Andrew, like you I have lived as a fugitive. I know what it's like to live in fear. Not knowing whom to trust or where to turn. How did they get to my girlfriend? Why did Toni the blogger choose THIS week to step aside? Can I be sure they haven't gotten to my co-workers? Well, sir, you might think you're safe in your ivory basement in Santa Monica producing your fancy public radio show. But think about it. Do they have motives? You steal jokes from them, take off in the middle of the day to party down over at the DMV, sometimes you don't even get to work before 6:15. You are not safe. You have no sanctuary.
The next time your dad calls you from a Courtyard by Marriott are you confident he won't put the receiver up to his laptop speaker and let the fur fly? And don't click that horribly misspelled conservative blog post on your sister's Facebook page because she might also be doing you Dirt. If the affable Bean Baxter from KROQ's popular morning radio show Kevin & Bean is on board how far does the conspiracy go?
To quote the late Senator John Blutarsky "Was it over when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! And it ain't over now. Nothing is over until WE decide it is." Andrew, we are not to be mocked or trifled with. One of us drives a Toyota Yaris so you KNOW we have nothing to lose. This is the part where the terrorists usually make their demands. But we are not terrorists, sir. We are but simple folk doing a kickass job at TakedownPodcast.com (cue the AC/DC) and you will continue to suffer at our merciless hands.
I'm killing it all day and every night @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. You can also friend me on Facebook because I'm nice to everyone except Jo Ellen McCawley. I go by my "government" Mike Frizzell.
It turns out that gamers (and those who watch them) are sensitive about the hobby and the attendant stereotypes. They came after Luke on social media and even on our own sTens Facebook page. Why are they so touchy? I think it's because they know deep down it's a waste of time. If someone came after me about the charity work I've done it wouldn't bother me at all. But start talking about my addiction to cheese and we have a problem.
I was 10 in 1975 when my older cousins got Pong for Christmas. I watched them play for hours, but only because I was waiting for them to take a bathroom break, start fighting, or fall asleep so my brother and I could have a turn. If you're watching for other reasons, bless your heart, but maybe you should go outside and do some wooden boating. My tombstone may say I wished I had played more Donkey Kong but it won't say I wish I had gone to the Staples Center to watch some pasty Korean teenager play Halo 5: Guardians via satellite.
If you find Luke, Andrew or TBTL offensive please pre-bunch your panties and come over to TakedownPodcast.com to check out my show. It will offend you almost immediately and keep offending until you turn off the radio with a snarl because you SUDDENLY REALIZED we were talking to you.
I'm killing it all day and every night @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. You can also friend me on Facebook because I'm always nice. My "government" is Mike Frizzell.
I can identify in a couple of ways. Before I moved to Austin to marry Emily I used to do two things for a living that I hated:
1) Public Speaking
2) Driving to Portland
Just like Luke I was good at these things but dreaded them. I'm much happier now that I co-host a lightly listened to podcast (TakedownPodcast.com) and rarely have to drive very far to encounter hipsters. I was also shocked a while back when the iTunes numbers showed my podcast with huge (for us) listenership, especially for the episodes with Walsh, Burbank, and Pesca. It's a relief to know that it was just a few diehards checking in.
Here's hoping Toni gets to sleep in past six and Andrew the Cuyahoga Clam enjoys a three day TBTL weekend without getting cat-rolled.
If you want more Toni you can find her at ToniHammer.com or on Twitter @realtonihammer and I'm killing it all day and every night @drewmcfrizz on Twitter.
And tonight I was all set to write something amazing… and then they played a poop song and made some heinous accusations about my political leanings. I'm not saying if they're right or wrong, but I am saying that I believe in the separation of politics and podcast blogging and they crossed the line.
So I stopped listening.
(This is a mockery of a sham. I'm sick. Have a good weekend.)
-toni hammer // email@example.com //@realtonihammer
Luke Pro: He's really into the idea of building a boat which could come in handy.
Luke Con: Can he really build a boat?
Andrew Pro: Always has a clipboard with which to bludgeon the zombies (back) to death.
Andrew Con: Picky eater. Could he give up his food hang ups in the name of survival?
Luke Pro: Able to speak and write well. Maybe he could schmooze the zombies into eating the guy in the tent across the street.
Luke Con: The Big Dog could get him into trouble.
Andrew Pro: Neat freak. You'll need someone like that to make sure the needles are sterilized when you're being injected with some "maybe this will cure you" drug.
Andrew Con: Shies away from confrontation. Zombies are known for their aggression which may be his downfall.
Luke Pro: He enjoys karaoke. We'll need some entertainment during the war against the undead.
Luke Con: He dances like no one's watching. I don't think the zombies will be down with his moves.
Andrew Pro: Shy about dancing. Won't waste time waltzing to the sound of people being eaten.
Andrew Con: Being overly concerned that his hair is making him look like an astronaut.
Luke Pro: Wears shoes without socks. Ain't nobody got time for proper footwear during the apocalypse.
Luke Con: Might be too worried about what people think of his blood stained outfit instead of being worried about, you know, dying.
Andrew Pro: Owns a scooter for easier getaways.
Andrew Con: Owns a scooter so the zombies could have easier access.
Luke Pro: He likes dogs. Could possibly pull some dog whisperer stuff so we could have a guard dog.
Luke Con: Fear of sharks. Aren't zombies essentially land sharks?
Andrew Pro: Anxious worrier. We'll need someone who will think of the worst case scenario and how to avoid it.
Andrew Con: Anxious worrier. Find the silver lining, dude! Carpe diem!
P.S. I hate Luke for getting 12 hours of sleep.
-toni hammer // firstname.lastname@example.org // @realtonihammer