On Thursday afternoon we drove to San Simeon, CA to see the Hearst Castle. Jason was interested in the architect out of Berkley (Julia Morgan) and I was basically not that interested but it would be too cold to wait in the car.
These are the reasons I hate tours:
1) You almost always have to ride a bus and you aren't allowed to have coffee, or any order drink or food (this one didn't allow chewing gum, cell phones or iPods....I guess so we wouldn't miss one word of the recorded message playing over the speakers.
2) The tour guides constantly ask where everyone is from; what is the point of this?
3) The kinds of people on the tour:
a) "know it alls" who like to augment the guide and written material;
b) "know nothings" like the woman who asked if Patty Hearst was any relation;
c) "hall monitors" who shush and remind you to stay on the tour carpet;
d) "dimwits who don't get it" (we went in a room with a ceiling from 15th century Spain. This guy next to me couldn't understand the concept of buying a ceiling from an old house in Spain and shipping it to California. He just kept saying over and over, "but this house is here")
e) stragglers who are so amazed by every little thing that the whole tour has to stay in the entryway to the dining room for 15 minutes while they look at a candlestick
f) "snarky brats" like me who hunch in the back annoyed, judging everyone and making sarcastic comments under her breath.
at least you found a way to keep yourself entertained. playing top 5 judging stragglers, dimwits, hall monitors, know nothings, and know it alls. I wonder who recieved the top spot for snarky brat.
I toured the castle a couple of times and thought it was pretty amazing. It also makes a nice stop along the way while traveling the PCH. If you want tour hell, go to a) The Alamo, ran by old militant Texas ladies (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T WEAR A HAT OR ASK TO SEE THE BASEMENT), and b) the BioSphere in Arizona, where they "sealed in" scientists to see if they could live in there for two years.
...or anyone who just takes too long. I was recently at an art museum that had a special exhibit with a famous painting. One woman planted herself right in front of it and wouldn't move. There was a whole crowd of people waiting to see it and everyone had to move around her. She could have looked at the painting for a bit, moved on to something else, and then returned, but no- she just shot people threatening looks. I stood uncomfortably close to her so I could see the painting and ignored the evil eye. Actually, all of those people would have annoyed me and I probably would have been in the "snarky brat" category.
Tours are almost always painful. I feel self conscious about being a total tourist. They are not all bad though, so try to keep an open mind. The ones that work do not take themselves seriously. I did a double decker bus tour in Dublin, and it was like a moving stand up comedy show.
On a side note that building is such a gastley Frankenstein of a bunch of seperately beautiful things, it is both apalling and facinating at the same time. Only Vegas trumps it.
Put down the haterade you two. Maybe Jen is on an epic journey with the same person day in and day out and needs a place to vent. Maybe if she lets out all the snarkiness here she doesn't have to bicker with Jason while confined to the same 12 feet for a year. I can barely make it home from the grocery store without being annoyed by my husband, and the whole time I am thinking, "Jen is riding in a car with her husband for a YEAR...you can make it home". There are lots of compromises on a trip and in life, but if you can act silly and vent to a friend it can be alot easier to bear.
g) "15 year olds who are high (for the first time!) on copious amounts of ritalin and keep asking if hearst was a pervert."
that was the last time i was allowed in the mighty castle.
...like militant texas women, and students on break. Part of the blame for that lies with the b)'s and d)'s but heck, a little enthusiasm for what might be a pilgrimage for one of your guests? The Alamo's basement is sacred to many... And on one of my many tours of Neuschwanstein castle in Germany, the guide said the height of something was "75 meters" [or something]. Then an b) American tourist asked "how many feet is that? The 2-a) response was "this is the last tour today. you figure it out." A LOT of good stuff, which I had seen on previous visits, was also skipped that time... We try to stay away from the buses if possible, because another peeve is 4) TOUR BUSES. You get stuck behind a wad of noisy a-f)'s and get all snarky yourself. But one time in Portugal, my wife and I waited in line to pay the admission, and I was literally elbowed aside by a bus driver who wanted tix for his peeps. Someone with a radio came by during that, and when I tried to pay (we WERE next) we were told that today was just declared a holiday, and all monuments were free! What was better than saving a few escudos was knowing that the bus driver would have saved LOTS of escudos if he wasn't in such a hurry.
