Fresh out of prison I landed a job in Tukwila, about five minutes from Sea-Tac airport. I drove to work in my brother's old rusty, mildewed, Camaro that overheated at every stoplight unless you shut off the engine. It was a generous gift as I wasn't going to be able to afford a car for a while, but I always parked far away from the office entrance. My co-workers already knew I was an ex-con, but a guy who drives a Camaro? Nope.
The neighborhood Luke parked in is very near where I lived for the first six years after my release. Many nice people live there and there's a good chance his Toyota will be pristine when he Ubers back over there on Tuesday. There's also a chance my old friend Bruce and his three mangy ferrets will be living in there, rent free. But when you're trying to save $8.99 a day you take your chances.
Get ready for #KetchupGate, fellas. There's nothing foodies take more seriously than "NO KETCHUP ON HOT DOGS!" When Luke was asking why mustard was standard at Wienerschnitzel and ketchup wasn't I pictured laser beams of hate shooting out from under "hipster fat guy" hats all over the world. Thankfully I live in Austin where you can order anything you want as long as you take the mandatory side of ranch dressing.
My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I'm all about Russian car crash videos. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out the Takedown Podcast Facebook page where we're doing a Kickstarter for Burnedy's, a restaurant that will serve only burnt food.
It was an informal affair, no jacket required, in San Antonio yesterday. Against all odds, Phil Collins donated his large collection of Texas Revolution artifacts to the Alamo. But seriously, what made Phil decide he and his valuable memorabilia to live separate lives? At face value it seems that he has a groovy kind of love for history. And that means another day in paradise for us in ranch dressing country.
If there are 31 days in a Truck Month, is that four Shark Weeks and three Dealin' Days? I think I hate "new country" music because I hate us. And by us I mean white people. And by white people I mean Kid Rock, Trace Adkins and Toby Keith. And by those guys I mean white people who are embarrassing themselves. This is not to say I don't love America. You'll never sell me an unnecessarily large truck with your autotuned anthems but I will defend to the death your right to try.
I have sympathy for the ad wizards tasked with conjuring campaigns for McDonalds. The demographic is so long and wide that you can't really do or say anything interesting. The ad buy IS the campaign. They could just put pictures of the food up with no copy, just the logo, and it would be as effective as anything they've done in 30 years. Just make the massive media buy, throw the logo up, and get your "share of voice." Shake it off, Ronald.
My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I post vaguely suicidal thoughts to get attention. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out the Facebook page for Takedown Podcast where we compare scone/concrete recipes.
If you take only one thing away from yesterday's show make it this: The best defense is not being a creep. The reason people are quick to believe allegations against Jian Gomeshi is that, by most accounts, he is creepy. If you treat people badly sooner or later life is going to bite you right in the biscuit.
Something Good by Juan Luis Guerra would be great "at bat" music for a very happy baseball player. That made me think about what our own "at bat" songs would be. It must be something you like that also makes a statement about your intentions at the plate. I would like No Quarter by Led Zeppelin and I want Kai Ryssdal to take Tom Hutyler's place to announce me. What's your AB music?
I have to take a moment to sharpshoot Luke. The UW game we watched at his house was not against Arizona but actually Arizona State. I was embarrassed for him when he missed that detail, but in going back through video of the end of that game I was surprised to find that Luke had one detail right on the money. Many of the UW defensive players WERE actually having sex with each other during the critical Hail Mary play. A shocking lack of discipline which marked the Steve Sarkisian era.
My "government" is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where I like to post about ebola despite knowing less than nothing about how pathogens work. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Check out the Facebook page for Takedown Podcast where we carefully place our hamburger on the floor while we go potty because we are not animals.
Call me a dommy but I'm a sucker for Luke's Kai Ryssdal impression. When you put the Led in it then it's just catnip for old Clip Clop. And a 103 minute episode including TBTL Sports Extra AND an audio roll-off? This was one of my favorite recent episodes. Warren Olney parking Andrew in with his Lamborghini Countach is quite a story. But I suppose he just really needed to get to the point. For those of you who get that joke I'm sorry.
Because of the debate on the sTens Facebook page we're obligated to address the Port Townsend parking controversy. Over the years we've followed Luke's adventures as he parks facing the wrong direction, in loading zones, and an handicapped spaces. He once even got a ticket for parking on the dance floor. Folks, that's just who he is. Leave a post on FB about it or even leave a note on his car about it. But don't double back to start name-calling or Luke will headbutt you with gusto and you'll see some Midnight Stars.
My government is Mike Frizzell. Friend me on Facebook where you can keep trying to convince me that America needs more guns, not fewer. Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Go to the Facebook page for Takedown Podcast where we just posted a "Criterion Collection" episode w/ Mike Pesca where we solve all problems in professional sports.
On Thursday’s show Luke confessed to feelings of rage at a bar when people near him have the nerve to root for the other team. It can’t be uncommon as the men in my family feel the same thing. This is why it is a bad idea to follow your team to a road game.
Best case scenario is your team wins and the fans quietly resent you. Every other scenario involves verbal abuse, taunting, things being thrown at/dumped on you, even physical violence. Ask the San Francisco Giant fan who was nearly beaten to death in an LA parking lot outside Dodger stadium whether he wishes he’d stayed home and watched the game on TV. He’ll probably answer something like “sweet potato fries” because he has brain damage.
I’ve never been in a fight when I was drinking while watching a game. I’ve never fought anyone over a girl. But I have been in fights while playing sports. It’s tough to admit but something ugly, primal, and probably tribal is in there. Luke feels it, too, and we struggle to keep it tamped down. Mine manifested itself in fights on basketball courts, not sports bars or stadiums, but I’ve felt the rage in those places as well.
None of this applies to the midwest, of course. People in the midwest are very nice, polite, and friendly. Except for Jo Ellen McCawley, who is a raging bitch and will neckpunch you for looking at her chest on the train.
Follow me @drewmcfrizz on Twitter. Friend me on Facebook where I’ll tell you all about my Halloween costume. My “government” is Mike Frizzell. Go to the Facebook page for Takedown Podcast to witness a discussion about a man experiencing sexual frostbite.