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Awww. Jay-Z and Beyonce may be breaking up? That's a bummer. But… should we really care that much? They're just another couple formed of two real people with real lives and real problems trying to make a marriage work. I'm almost always saddened by divorce, but to grieve the ending of a relationship that we have no personal part in seems kind of strange. Of course this comes from someone who, when I was a teenager, was pissed off to an angsty degree when I found out Bryan White was engaged. He was supposed to marry me. Not Erika Page.

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Guys… I really tried to drum up an opinion on the Iggy Azalea thing and I don't think I can do it. Can I just say I agree with whatever Andrew said? That's pretty much my position when it comes to any race-related discussion. I agree with Andrew.

Confession: I really want a task rabbit. But like a real rabbit that does things for me. Like cleans my house and changes my kids' diapers and writes these blog posts. And I would name it Snowball.

I've gotta go convince my kids it is, in fact, time to sleep. I need a task rabbit to do that, too.

-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

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I can't bring myself to talk about a show where I was a guest on the show. Too meta. So… way to go Brock on Game of Cat-ing Burbank!

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(Rex Features via AP Images)

You can find me here, here, and here.

And here's a picture of a kitten.

-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

TBTL Song of the Day: All is Love by Karen O & the Kids
My song of the Day: Any song by Tony! Toni! Tone!

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Dude. Andrew's bar fight story was intense. It was almost surreal, too, because we all know that Andrew is a super nice guy who wouldn't be mean to anyone. That lady was crazy, though. I'm surprised he left a tip at all, although I guess fifty cents is almost more a slap in the face than leaving nothing. What he should've done is draw a perfect copy of the emoji that's a smiling pile of poop. That would've showed her.

Is it okay?!

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Beef is worse than pork and poultry when it comes to the environment: The problem with studies is next week there will be another study which says that pigs' urine is slowly burning a hole into the ground and in 3000 years the Earth will look like Swiss cheese. Eat what you wanna eat. It's all going to burn anyway and our grandkids will probably colonize Mars so it's all good.

Name dropping: Yes, it's totally okay to name drop. It can break the ice in an awkward situation. It can freeze the ice if you're talking to someone you don't wanna keep talking to. It can make a story interesting or it could be a segue into a whole new awesome conversation. I say this as someone who has zero names to drop, though, so what do I know?

Amazon and the CIA: I guess this makes me a cynic, but I just assume that everything I do or say or put online is available to the world if they're smart enough to access it. To me this whole "cloud" thing will just make it easier for the government to know that I've almost bought the complete series of Daria on DVD about 712 times.

-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

Song of the Day: When They Fight They Fight by TheGenerationals

My Song of the Day: Mistakes We Knew We Were Making by Mae

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Sorry about the silence yesterday everyone. This albino was alsicko. I think the heat got to me or something. I'm on the mend though thanks mostly to alternating water, Gatorade, and meatloaf. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I'm actually typing this from bed so pardon the brevity, but I couldn't let you guys head into your weekend without my inane thoughts on things.

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1. I love Luke's mom. Every story he tells endears me to her even more. Much like her, "I say, I say, what's up dog?" I too have a phrase I say when I'm confused. "Thank you, Paul Bunyan?" It's borrowed from a good friend of mine who I think borrowed it from a friend of hers. Circle of life and all.

2. Andrew is adorable when he talks about his stuffed animals. And he also has the best laugh. Seriously. My stuffed animal tale is this. When I was born, because of the whole albinism thing, no one was sure if I could really see or not because, ya know, you can't really play the "how many fingers am I holding up?" game with a newborn. Go figure. It wasn't until I was a month or two old when I looked over at a Garfield stuffed animal and smiled at it. That's how my folks knew I could see. Sweet, right? It also embedded in me a love for Garfield which is where I learned the art of sarcasm.

3. After today, I would add Wordpress.com tech support to the list that shall not be named.

4. As far as candy I'd include in the bag, I'd have to say Chick-o-Sticks Bit-O-Honey, and anything else with an O in the middle.

5. Have a great weekend! Rumor has it you'll be hearing me on the show sometime in the near future.

-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

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In the name of all that is holy, stop talking about food!!! Oh, and congrats for being 188, Luke.

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I can't talk about Weird Al. I will just say that my husband could not be more happy with Al's new tunes, and I could not be less happy.

So Andrew thinks if he worries enough about something it'll work itself out and Burbank believes in jinxes. What inexplicable thing do I believe in?

Monsters under the bed.

For reals guys. I guess it's not necessarily monsters, but if I don't fall asleep fast enough, my imagination convinces me that if I open my eyes there's going to be an alien staring at me. Or if I stick my foot out of the bed, some creepy thing is going to grab it and… I don't know… tickle it or something.

I'm feeling very vulnerable now. Please share your weird inexplicable belief so I don't feel so alone.

-toni hammer // whitestten@gmail.com // @realtonihammer

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Next »
TBTL Backyard Picnic
When: Thursday, August 28, 6:30pm to 9pm
Where: Chateau Ste. Michelle lawn | Map
What: It's down home potluck style, so bring a dish to share with your Tens friends. Well behaved and leashed dogs are welcome. There will be lawn games, karaoke and of course TBTL.

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