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red eyes, runny nose
bees, pollen, sun, oh my!
spring time has arrived

My son's nose running like Carl Lewis tells me that spring has arrived. In the Crash Pad of Pale, that means it's time to open the windows, clean out the closet, and make some serious life modifications.

I don't know about you, but I've been struggling a bit with the changing scenery of TBTL. For years its headquarters has been the house with too many steps in Seattle. Even when Luke's in Chicago, or Jen is in an undisclosed Midwest location, the show's soggy roots were always firmly planted in the Emerald City. It's been my imaginary home away from home: comfortable, lived in, and I don't worry too much if I leave a towel on the bathroom floor.

Now Andrew is getting tan in So Cal, and Luke's on his way to Port Townsend with the treadmill strapped to his back because he couldn't bring himself to ask the movers to take it. Seattle is no longer TBTL's residence.

Rather than fear the future— which is my first instinct towards any transition—I've chosen to be inspired by the new paths the gents are forging. They're taking chances. They're altering their personal status quo. They're going for greener pastures. Now's the season for all of us to make some adjustments to our lives. In the summer we're too excited about barbecues and bonfires; in the fall we're caught up in complaining about how we miss summer; in the winter we're just trying to keep warm. Spring is the time of new life for the flowers and us as well.

If you have a dream, I think now is the time to go after it. Start that small business, write that novel, learn to do a cartwheel. Whatever it is you've always wanted to do, but didn't think you could, I encourage to run after it. If you try and fail you'll most likely get a good story out of it at the very least. If you don't try, though, you'll never know.

This cheesy, inspirational blog post has been brought to you by Toni, the dreaming Ten.


What the heckfire, Burbank? I don't know who Tony is, but I did not agree this. MUTINY! This is me, officially declaring mutiny. If Luke still lived in Seattle I would drive to his house right now and set him on fire.


More like Luke BURNbank

Pysch out. I'm a couple weeks behind on the show, so I don't know what Luke has said about the blog situation, but Toni is the new primary future former blogger, and she's already killing the game. I'll still be around. I'll see you every other weekend, some holidays, and for three weeks in the summer. I want you to know I don't love you any less, and if you tell me what snacks Toni won't let you have, I'll make sure my kitchen is stocked with them when you come over - and you have to tell me if Toni has any late night visitors.

Song of the every other weekend Antisocial Gucci Mane

I grew up a die-hard Jeopardy fan. In my home, you got penalized if you shouted out the answer without phrasing it as a question and patronized for getting an answer wrong. My default answer to every question I didn't know was Taft; once in a while I got lucky. My twin sister and I would joke that if she were to be on a TV show it would be the Real World and if I had to choose it would be Jeopardy. Age and reality have taught me that I'm not smart enough to even attempt a try out. Luckily that was not the case for Ken Jennings who graced the show today (Wednesday) and will be on again tomorrow (Thursday). I am always pleasantly surprised at how utterly delightful he is. I keep expecting him to be a bland book smart dude, but he never ceases to be positively charming.


I loved what he had to say about the importance of educating and entertaining kids simultaneously. My oldest is almost two and she already has a general concept of the ABCs and counting—although it comes out as one, nine, two, four… but, hey, counting is hard! Her simple knowledge of these important life skills has nothing to do with me. While I'm chugging coffee and willing my eyes to open, she's watching Sesame Street. As much as I hate that stupid Mr. Noodle, I love the fact she's learning at such an early age due to the high entertainment value added to the material. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda sorta looking forward to the incessant "why?" questions because it means I'll get to learn some stuff too. At least until she learns to navigate to Wikipedia on her own at which point I can resume my days of lackluster parenting.

If you're in the Portland area and want to hear more from Ken, he'll be at Live Wire on April 26th. There's a small chance I'll be there wearing a fedora with "Press" written on it in crayon. And who knows? Maybe Andrew will be there looking for a job since Press Play lost to Live Wire in the most intense imaginary public radio contest ever held.

Love, T-money

Does anyone else think U-Haul should be a sponsor of the show?

I hope KPCC is proud of itself. Their all too coincidental match-up of Live Wire vs. Press Play is causing some real talk amongst our favorite brosephs and some sincere anxiety on the sTens Facebook page.


Fear not, friendos. The perilous pairing will be over Wednesday night at 5. On the bright side, the discussion about how Luke-ster loves the hustle and Andrew hates it made me wanna do the hustle. Do it! Do the hustle!

So Luke had a kid at 17, Andrew has a lazy eye (am I the only one who didn't know that?), and I'm albino. For a fun bonus fact, I had two letters published in the fine literary magazine Entertainment Weekly when I was 15. Who knew many years later I'd be continuing my lifelong ambition of having my thoughts published for no money or recognition?

What's something interesting about you? Leave a comment on this page and if we get some doozies I'll see about coercing Luke into reading some on the show. I'm here for you my fellow tens.

And I want to send my sincere congratulations to Rudy for conquering the squeaky dinosaur. We CAN achieve our dreams!

Love, T-money



The battle of the century has begun! LiveWire vs. Press Play in a
public radio contest made up by KPCC. It's March Madness for Ira Glass
fans. Who's going to win? Will it be LiveWire; the show that's put
together on a wing and a prayer? Will it be Press Play; the daily news
show with the executive producer muttering in the corner and drawing
robots during production meetings? The world is on the edge of its
seat waiting, wondering, hoping. Andrew implores everyone to vote for
him as the results of this competition determine his livelihood. If he
gets fired, what's going to happen to Professor Banana? Think about
the animals!

No, really, who are you voting for? Who do you want to win? Does Luke
really need another award? Does Andrew really need a job? I'm clinging
to my Sweden roots and remaining neutral.

And Andrew experienced his first earthquake! I wish he had a more
exciting story instead of admitting he's crazy and is going to pass
out any minute. I hope Madeleine Brand can catch him when he faints.

I experienced a 6.5 earthquake about 10 years ago. Scary.As.Hades.
First of all, I woke up to it. I was lost in peaceful slumber and woke
up, not to the shaking, but to the sound. That's something people
don't tell you about earthquakes. If it's big enough--you hear it
first. Then the shaking started. In my sleepy haze I thought someone
hit the side of our house before I realized what was happening. In a
"mother lifts up semi-truck to save her three-month-old baby" moment,
I scuttled under my bed which was about 2.5 inches off of the ground.
I don't know how I got under there. Furthermore, I don't know how I
got out. That's the real miracle.

I tried to use my trembling trepidation to get out of work that night
but it didn't work. What's a good earthquake for if not to get me a
night off to watch Friends reruns and eat tater tots?

We'll keep monitoring the public radio cage match over here at TBTL
Central. Oh, and if you didn't get the Tutsi reference, go watch Hotel
Rwanda. But remove all sharp objects from your home and replace them
with a lot of tissues and booze juice.

-Future Former Whitest Blogger Toni

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