the marshals stopped the van at McDonald's, bought some food and unshackled us so we could feel human for ten minutes while firing back burgers.

The day of my sentencing I had one veteran U.S. Marshal and one rookie. When it was time to face Judge Dimmick they retrieved me from the holding pen in the federal courthouse and the vet let the rookie try his hand at the shackling process. He struggled a bit but eventually it was a go and they escorted me into the wide marble hallway leading to my courtroom. The hall was jammed that day due to a high school field trip so there at least a hundred kids watching as I shuffled along in my "felony red" pajamas. After a few seconds I saw their eyes widen, hands over mouths, pointing at my feet. The rookie's shackle work had come undone and Clip Clop's felonious hooves were unencumbered. The marshals didn't notice as they were close to my sides, each holding an elbow. I leaned over to the veteran and told him what happened. We steered into an empty courtroom and corrected the problem but just for a minute some of those kids thought there might be a "Fugitive" situation jumping off.

NOTE: Here is the Encyclopedia Britanica ad kid Andrew was referencing, btw, complete with Ross Schaffer (Morty the Agent's dad) on voiceover.

My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I'm trying to keep FitMob's sexy ad on my page by mentioning them in my status updates. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out Takedown Podcast's FB page where we just published Dominique Wilkins' knee replacement X-rays.

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While I enjoy fruit much more than Luke I am on his side here. Let's talk about pears. I've never had one that wasn't a pale imitation of an apple. How would you like a piece of fruit that isn't very juicy or flavorful, but has the added benefit of being as tough to chew as 40 grit sandpaper? I understand we need pears as they are cheap, bland, and serve as the base for most of the fruit juices we consume but let's keep them on the farm and off my dinner table. And if pears are so awesome where is my pear pie?

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TBTL ladies love The Mummy. Who wouldn't love The Mummy? He's a smart, handsome middle aged bounder crashing in a utility shed behind your neighbors house. His whole carefree, brother can you spare some gin lifestyle has genuine appeal. And I believe he's a statistical oddity. I doubt there are any other debonair, English speaking, Caucasian males in the Seattle area who don't have a bank account. He says "FEH" to white privilege! Bravo, sir!

I love it when Andrew talks about his father. They seem to have a special relationship that bridges the difference in their political views. While the Cuyahoga Clam is fiscally Hodor and socially Hodor his dad is the opposite. If I were Clam Sr. I would constantly be saying "your grandfather didn't work in the Frisbee mines for 53 years to see you run your sausage hole about global Hordor and Hodor credits!"

My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I will keep posting about only using the left lane for passing until your eyes permanently roll back in your head. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out Takedown Podcast's FB page where we share regional snacks by mailing them to one another. What could go wrong?

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On Friday Andrew mentioned that he had a "wake-up call" at the doctor recently when he was told he was gaining weight and losing height. I am also becoming more of a shapely gal as I age but the point was driven home even more starkly recently.

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Being both hungry and cheap, I decided to go to work early and fix myself something before the shift. I made a nice plate of pasta and sat down in a near empty dining room to enjoy my meal. While sprinkling Parmesan cheese out of the shaker I noticed my moobs were jigglng. I thought "this is a sign, buddy, you need to make some changes." Right then and there I decided I could never let this happen again. As God is my witness, from that day forward, I always unscrew the cap and pour the cheese onto my pasta.

Now that my Cheddar Bays are out of the way (well they are still kind of in the way if I try to play golf) it's time to address the elephant in the room. And I'm not talking about Hodor Kotb because as Emily and I were FB stalking him yesterday we decided he looks pretty damn good. It's the fact that the door was opened on Friday for a return to the TBTL Weigh In at the start of every show. Luke was kind enough to put it out to a vote on the sTens page and immediately the Yes votes took a commanding lead from what I can only assume were mostly people who hadn't yet heard Friday's show. Luke seemed ambivalent and Andrew all but said he doesn't want to do it, mostly because it's from an era of the show of which he was not a participant. sTens I implore you to stop the weigh-ins. Middle-aged white guys have been through enough. Why should they suffer for our nostalgia?

NOTE: Kam Chancellor will not be discussed here, I just wanted to put up a picture of Kam Chancellor.

My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where it's nothing but screen grabs from local TV weather reports indicating that I am cold. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out Takedown Podcast's FB page where we just posted a new show chock full of great ideas by me.

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Give snake owners, ferret enthusiasts, and recumbent bicyclists credit. They were trailblazers for the "look at me" culture. Let's include Luke's unicycling in this, because you actually have to actually DO something. Taking care of an exotic animal or learning to ride a unicycle may not be rocket surgery, but it's something. Today's attention seeker just holds a phone up to a disgusting bathroom mirror, makes duck lips, and fires it out over Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Vine, Yo, Ello, Oodbye, and all other corners of the internet for creepers to creep on.

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In another callback to the holiday show intros Camaro Kev talked about Sammy Hagar's greatest songs and embarrassed himself by neglecting to mention the Red Rocker's Three Lock Box. This video is not the best representation of the concept, as none of the young ladies in it seem to be guarding their purity with any enthusiasm, much less hardware. But it is a fine example of Hagar's less horrible work.

Just received the new issue of Sidekick Weekly and finally saw a mention of the Cuyahoga Clam under Hank Kingsley's "Hey Now!" column. Hank speculates that Luke is holding off firing Andrew because he's confident that cigarettes and pastrami will take care of the problem, putting Hodor Kotb to rest in the marble orchard and opening the door for Alison Rosen as the new TBTL News Girl.

My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I often post about disgusting looking miracle fruits. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out Takedown Podcast's FB page where feelings are played with like a loose tooth.

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