Interview with a Vampire (or two)

Vampires are not exactly known for their sense of humor. At least not the ones in the Twilight series. They're dark and brooding creatures, or should I say, pale and brooding, creatures of the night. They're necessarily secretive and clannish, quiet and stoic. And most of all, they're smoldering.

Vampires seduce their audience not by what they say but by what they don't say. It's the repression of their beastly nature, controlling the blood lust, that makes them so damn irresistible. And although a good sense of humor can be sexy, it's rarely smoldering. The vampires in Twilight are too damn earnest to show off much humor. That's why it was so refreshing to see two NEW MOON actors have a good laugh or two during my interview.

I suppose it's fair to say Daniel Cudmore and Charlie Bewley play relatively minor vampires in the Twilight hierarchy of vampires. As Felix and Demetri, they're members of the Volturi Guard, vampires whose job is to keep the other vampires in line. They're tough-guy vampires, henchmen who enforce vampire laws. (I imagine if Dirty Harry was a vampire, he'd be a Volturi.) Felix's power is in his strength, which he uses to rip into and tear apart outlaw vampires. And Demetri is a master-tracker who tracks not scents, but sounds. He can zero in on a rogue vampire by directing his talent to detect a voice from miles and miles away. This particular team of Volturi packs a wicked one-two punch. As such, Cudmore and Bewley's characters are all about getting down to business. After all, these are ultra-serious vampires.

These actors at first seemed to be taken aback by my question about whether they were ever struck by the camp or hokum component of playing vampires. In some ways, I said, vampires are kind of goofy or absurd, aren't they? Both actors eventually got a good chuckle out of the question, especially Bewley (who plays Demetri.) He said it was refreshing to hear someone challenge the validity of the entire project since so many people have been blowing smoke up their various body parts in lavish praise of all things Twilight. He cackled at the notion (and Cudmore joined in) that here he was all puffed up as Mr. Serious Vampire and I was trying to convince him to reconsider: "Wait a minute, I'm pretending to be a vampire ... I'm an idiot! And ridiculous to boot." He laughingly said this line of questioning was "very grounding."

Deciding to press my advantage, I asked the two an even trickier question. Was Robert Pattinson, the now world-famous star of the Twilight movies, a hunk or a twit? Bewley let out a combination gasp and guffaw. "You're asking me to either slander my co-star or admit that I find him smoking hot!" he laughed. Cudmore again joined in on the laughter before they both settled down and acknowleged that the success of the first Twilight film was as much due to Pattinson as Stephanie Meyer, the Twilight author. There's no denying he looks great on camera, Bewley concluded.

The two went on to talk about Pattinson's reservation about his chosen profession since he really would rather be a musician, about the rabid fans who tracked them down, even to the remote Tuscan village in Italy where they were shooting, about the countless girls "and their mums" who begged them to lick (!) them, and finally, about their expectation that, once the movie opens next week, TEAM VOLTURI would soon rival TEAM EDWARD and TEAM JACOB in popularity.

But what I'll remember most about this interview is the two actors' great sense of humor and their easy ability to laugh at themselves, while still relishing what might be the break of their lives. Besides, come next week, they may find themselves laughing all the way to the bank.