I don't remember if I have mentioned this on the blog before, but I used to live in Melbourne, and I'm lucky enough to get to back for a week this Friday. I moved to Australia when I was 25 because I learned a neat little trick. If you're in you're mid-twenties and sort of flailing, and you want to trick people into thinking you're more interesting than you really are, just move to another country for while. Waiter at a cafe in Melbourne sounds a lot cooler than waiter at the Applebee's in Lynnwood.
Australia has sharks, and the AP has photos of sharks
Australia is like America's casual cousin. It feels pretty much the same, culturally, until one day you're at the Coles grocery store and Frosted Flakes are on sale -you work fifteen hours a week, so you get the cereal that's on sale - and there are no boxes on the shelf. I just stood there and stared for a minute. They also have no idea how to make a pizza. The sushi game is on a different level, though. They don't have fancy sushi like Seattle, but they sell handrolls without cutting them all over the place. It's like a big sushi burrito you can eat on the go. We should really adopt this sushi style, guys. I want to eat a spicy tuna roll on the bus.
song of the day drunk n luv diplo
Yesterday I tried to tell you the other day that sports are magic. I take it back. Sports are garbage, and the Philadelphia Phillies organization is a smelly dumpster.
If you don't feel like reading the article, here are the cliff notes: Phillies draft kid. Kid gets agent to help him with contract stuff. Kid decides not to sign contract with Phillies. Phillies snitch on kid for using agent. NCAA suspends kid for his senior college season.
AJ Burnett had nothing to do with this, but he looks like he could be a dirtbag.
Yuck. If you are a student athlete, the NCAA wants you to know that they own you, and they will be done making money off of your labor when they say so. And the Phillies want you to know if they can't have you, nobody can. Sports are stupid. They can make grown adults act like petty children. I would know, I've played enough pickup basketball games to get into my share of childish, petty arguments.
One time my brother and I were playing wiffle ball in the front yard and got into an argument about who would go get the foul ball I hit to the other side of the yard. His logic was: You hit it. You git it. My logic was: You're closer, buttbreath. We argued so long my mom came out to break us up. She could tell we were arguing about who had to go get the ball, and when she saw it just chilling on the other side of the lawn, she looked more disappointed than any other person I have ever seen.
I'm excited for Mariners season anyways!
Song of the day Money The Drums
That's a pretty cool photo, right? It's not as cool as this photo that I wanted to use, but not all the photos on the internet are AP photos, so you get what you get.
The way I feel about the Olympics is a lot like how Hansel feels about Sting. I don't watch them, or really care about who wins, but the fact that they're out there competing, I respect that.
Olympics, and sports in general, exist to remind us that we're capable of more than we give ourselves credit for. Every Olympic games features at least one new world record - I'm assuming. That's another person who did something that didn't exist before. Before Roger Bannister, the 4 minute mile was only an idea. The first time he ran a mile in under 4 minutes, he brought that into our physical universe. Sports can be an act of creation.
Olympians are just people who decided they wanted to be the best at something, and dedicated their lives to it. I think it's silly to dedicate your life to or spinning around in the air with a snowboard the most, but hearing that someone got so good at spinning around on a snowboard that they spun through to another dimension and came back with a new element for our world reminds me that I could probably get a lot more done if I would focus more and Tinder less.
Sports are like magic. Telling me you don't like sports is liking telling me you don't like magic. We can still be friends, but I do not understand that part of you, dude.
Song of the day El Final Juanita y Los Feos
I started my current job and quickly realized I wouldn't be able to focus enough on a podcast to get anything out of it. Even with my full attention, I am barely competent enough to not get fired. So now I listen to music all day at work, and my commute is not long enough to get into a podcast, so I usually just listen to music on my walk too.
If I'm driving to do a set somewhere, I like to listen to music - pump up jams, specifically. It's a good way for me to get the blood flowing and get into the kind of positive mindset I would like to have on stage.
Then I drove to Lynnwood the other day to help my mom buy an iPhone - Lord, beer me patience - and I bumped the cuts both ways. I had a golden opportunity to crush an episode of TBTL, maybe even two, but I chose to car dance the whole way to Lynnwood and back.
TBTL, and most of the other podcasts I like, feel like a conversation with friends, and sometimes your fiends want to have a conversation that reminds you of something that bums you out. I can't control how a conversation with friends is going to make me feel, but I can control how music is going to make me feel by curating playlists of songs to make me feel how I want to feel. So I can listen to that Drake song when I want to feel like I am the kid with the motor mouth.
I'm guessing this is probably some kind of metaphor for how I interact with other people that I'm not emotionally present enough to recognize or articulate. If you happen to see me on the street, say hi so I have to interact and have a conversation with another person and I can't hide in my headphones.
Song of the day Your Loft My Acid Death in Vegas
PS I have the day off so I wrote this with no pants on. Happy Presidents Day!
Are any of you guys the fall asleep with the TV on type? I sure am, and I've been thinking a lot about the types of art and media I take in. There was a year or so in my life when I watched How I Met Your Mother every night until I fell asleep. Multiple episodes, if necessary. I would start at season one, episode one, watch all the way through the full run of the show at that point (this was around season 4-5), then just start right back over. I don't even really like that show, but I've seen every episode from the first five seasons at least 5 times. While I might not have found it very entertaining, I did find it comforting.
My parents like TV too, so I grew up watching a lot of Seinfeld, Friends, and whatever dumb shows were on around them. HIMYM is a well executed version of the most generic sitcom premise possible: singles in the big city. It's all of those sitcoms that came and went, but rolled into one big ball, and then rolled through a big patch of Jennifer Aniston's hair (the key to Friends's success). It reminded me of all those shows at once, and it made me feel like I was home and safe.
Also, Jason Segel is a national treasure
For a while my go to sleepy show was Raising Hope, which I like, but never enough to make an effort to watch it when it airs. The characters in that show remind me of much dumber, cartoonier, white trashier versions of my family.
Lately it's been The League, which I think is full of funny jokes, but sort of indefensible when it comes to character development or story structure. It's a show about fantasy football. I don't like admitting I like fantasy football, let alone a late night cable TV show about fantasy football. I feel greasy about liking it, because I think part of the reason I like it and find it comforting is it reminds me of all those USA network sitcoms from the 90's like Weird Science. You know, those shows that were ostensibly comedies, but in reality were just the culmination of a bunch of preteen boys' dashed hopes that a boobie might show up on basic cable.
Okay, so I kind of thought I was going somewhere with that, but I ran out of time. I'm writing this on my lunch break (hustle game: Charlie) and I have to go back to "giving all four" to the man, but I next week I'll wrap this up with some other thoughts on music and how I try to control my emotions with pop culture. Maybe it will turn into a cohesive piece of writing. Probably not!
Enjoy your long weekend.
Song of the day Don't Tell Me Empress of