Check this out iPhone users... we finally have a TBTL app, and it's really cool. Get the link here. The app's soundboard lets you arbitrarily declare things Awesome and Not Awesome, listen to the show, check the blog, email me and Jen, follow our twitter feed and lots of other stuff. It's really really amazing, and we have our friend Greg over at Rational Robot to thank for it.

Please go subscribe right now (it's free) and start enjoying the TBTL more than you ever thought you could.

-- Luke Burbank

The other night I gave a ride @ 3am to a kind of sketchy dude (well, I only say that because he tried to sell me some crack). I mentioned on the air that a small part of why I agreed to give the ride was because the fellow was African American, and I didn't want to seem like the kind of white who doesn't give rides to people who are black (I should have turned him down based on the fact that he was buying a single bag of Skittles at 3am at a grocery store, but I digress). Well listener Alex of the ManhaTENs was worried for my safety, and wanted to make sure that my white guilt didn't get me into any more near-pickles, so he gave me this official confirmation that I am a 'cool' white person, and didn't need to give rides to crack-sellers to prove it. I read part of it on the air, but a bunch of you asked me to post it in it's entirety, so here it is:

To paraphrase whatever Joel McHale's character on 'Community' is named, not being racist is the new racist. Your heart is in the right place, but eventually, it becomes the socialogical equivalent of the guy who goes around announcing how straight he is and then makes out with dudes at a gay club just to "prove" that it's not a big deal-- kinda suspect.

In order to alleviate your stress, as a black person, I officially deem you to be Cool. I've been a Ten long enough to feel completely comfortable vouching for you; I'll file all the paperwork at the next meeting. As a result, please no longer feel obligated to do insane things that might get you killed in order to prove that you aren't in the Klan. Note that this does not absolve you of the obligation to vote for Obama in 2012.

Also, you can now just say "black" instead of the cumbersome and inaccurate "African-American." your new status is an indication that you've filled your political correctness quota and no longer need to participate. This right is retained indefinitely as long as you remember to self-cencor out the n-word while rapping along with hip-hop lyrics and watch the entire series of "The Wire" whenever HBO On Demand goes back to Season 1. Each violation of that rule counts as 1/3 of a counter-credit and I'd hate to see you come back before the council just because you got too in to a Jay-Z song.

Your membership card should come in 6-8 weeks, but in the meantime, please carry a copy of this email as identifcation:

Verification Code
738-02XG-NW48.

You're welcome,
Alex of the ManhatTens

Sent from my iPhone

Thank you Alex, you've given me a rare and precious gift. I will treasure it.

-- Luke 'cool white' Burbank

On today's show, yet another sex tape scandal, Jen checks in from the New Mexico border, and comedian Andy Haynes!

-- Luke Burbank

Via Buzzfeed and our dear friend Tanner over there:

"A man in Texas drove his Bugatti Veyron, which costs about $2 million, into a lake after a low-flying pelican caused him to drop his cell phone, and he bent over to pick it up. All of this happened as two teenagers in another car were recording him as they admire his car."

I've watched this like 15 times this morning. Here's the thing, if it was an '82 Celica, I would feel terrible for the person, but I guess I just assume anyone who can get their hands on a 2 million dollar car is also kind of a doucher (which, I know, it not a reasonable thing to assume).

Anyway, however badly you screwed something up today, take comfort in the fact that you didn't crash a 2 million dollar car into a lake in Texas while some kids videotaped it.

-- Luke Burbank

I was going to take today off, but then I forgot to put a taped show together, and figured I'd just break down and do a live thingy @ noon like normal. Today's show will be pretty short, mostly involving the comedy stylings of the super-funny Andy Haynes, and the story of how I almost got killed by a crackhead last night @ QFC.

See you in a few minutes!

-- Luke Burbank